ASPULL RFC

ASPULL RFC

Wilmslow 0 - 45 Aspull

by Richard Walsh

Vets get off to a perfect start.

Players and spectators travelled from far and wide ( well travelled far and most of them are wide) for Aspull vets much anticipated 1st fixture of the season away at Wilmslow. With journey planner Martin ‘ what do you mean those bricks don’t match’ Jump in charge of those intrepid explorers who ventured on the train. With the inside knowledge of Keegs to ensure we got the cheapest tickets Baz, Mick, Ned , Spadge , Meehan ,Young Angy and of course Jumpy met at the station. Mick told us the story behind the Apple motif on computers Ned informed us how Harry Ramsdens get there fish filleted and Spadge talked us through his purchase of some new £15 boots. (Should have bought a bucket to but that will come later) the conversation was riveting !!!!. other questions to be answered would Chaddy turn up and if he did after missing training would he be selected? would the Whitfield (dangerous) brothers remember Mick Smith and would Forest remember it was Saturday. after arriving at Stockport station to change trains Jumpy informed us we had 4 mins to get to other side of the track and catch our connection so off we set at break net speed arriving on the correct platform at 13.38 only to note that the train was due to leave at 13.51 now I may not be a brain surgeon but 13.38 plus 4 is not 13.51 !!! Jumpy did try to get himself out this by saying our train was early as it should have arrived at 13.39 you can do your own maths !!!!. we eventually arrived at Wilmslow but there was a bit of confusion as young angy said ‘this can’t be Wilmslow I have just seen a Ford garage’.
We made it to the ground with just enough time to avoid a warm up. Mark Meadows arrived with Coopy remarkably early and with a horrendous union jack top on !!!!
The team was announced by captain Mick who remembered the Kit but forget to pack any shoes to go out in at night. After what can only be described as a nature ramble we eventually arrived on the pitch. With 18 players setting off and only 17 at kick off Papa Smurf had got lost but luckily his little elf friends found him and directed him to the pitch some people thought he mite have stopped off in the woods to do some fishing. The referee came to check studs and asked is pete anglesea not with you the reply came back no but we brought his fat brother !!. the 1st 15 mins were very scrappy with both sides making plenty mistakes, aspull’s backs were looking dangerous but then again Damien always does. Mark ‘angry ‘ Meadows broke through the defence and layed on the try for Chaddy to score Mark then proceeded to follow the wilmslow full back down the pitch and providing a few choice words. Baz converted and aspull’s season was up an running ( or is that walking) . 0-7 the next score ( well I think it was the next score) was finished off by a slow bald fat bloke who wears a skull cap his name escapes me at the moment so I do apologise to him Baz again converted 0-14 the Vets were now getting back to last seasons form although several mistakes were still being made. Ned resplendent in his new boots he didn’t need any but they were on offer and you know what Neds like for a bargain! Scored the next try wide out and Baz again converted to make it 0-21 as HT approached. With a well deserved rest at HT well some of us deserved it aspull were well in control of the match. It was a memorable day as Haleys comet was seen to travel over the pitch and even more remarkable DARREN WHITFIELD was seen to enter 2 yes 2 Rucks. The historians have been informed but with no photographic evidence they are very sceptical about the authenticity of it. They did however believe us about Haleys comet. The 2nd half began just like the first with the ref blowing his whistle .now playing uphill against the wind and with glare from haleys comet in their eyes aspull continued to dominate the forwards were making yards Baz and Darren took 3 against the head in the scrum and papa smurf had recovered from his traumatic journey thank god for the little people finding him ( No I don’t mean you Jumpy) and was having a great game making several breaks and offloading like a proper player. Ned decided that he was going to keep the ball everytime he got it and scored a try after only 2 double movements good job the ref didn’t go to the screen Baz converted 0-28. Coopy had joined the proceedings and was involved on several occasions most of them involving him dropping the ball. aspull continued to bomb try after try with Forrest dropping it with the line begging Darren was forced into touch Shotty was held up over the line by a 3stone wet through winger !!! but the Biggest and most remarkable Bombing of a try ever was Gary Spadge Owen who dropped the most perfect pass ever to be passed with only 3 inches to go fortunately for Spadge it was soon forgotten by his team mates and wasn’t mentioned. Aspull scored futher tries by winger John and Forrest and Ned completed his hat trick in his new boots Baz converted Neds try from wide out some people said he was on the car park. to leave the final score Wilmslow 0 Aspull 45. A good start to the season Glynn Boyce had an outstanding game much better than his uncle Spadge.
Next week aspull entertain Lymm for what will be a much tougher test