Q. How many Handsworth players does it take to carry the water-bottles?
A. Just the one – because his twenty-four mates are too busy trying to get the better of the Aston 4th team to take a drink!

Having come mob-handed to the Memorial Ground, Handsworth 3rds were slightly shocked to be
seven points down in the first five minutes after Rich “The Baby-Faced Assassin” Walker, twisted
turned and pummelled his way through the rather large visitor’s backline to score under the posts.

Shocked into action, the Handsworth forwards started to come alive and feeding the
largest centres since the Dutch opened up a chain of ‘Parc’ villages, battered the Aston defence in
wave after wave of attack. Holding out admirably, Handsworth then started to try and force
their set moves with the unfortunate consequence that with just ten minutes gone Mr. Walker once
again got his mucky-mitts on the ball and cruised through their defence like Jedward at an over-
sixties tea dance. Starting to tactically use their plentiful replacements, Handsworth were able to
exert pressure up the middle of the pitch, probing the fringes and finally managing to get two tries
against the run of play. Trying to restore the equilibrium, James “Relight My Fire” Wilson (today at
his more familiar role of Full Back) went on one of his foraging runs and after several phases of
interplay with the backs, managed to scoot over the line. Unfortunately the line in question was
of the dead-ball variety, and Aston were called back after having already lined up for the re-start!

Fitness started once again to play it’s part in shaping the game and just as it did at Sutton the week
before, the Aston defence started to resemble a badly made rice-pudding - all soggy and lumpy like
in the middle. Another Handsworth score sent Aston into the half-time break with work to do, but if
there is one thing this fledgling team has in bags, it is determination.

In the front row Marc “Buddha” Banks, Wilf and Andy “Concrete” Coveney traded blow for blow
with a robust and creative opposition, whilst in the back row Steve “Statham” Hobson and Kieran
“Curley” Wharton were guided and overseen by Major David Jones who as always, was all over the
park and being a thorn in the side of the Handsworth game plan. Unfortunately, three bad decisions
in quick succession by the Aston captain resulted in two further scores for the visitors, and suddenly
Aston were loosing ground. Manfully trying to keep the spark alive, Harry Baldock popped a lovely
weighted ball to the charging Banks, who drove fifteen yards into the heart of the red and whites,
laying back the ball in such a way as to allow Matty “The hairdresser” Rainbow and Webster “The
Bike Rack” to blast the opposition out of the way and allow Rich “I’m a Brummie” Bevan to side-step
and dummy his way over the whitewash. Suddenly realising that Handsworth were starting to run
out of extra players, Aston found their second wind with Paul “Brown Ale” Homer and Kit “The
Anesthetist” Showandae playing havoc in the mid-field. Aston pounded the opposition line,
constantly asking questions and gaining ground inch by inch. Sam “I’m fu*k all to do with Blake”
Bennett manfully kept charging into a wall of defence but just couldn't find that weak link. Suddenly
out of nowhere Bevan spotted a gap and feeding a startling run by Hobson the ball found its way to
Kit who put his head down and drove through and over for the last score of the day. Sadly H’s final
conversion couldn’t bring the score differential to within one point but in a fiercely competed game
like this, Aston can be incredibly proud that they’ve took yet another giant step in the rebuilding
process.

PS, can we please not mention the loss of the 4th team Buddha at the end of the game this week. It is
Of course, not necessary to name (or remind repeatedly) the person who won the custodial rights,
then proceeded to leave it unattended (in a rugby club of all places), where it quite predictably
went walkies. James Wilson has promised, however, that it won’t happen again. Nuff Said.