Depleted by injury, unavailability and the usual away flu syndrome of the 1st we only had 10 on Friday night. Building up in the last few weeks was a desire from 2 members of the twinkle toes Berry Hill Hut ballet team to perform for the wappers. Sharkey & Julian Overthrow
donned tutus and made the journey to Stroud, the later putting the call out for anybody with a spare pair of size 11 ballet shoes. Craig David had rung this week to say he had a mate (must be the other one) who could play in the back row if we needed him. Stenners
wanted a run out to see if his knees were up to it, anyone who’d seen him in the gym this week could have told him yes after watching him squat with 500kg’s on his shoulders. Beaner said he was unavailable due to “ I’m on the smash with my uni mates,” but when the rallying call went out he said he would but don’t expect too much. Little shirt said he would play if beaner did????? You work that one out. Anyhow late Friday night we managed to have 16 on paper. Then the dreaded sat morning text from oh dear I’ve banged my head who was feeling poorly and 1 half of jedwood saying his shoulder was still hurting, down to 14 but shirty senior’s inability to use his digits cause of cost appeared pushing us back up to the 15 which looked impossible only 12 hours earlier. Mickey Maguire was driving the fun bus and ironside had to pick beaner up from glos train station. Before we got to Stroud the only dilemma we had was trying to work out what would be best for the team, try and get them to lend us a prop or go uncontested as we had the the 2 ballerinas in the second row, 1 that had done his last pleeay at 17 and the other who thought that that was a kung fu move. The decision was made for us, when I met craig david at the Stroud’s ground with his mate who turned out to be an half tidy tighthead prop( I think craig david is still learning the positions). Unfortunately we had to kick off with 14 due to nice nelly being half hour late, maybe thinking it was a 3 o’clock kick off, understandable after all he hasn’t been playing that long an I’m sure he’ll pick it up the more he plays, k.o. times change with the clocks dinlow! So to the conflict unfortunately Stroud picked up on the fact we only had 14 and ran in 2 early tries without us touching the ball really,that and ted bundy has still not quite found boris’s barn door yet. The sniper struck early with his old mate beaner who he is now on first name terms with, off he came with a chunk missing from his elbow which is apparently on a pavement somewhere in Cheltenham still tripping up old ladies as we speak. With a no.1 field dressing applied he was ready to go back on still suffering from the bender the night before and stinking like George best’s favourite beer matt. The scrums took a bit of time to settle down with the ballerinas in there but all said and done they coped admirably, the shark destroyer popping up in the loose pirouetting in the tackle an allsorts and Julian oversize concentrating on breathing for the both of ‘em and adjusting tutus & leotards when required on the front foot. Nice nelly eventually made it, he trotted on and we were up to a full compliment which stiffened up the defence somewhat. We started to get a bit of ball and the machine started to make inroads in to ‘em the knees passing the test hands down resulting in the bent copper from yam yam land going over for a score. Their youngsters trying to outpace us at every opportunity managed to get another 2 before halftime making it 20 – 5 at the break. In the second chukka we managed a monumental stint of 20+ minutes where we kept the ball hiding up the destroyer’s tutu, burying it in the fatty pile ons and Mickey Maguire conning the referee with various car boot car parking arrangements and other divertary tactics. The ref on this occasion was the star of the show, the main man everyone had come to see, his decision making at times only known to him and his special friend(he must of had 1 or at least he did at school). At times me looking at their bloke, him looking at me and then a synchronised shrugging of both pairs of shoulders said it all. The machine continued to batter ‘em in to submission and was rewarded with 2 tries, they scored another one. We were disallowed a try by the ref or it could have been his special friend advising him we weren’t sure and they were given a penalty try after going into touch and then being tackled?????????? A final outcome of a 34 -15 defeat which take out the early 2 due to 14 men, the penalty try and our disallowed 1 it could have been so different. A great effort by all considering we didn’t have a side Friday night. A big thanks to the Bolshoi ballet for lending us 2 of their finest & thanks to Stumpy
for a sterling performance at the coalface. After dropping beaner off at casualty to have his elbow rebuilt and have a blood transfusion I went to work. I was later informed the trip home was quite delightful culminating in debutant drinks for the ballerinas who’s reputations go before them in the art of quaffing , the jury are still out studying the the photo for who did it the quickest, I’d imagine if you blinked you would have missed it. Next week thornbury away a bit of a slow boat with hopefully sat nav at the wheel, rugby on the telly and a possible apple refreshment station on the way back.
Ta ta for now Ironside & mickey