I will start with two. Omphaloskepsis is my first; this is a posh word for the noble art of navel gazing. However, in these chastened times I recommend that you stick to gazing at your own navel. I will try and work it in to one of these essays on the human condition at some point in the future, because I have failed to manage it this week, so far.

My second word of the day came to me when I was looking for a single word to sum up the excitement levels of the second half last week in the grand city of Sheffield – hypnagogic. This is the ability to induce sleep; a neat summation…but onwards and upwards.

October 25th, this Saturday is the Saints Day of St Crispin and St Crispinian, who it seems are jointly the patron Saints of Cobblers; I think we may we have celebrated their big day out a week early last week, as both sides were consistently at home to Mr Cockup from first whistle to last. All I learned from my day out in the Steel City was that Sheffield has the highest ratio of trees to population for any city in Europe.

When it comes down to it we incurred the wrath of the official a few too many times and coughed up the penalties which gave the home side the “w”. Sheffield had the wise old head of Jimmy Jimmy Pearson (named after the Undertones song, apparently) to knock over the winning three pointers right and the death and that was that.

Those hardly souls who travelled to Abbeydale returned to Wagon Lane rather non-plussed by the Sheffield performance. How the blinking flip are they second in the division was the question most asked. I do not doubt they took their chances and beat us fair N Square, but…I like big buts.

Sheffield can prove us all wrong by puncturing the tyres of the Dinnington juggernaut when the top two in the division lock horns on Saturday afternoon….

This week we turn our attention to the good men of Rochdale. So what in a nutshell, do I know about our opponents?
A quick glance at the old league table shows they are the most prolific points scorers in the division having rattled in 221 in their seven games (nearly 32 a game, if you like to know averages). They have also been reasonably free spirited at the other end of the field, allowing 165 (24 per game) in through the tradesman’s entrance.

Their key man in trousering the points seems to be full back and kicker James Duffy, who landed six from seven last weekend, but from what I can glean from match reports they seem to be steadily building a useful pack, who gave Wheatley what for last week.
The last season The Bees and Rochdale were in the same division was the 2010/11 season when we won by 27-66 over in Rochdale on September 11th 2010 with the return fixture at Wagon Lane also looking a tad lop-sided as we won 67-12. James Morton helped himself to four tries that December afternoon, with Gavin Stead also claiming a couple of scores out on the other flank. Remarkably Steady hit the post three times with conversions in that game.

The Bees line up in that second fixture has a not unfamiliar ring to it: from 1 to 15 – Peglau, Brown, Wederell, Hughes, Mitchell (B), Mitchell (M), Cokell, Ford; Scull, Greaves (P), Morton, Brimacombe, McBirnie, Stead, Greaves (B) – although only 5 of that 15 are regular starters for us now.

Eddie Peglau is back in training, so may well re-appear in a Bees shirt sometime soon; James Brown is now plying his trade at Old Brodlieans. Martyn Mitchell appears to be done for the season again, thanks to his wonky shoulder, but he is still young enough to possibly get back playing some time in the future as we need some more gingers in the back row. Of the famously ginner 6, 7, 8 from that season, Mr Cokell is still with us and bumping and barging with the best of ‘em, Fordy is now frightening members of the public in China Shops all across Cheshire, and continues to run bucket loads of points in for Chester. Phil Greaves has become the wise old man of the Second Team, but you can “never say never” and we have still got the extra stretchy 10 shirt available if he gets selected to make a balletic cameo later in the season.

Steve Brimacombe has largely retired from playing and Jimmy McB was sentenced to year upon year of hard labour in Oz a few years back. Gavin Stead is still collecting several hundred points a season in the colours of Huddersfield YMCA and as we all know Benny Greaves is winding down his playing career at Old Corsodylians.

Looking at our league position, the sides whose results have the most interest for us this weekend are Northern (1 below) and West Hartlepool, loitering with little intent to hang a monkey, one rung above. Northern pulled a tidy little win out of the hat last week at Driffield, although on recent form it looks like someone has taken the front wheel off the Driff bike, and no-one can ride a uni-cycle. Unfortunately for us, this is probably an excellent week for the Hartlepool side to be travelling over to the Wolds as Driffield might possibly be ripe for the taking. Although looking at West Hartlepool’s result at home to Horden last week, where they only won by seven against a side who are already covered in baby oil and taking pole sliding lessons, perhaps Wests aren’t fond of shooting ducks in a barrel.

The good news is that I think Pocklington will have too much lump and hump up front for Northern, so hopefully they will be sat right back down on their stool after their impudent victory last week.
Sat right above West Hartlepool are today’s visitors, so there are definite possibilities of us making a move or twain in the right direction if the boys do the right thing on the old greensward, but I will say no more on our tussle as will inevitably jinx the whole thing by its very mention. If Dinnington versus Sheffield is the match of the day, aside from our own tussle at Wagon Lane, then the prize for next most interesting fixture goes to the game between Wheatley Hills and Ilkley.

This sounds like a game between the Haves and the Have Nots; Lord Snooty versus the Bash Street Kids. I may be wrong, and Wheatley Hills may now indeed be the equivalent of Beverley Hills in Doncaster and the side may be peppered with Henrys…but then again perhaps not.
Although I like to mock the men from across Rombalds Moor, if I was wearing a hat it would be doffed in their general direction as I have to say well done to them for the five wins from seven they have purloined – although like Percy, Pock and Sheffield above them I believe they have benefitted from the “Horden effect” of a nice little five pointer and fifty points on the points difference.

Before I retire to my kennel, I best mention some moments on the social calendar…Firstly on 15th November, when Horden are our visitors, we will be holding a Country n Western themed evening here at Wagon Lane. Benji insists this is something tied in with Movember, but I know it is his excuse to wear his leather chaps and no underpants, again. Anyway, it’s only a fiver, so please make the effort. On Saturday 29th November we are hosting Wheatley Hills and will be prefacing that game with a BIG LUNCH, anticipating Xmas and all that. We have a comedian, the excellent Lea Roberts, and the whole hoo-har, organised by Dave Hemsley and Ric Marshall, will cost you £25.00. Should be a good un!

See you there or be rectangular.

Cheese.
Your Scoop.