Reserves Battle to 3 Points
Brize Stay 3rd Thanks to 3-2 Win
‘Twas a cold and damp day in West Oxfordshire and Brize Norton Reserves travelled to FC Ascott Reserves and possibly the worst pitch in the Witney & District. Brize welcomed back their Turkish centre back, who somehow managed to whinge his way back into the starting 11. David Anstee also made a rare appearance, so much so that it is said David Attenborough was there to witness the historical occasion. Daniel Simon also made the long trip up from Southampton.
The day didn't start well for Brize, who were greeted to Chipping Norton and the FC Ascott changing rooms with a curled-up shit, sitting proudly in the away team changing room, covered by only an empty coffee cup. We were unable to ascertain its origin, but Ciaran Clarke promised it wasn't him... we're sceptical.
FC Ascott had previously dumped Brize Reserves out of the Jack Busby Cup on this very pitch, and this time around it wasn't in much better shape, it was wet, slippy and hard to play football on. This might go some way to explaining the opening 15 minutes, which was in stark contrast to the flowing football played the previous week away to Chadlington. Never the less, Brize weathered the storm and should have been 1-0 on 18 minutes, a neat ball played out to Daniel Simon on the left side of the penalty area, and a sweet half volley across the keeper, only to be ruled out for a very dubious offside.
This sparked Brize into life, and after some end to end football Brize were 1-0 up, with Daniel Thomas having been fouled on the right-hand side, Chris Mayhew strolled over to ball and whipped a ball onto the centre circle, Richard Duffy scuppered through the bodies in the penalty area, like a ferret sniffing his next meal, and leapt off the ground to put his peanut on the end of the ball and put Brize up in what could be argued to be, against the run of play.
FC Ascott, realising that the turd in the changing room stunt hadn’t dampened the spirits of the Brize players, quickly looked to respond, and on 26 minutes drew level, a good attacking move down the left-hand side of the Brize defence wasn’t closed down quickly enough, and the ball was slotted into the area for an Ascott player to pass the ball into the gaping net. Up step Jason Hirshfield, often abused for his lack of running and seemingly unquenchable thirst to put his balls between other people’s legs (each to their own), lofted a delightful looking lob over the top of their keeper to make it 2-1 to Brize, celebrating only by reminding Richard Duffy how shit he is.
The home team just wouldn’t lie down, and just before half time, they were level again, a through ball that caught the Brize defence on the back foot, their striker raced through with only Steven Towle to beat, who came running out and slid across what was left of the turf, unfortunately their striker must have spotted the chunk of a man bearing down on him, and darted to the left and passed the ball into the empty net. 2-2 at half time and you could argue Brize rode their luck at times.
Manager Mark Carpenter is a bit of dick when his cherubs aren’t playing well, and spent the whole team talk moaning about various things, Ryan Chapman did try to inform him that it was 2-2, but he kept on. Some say that this changed the game, others would say nobody was listening and we just played better in the second half. Either way, Brize went out and started to play some nice football. With Daniel Simon and Lee Litton having lots of space in the centre of the park and using it well. It only took 10 minutes and Brize were back in front, the ball ricocheted off an Ascott defender, only to find Jason Hirshfield standing about 8 yards out, he calmly dispatched the ball into the back of the net faster than Amazon Prime can deliver Steven Towels arse wipes. This time there was no abusing Richard Duffy, he already knew of the abuse he is yet to suffer after being outscored by Jase.
Brize did come close to settling the nerves, Chris Mayhew was released down the right hand side, and as if he’d seen a 2 for 1 offer on hair products, sprinted down the right hand side leaving defenders in his wake, all he had to do was slot the ball across goal for the onrushing Richard Duffy, instead he sensed glory, the reality was very much different, the ball gliding 5 yards wide of the left hand post and out for a goal kick, denying Richard Duffy the opportunity to avoid some abuse.
The rest of the half was very much end to end. Chris Mayhew going close with a few efforts from 20 or so yards out but in the end it was a battling performance to see out the game for a 3-2 win and a much improved second half performance from everyone. Brize stay in 3rd place in the league thanks to a loss to Stonesfield, and creep ever closer to the top 2.
Up next is Wootton away. Richard Duffy is not playing to avoid all the above mentioned abuse, some say he is fed up with playing in Jason Hirshfields shadow.