Anti-Bullying Policy
Caldy RFC Anti-Bullying Policy
This policy is the product of consultation involving players, parents, coaches, administrators and other members of Caldy RFC
Guided by RFU Policy & Procedures for the Welfare of Young People in Rugby Union; LEA advice ‘Anti Bullying Policy’ 4/99 and other publications including those from KIDSCAPE.
Complemented by our Club Player’s Code, Coaches Code, Child Protection Policy, Health and Safety Policy and Equal Opportunities Policy.
We acknowledge that there is a potential for bullying to occur in our club, as it will do in other institutions or places wherever people of any age meet or group together.
ALL FORMS OF BULLYING ARE UNACCEPTABLE BY ANYONE ASSCOCIATED WITH OUR CLUB
Caldy RFC aims to:
Provide for all a friendly, safe, supportive environment free from any threat or fear
Work towards an ethos in our community where all forms of bullying are unacceptable and where the reporting of bullying is encouraged and expected by anyone
Reduce and eradicate wherever possible all instances of bullying
Respond effectively to all instances of reported bullying
Ensure all partners in association with the club are aware of this policy and that they fulfil their obligations to it
Meet any legal obligations which rest with the club
Objectives of this policy:
•All officials, employees, members, coaches and parents should have an understanding of what bullying is
•All officials, employees and coaches should know what the club policy is on bullying and follow it when bullying is reported
•All members and parents should know what the club policy on bullying is and what they should do if bullying arises
•As a club we take bullying seriously. Members and parents should be assured that they will be supported when bullying is reported
•Bullying will not be tolerated.
What is Bullying? – A working definition.
Bullying is the use of aggression with the intention of hurting another person. Bullying results in pain and distress to the victim.
There are many definitions of bullying but most have three things in common.
It is deliberately hurtful behaviour
It is repeated often over a period of time
It is difficult for those being bullied to stop the process
Bullying can take many forms including:
Physical:
e.g., pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching and any other forms of violence, threats or damage to property or theft, graffiti, gestures, unwanted physical contact
Verbal:
e.g., name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, persistent teasing, racial taunts, offensive comments of a sexual nature
Emotional:
e.g., excluding, tormenting, ridicule, humiliation
Picking on Points of Difference:
e.g., racism, sexism, physical features, family circumstance
Bullying is not the same as quarrelling – all children will fall out with each other from time to time.
Not all aggression is bullying, nor all name-calling. It becomes bullying when it is exercised through the use of power, rather than an exchange between equals.
We may see that bullying behaviours can be evident in many interactions between players, parent’s administrators and other members of Caldy RFC.
The competitive nature of rugby union makes it a potential environment for the bully. This may manifest itself in some of the following ways:
•A parent who pushes too hard;
•A coach who adopts a ‘win at all costs’ philosophy;
•A player who intimidates others;
•An official who is over officious.
Persistent bullying can result in:
Depression
Low self esteem
Shyness
Poor achievement
Isolation
Threatened or attempted suicide
Unchecked bullying also damages the bully who learns that he/she can get away with violence, aggression and threats and that this sort be behaviour gets them what they want.
Action Points:
1. What Players Can Do
When you are being bullied
Try to stay calm
Remind yourself that bullying is wrong. You do not deserve to be bullied
Don’t ignore it but keep safe
Take firm and confident action – tell the bully to ‘STOP’
Don’t pretend to be friends with the bully
Let an adult know – somehow – as soon as possible. Remember it does not matter how you do this – just do it the best way for you
You can help yourself by:
staying with a group of friends or people
avoiding areas where you feel unsafe
practising being firm and confident in front of the mirror or with friends
When you see or know other people being bullied
Remind yourself it is right to let an adult know and that adults expect you to do this
Remember it is only the bullies and those who support them who say it is wrong to let an adult know
Remember, by doing nothing you may be allowing the bully to continue
Help and support the victim – but Keep Safe
Let an adult know as soon as possible
Telephone Help Lines:
Childline: 0800 1111
Anti-Bullying Campaign: 020 7378 1446 757077
Kidscape: 0207 730 3300
2. What Parents Can Do
If you are worried that your son/daughter is being bullied, ask him/her directly about it.
Be aware of the signs and symptoms of bullying.
Children may:
Be frightened of getting to or from the Club
Change their usual route/habits
Not want to go to training or matches
Be unwilling to go to rugby
Feel ill in the mornings
Begin doing poorly in their school work
Come home regularly with clothes or equipment damaged
Come home hungry (bully has taken money)
Become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence
Become distressed and anxious, stop eating
Attempt or threaten suicide
Cry themselves to sleep; have nightmares
Have their possessions ‘go missing’
Ask for money or start stealing money (to pay the bully)
Continually ‘lose’ their pocket money
Refuse to say what’s wrong (too frightened of the bully)
Have unexplained bruises, scratches, cuts
Begin to bully other children or siblings
Become aggressive and unreasonable
Give improbable excuses to explain any of the above
If your child is being bullied
Stay calm – avoid over-reacting
Take it seriously and make the time to find out the facts
Talk calmly with your son/daughter. Let him/her know they are valued and important. Emphasise that you are going to support them
Don’t agree to keep it a secret
Reinforce that it is right to let people know
Talk with the school. You can contact one of the Persons in Charge of Child Protection – See notice board for names and numbers, Year Coach, Chairman of Youth/Mini’s, any member of the club. Ask what the club intends to do.
Give your son/daughter a chance to talk about his/her feelings about being bullied
Help your son/daughter practise strategies such as being confident, walking away and keeping safe
Keep a written diary of all incidents
Check that your child is not inviting the bully by some unacceptable or unpleasant behaviour or attitude
Stay in touch with the club; let them know if things improve as well as if problems continue
If your child is bullying
Children sometimes bully others for many reasons, including:
They don’t know it is wrong
They are copying other people
They have not thought through the reasons why bullying is not acceptable
As a way of coping with a difficult situation
As a means of getting their own way
As a response to abusive situations
If you learn that your son/daughter is bullying:
Try to stay calm
Talk calmly with your son/daughter. Let them know they are valued and important. Explain that what he/she is doing is unacceptable and makes other people unhappy
Ask if he/she has any ideas about why they bully and what they think might help him/her stop
Find out if there is something in particular which is troubling him or her and try to sort it out
Work out a way for him/her to make amends for the bullying
Set up some sort of reward for good behaviour
Set limits. Stop any show of aggression immediately and help him/her find other, non-aggressive ways of reacting
If he/she bullies when faced with certain situations, help him/her work out and practise alternative ways of behaving
Explain that getting away from a situation where he/she can feel themselves losing their temper, or things getting out of hand, is not weakness. It is a sensible way of ensuring that the situation does not get worse
Praise him/her when they do things well. Create opportunities for him/her to shine
Talk with the club. Make sure the year Coach and person in charge of child protection know. Explain that your son/daughter is making an effort to change his or her behaviour. Ask what ideas they have to help. Caldy RFC are committed to helping
Talk to the club officials about setting realistic goals for your son/daughter – don’t expect too much too soon – and about rewarding him or her when they achieve one of these set goals
Other children may deliberately provoke or bully, especially if they think the bully is trying to reform. Explain to your son/daughter that they may be taunted and provoked but that they should try not to respond aggressively. He/she should walk away quickly if they think someone is trying to pick a fight
Parents can help by controlling their own aggression and by making it clear that violence is always unacceptable.
If you need further help, you can contact:
The Chairmen of Juniors
The Chairmen of Mini’s
Persons in Charge of Child Protection.
Caldy RFC Director of Rugby
The RFU Helpline – 0208 831 6655
Child Protection in Sport Unit (CPSU), 3 Gilmour Close, Beaumont Leys, Leicester, LE4 1EZ. 0116 234 7278
Kidscape, 152 Buckingham Palace Road, London, SW1W 9TR. 0207 730 3300.
Action Points:
3. What Caldy RFC Can Do
The ethos of Caldy RFC emphasises the importance of treating everyone with care, respect and courtesy.
Caldy RFC is committed to taking all reported instances of bullying seriously. Reported instances will be investigated sensitively.
Caldy RFC is committed to stopping bullying and will persistently strive to achieve this when incidents are reported.
Guidance on dealing with incidents of bullying:
INITIAL RESPONSE
Caldy RFC Officials should
Take all reported instances of bullying seriously and deal with the matter sensitively
Remain calm when dealing with an incident
Take appropriate action to defuse situations if necessary
Make an assessment of the situation ensuring that the personal safety of all parties is the first consideration
Offer reassurance to the victim(s)
INVESTIGATING INCIDENTS
Club Officials should: -
Investigate the reported incident sensitively and thoroughly bearing these principles in mind
Reassurance to the victim is vital
Confirm and reinforce with all parties the expectation that it is right that incidents must be reported
Reinforcement that bullying can be stopped
DEALING WITH THE VICTIM
Interview the victim first and separately
Offer reassurance that bullying can be stopped and that school will persist with intervention until it does
Reinforce that it is right to let people know about bullying
Offer concrete help, advice and support in relation to the specific problem
Enlist their co-operation – and that of witnesses or friends – if it happens again it must be reported
Communicate with others as appropriate (e.g. Form Tutor, Year Head, Parents)
Check on progress directly with the victim at some time in the future
DEALING WITH THE BULLY
Interview the bully separately
Remain calm
Listen to his/her version of events
Reinforce that bullying is not acceptable
Offer advice to the bully to try to see the victim’s point of view
Reinforce that it is right for victims to the Club officials and others know when they are bullied
Be clear that Caldy RFC expects the bullying to stop. Seek a commitment to this end from the bully
Advise the bully you will be checking to ensure the bullying stops
Punish the bully, explaining carefully what the punishment is and why it is being given. In serious cases suspension or revocation of membership will be considered. Other preventative measures such as the signing of a behavioural contract may be considered.
Arrange for restoration of items damaged or taken
Place an expectation on the bully to acknowledge his/her bullying to the victim and encourage a genuine apology
Communicate with other parties as appropriate (e.g. parents, carers)
Make a written record – either a Form or letter to parents, carers
Check at sometime in the future that the bullying has stopped. Ensure the bully knows you have done this.
If possible the bully/bullies and the victim will be reconciled.
Suggested Action Points:
The following ideas are suggestions as to what Caldy RFC can do to implement and support this policy. The items marked with an asterisk (*) are especially recommended for consideration for early action.
* A special event (e.g. Anti-Bullying Meeting) to raise awareness
* Take action to eliminate unsafe areas of the club as reported by pupils
* A mentoring/counselling scheme involving older players
* A ‘Bully Box’ for reporting incidents
All members of the club community to set appropriate examples in all their relationships in the club
Maintain awareness of Bullying as an issue on a continuous basis
Have a named person(s) responsible for Anti-Bullying
An Anti-Bullying poster campaign
Promotion of positive behaviour
Create a page for our Web-site
Publicise availability of external counsellors
Include parents
MONITORING AND REVIEW
This policy will be kept under continuous review. It will also be reviewed annually by the persons in charge of child protection, together with other parties as appropriate. A question in the player questionnaire will be used to measure perceived rates of bullying. Other means will be used as appropriate.
This Code of Practice is effective from 7th September 2003. From that date all players, parents, coaches, administrators and other members or employees of Caldy RFC must have regard to it. They must not ignore it.
This policy is the product of consultation involving players, parents, coaches, administrators and other members of Caldy RFC
Guided by RFU Policy & Procedures for the Welfare of Young People in Rugby Union; LEA advice ‘Anti Bullying Policy’ 4/99 and other publications including those from KIDSCAPE.
Complemented by our Club Player’s Code, Coaches Code, Child Protection Policy, Health and Safety Policy and Equal Opportunities Policy.
We acknowledge that there is a potential for bullying to occur in our club, as it will do in other institutions or places wherever people of any age meet or group together.
ALL FORMS OF BULLYING ARE UNACCEPTABLE BY ANYONE ASSCOCIATED WITH OUR CLUB
Caldy RFC aims to:
Provide for all a friendly, safe, supportive environment free from any threat or fear
Work towards an ethos in our community where all forms of bullying are unacceptable and where the reporting of bullying is encouraged and expected by anyone
Reduce and eradicate wherever possible all instances of bullying
Respond effectively to all instances of reported bullying
Ensure all partners in association with the club are aware of this policy and that they fulfil their obligations to it
Meet any legal obligations which rest with the club
Objectives of this policy:
•All officials, employees, members, coaches and parents should have an understanding of what bullying is
•All officials, employees and coaches should know what the club policy is on bullying and follow it when bullying is reported
•All members and parents should know what the club policy on bullying is and what they should do if bullying arises
•As a club we take bullying seriously. Members and parents should be assured that they will be supported when bullying is reported
•Bullying will not be tolerated.
What is Bullying? – A working definition.
Bullying is the use of aggression with the intention of hurting another person. Bullying results in pain and distress to the victim.
There are many definitions of bullying but most have three things in common.
It is deliberately hurtful behaviour
It is repeated often over a period of time
It is difficult for those being bullied to stop the process
Bullying can take many forms including:
Physical:
e.g., pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching and any other forms of violence, threats or damage to property or theft, graffiti, gestures, unwanted physical contact
Verbal:
e.g., name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, persistent teasing, racial taunts, offensive comments of a sexual nature
Emotional:
e.g., excluding, tormenting, ridicule, humiliation
Picking on Points of Difference:
e.g., racism, sexism, physical features, family circumstance
Bullying is not the same as quarrelling – all children will fall out with each other from time to time.
Not all aggression is bullying, nor all name-calling. It becomes bullying when it is exercised through the use of power, rather than an exchange between equals.
We may see that bullying behaviours can be evident in many interactions between players, parent’s administrators and other members of Caldy RFC.
The competitive nature of rugby union makes it a potential environment for the bully. This may manifest itself in some of the following ways:
•A parent who pushes too hard;
•A coach who adopts a ‘win at all costs’ philosophy;
•A player who intimidates others;
•An official who is over officious.
Persistent bullying can result in:
Depression
Low self esteem
Shyness
Poor achievement
Isolation
Threatened or attempted suicide
Unchecked bullying also damages the bully who learns that he/she can get away with violence, aggression and threats and that this sort be behaviour gets them what they want.
Action Points:
1. What Players Can Do
When you are being bullied
Try to stay calm
Remind yourself that bullying is wrong. You do not deserve to be bullied
Don’t ignore it but keep safe
Take firm and confident action – tell the bully to ‘STOP’
Don’t pretend to be friends with the bully
Let an adult know – somehow – as soon as possible. Remember it does not matter how you do this – just do it the best way for you
You can help yourself by:
staying with a group of friends or people
avoiding areas where you feel unsafe
practising being firm and confident in front of the mirror or with friends
When you see or know other people being bullied
Remind yourself it is right to let an adult know and that adults expect you to do this
Remember it is only the bullies and those who support them who say it is wrong to let an adult know
Remember, by doing nothing you may be allowing the bully to continue
Help and support the victim – but Keep Safe
Let an adult know as soon as possible
Telephone Help Lines:
Childline: 0800 1111
Anti-Bullying Campaign: 020 7378 1446 757077
Kidscape: 0207 730 3300
2. What Parents Can Do
If you are worried that your son/daughter is being bullied, ask him/her directly about it.
Be aware of the signs and symptoms of bullying.
Children may:
Be frightened of getting to or from the Club
Change their usual route/habits
Not want to go to training or matches
Be unwilling to go to rugby
Feel ill in the mornings
Begin doing poorly in their school work
Come home regularly with clothes or equipment damaged
Come home hungry (bully has taken money)
Become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence
Become distressed and anxious, stop eating
Attempt or threaten suicide
Cry themselves to sleep; have nightmares
Have their possessions ‘go missing’
Ask for money or start stealing money (to pay the bully)
Continually ‘lose’ their pocket money
Refuse to say what’s wrong (too frightened of the bully)
Have unexplained bruises, scratches, cuts
Begin to bully other children or siblings
Become aggressive and unreasonable
Give improbable excuses to explain any of the above
If your child is being bullied
Stay calm – avoid over-reacting
Take it seriously and make the time to find out the facts
Talk calmly with your son/daughter. Let him/her know they are valued and important. Emphasise that you are going to support them
Don’t agree to keep it a secret
Reinforce that it is right to let people know
Talk with the school. You can contact one of the Persons in Charge of Child Protection – See notice board for names and numbers, Year Coach, Chairman of Youth/Mini’s, any member of the club. Ask what the club intends to do.
Give your son/daughter a chance to talk about his/her feelings about being bullied
Help your son/daughter practise strategies such as being confident, walking away and keeping safe
Keep a written diary of all incidents
Check that your child is not inviting the bully by some unacceptable or unpleasant behaviour or attitude
Stay in touch with the club; let them know if things improve as well as if problems continue
If your child is bullying
Children sometimes bully others for many reasons, including:
They don’t know it is wrong
They are copying other people
They have not thought through the reasons why bullying is not acceptable
As a way of coping with a difficult situation
As a means of getting their own way
As a response to abusive situations
If you learn that your son/daughter is bullying:
Try to stay calm
Talk calmly with your son/daughter. Let them know they are valued and important. Explain that what he/she is doing is unacceptable and makes other people unhappy
Ask if he/she has any ideas about why they bully and what they think might help him/her stop
Find out if there is something in particular which is troubling him or her and try to sort it out
Work out a way for him/her to make amends for the bullying
Set up some sort of reward for good behaviour
Set limits. Stop any show of aggression immediately and help him/her find other, non-aggressive ways of reacting
If he/she bullies when faced with certain situations, help him/her work out and practise alternative ways of behaving
Explain that getting away from a situation where he/she can feel themselves losing their temper, or things getting out of hand, is not weakness. It is a sensible way of ensuring that the situation does not get worse
Praise him/her when they do things well. Create opportunities for him/her to shine
Talk with the club. Make sure the year Coach and person in charge of child protection know. Explain that your son/daughter is making an effort to change his or her behaviour. Ask what ideas they have to help. Caldy RFC are committed to helping
Talk to the club officials about setting realistic goals for your son/daughter – don’t expect too much too soon – and about rewarding him or her when they achieve one of these set goals
Other children may deliberately provoke or bully, especially if they think the bully is trying to reform. Explain to your son/daughter that they may be taunted and provoked but that they should try not to respond aggressively. He/she should walk away quickly if they think someone is trying to pick a fight
Parents can help by controlling their own aggression and by making it clear that violence is always unacceptable.
If you need further help, you can contact:
The Chairmen of Juniors
The Chairmen of Mini’s
Persons in Charge of Child Protection.
Caldy RFC Director of Rugby
The RFU Helpline – 0208 831 6655
Child Protection in Sport Unit (CPSU), 3 Gilmour Close, Beaumont Leys, Leicester, LE4 1EZ. 0116 234 7278
Kidscape, 152 Buckingham Palace Road, London, SW1W 9TR. 0207 730 3300.
Action Points:
3. What Caldy RFC Can Do
The ethos of Caldy RFC emphasises the importance of treating everyone with care, respect and courtesy.
Caldy RFC is committed to taking all reported instances of bullying seriously. Reported instances will be investigated sensitively.
Caldy RFC is committed to stopping bullying and will persistently strive to achieve this when incidents are reported.
Guidance on dealing with incidents of bullying:
INITIAL RESPONSE
Caldy RFC Officials should
Take all reported instances of bullying seriously and deal with the matter sensitively
Remain calm when dealing with an incident
Take appropriate action to defuse situations if necessary
Make an assessment of the situation ensuring that the personal safety of all parties is the first consideration
Offer reassurance to the victim(s)
INVESTIGATING INCIDENTS
Club Officials should: -
Investigate the reported incident sensitively and thoroughly bearing these principles in mind
Reassurance to the victim is vital
Confirm and reinforce with all parties the expectation that it is right that incidents must be reported
Reinforcement that bullying can be stopped
DEALING WITH THE VICTIM
Interview the victim first and separately
Offer reassurance that bullying can be stopped and that school will persist with intervention until it does
Reinforce that it is right to let people know about bullying
Offer concrete help, advice and support in relation to the specific problem
Enlist their co-operation – and that of witnesses or friends – if it happens again it must be reported
Communicate with others as appropriate (e.g. Form Tutor, Year Head, Parents)
Check on progress directly with the victim at some time in the future
DEALING WITH THE BULLY
Interview the bully separately
Remain calm
Listen to his/her version of events
Reinforce that bullying is not acceptable
Offer advice to the bully to try to see the victim’s point of view
Reinforce that it is right for victims to the Club officials and others know when they are bullied
Be clear that Caldy RFC expects the bullying to stop. Seek a commitment to this end from the bully
Advise the bully you will be checking to ensure the bullying stops
Punish the bully, explaining carefully what the punishment is and why it is being given. In serious cases suspension or revocation of membership will be considered. Other preventative measures such as the signing of a behavioural contract may be considered.
Arrange for restoration of items damaged or taken
Place an expectation on the bully to acknowledge his/her bullying to the victim and encourage a genuine apology
Communicate with other parties as appropriate (e.g. parents, carers)
Make a written record – either a Form or letter to parents, carers
Check at sometime in the future that the bullying has stopped. Ensure the bully knows you have done this.
If possible the bully/bullies and the victim will be reconciled.
Suggested Action Points:
The following ideas are suggestions as to what Caldy RFC can do to implement and support this policy. The items marked with an asterisk (*) are especially recommended for consideration for early action.
* A special event (e.g. Anti-Bullying Meeting) to raise awareness
* Take action to eliminate unsafe areas of the club as reported by pupils
* A mentoring/counselling scheme involving older players
* A ‘Bully Box’ for reporting incidents
All members of the club community to set appropriate examples in all their relationships in the club
Maintain awareness of Bullying as an issue on a continuous basis
Have a named person(s) responsible for Anti-Bullying
An Anti-Bullying poster campaign
Promotion of positive behaviour
Create a page for our Web-site
Publicise availability of external counsellors
Include parents
MONITORING AND REVIEW
This policy will be kept under continuous review. It will also be reviewed annually by the persons in charge of child protection, together with other parties as appropriate. A question in the player questionnaire will be used to measure perceived rates of bullying. Other means will be used as appropriate.
This Code of Practice is effective from 7th September 2003. From that date all players, parents, coaches, administrators and other members or employees of Caldy RFC must have regard to it. They must not ignore it.
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