De la Salle made the short hop to Sale to take on newly promoted Trafford MV on a near perfect afternoon with bright sunshine a perfect pitch but with a strong cross wind. Della I recent weeks have not been at their best and were hoping for improvement in this game, the Della side looked strong with a solid bench to choose from, MV fielded a young side with plenty of beef and as they went through their pre match routine they looked a capable outfit. When the game started Della quickly went onto the offensive but were brought up short when the ref awarded a penalty at the breakdown, to give MV the chance to kick for field position, sadly from the Della point of view this penalty would be the first of many that would take the sting out of the Della attacks and give the home side plenty of ball to kick for field position , lineout and drive. Della were constantly forced back in the first twenty minutes and had to defend fiercely against some strong running from the MV forwards , and perhaps it was inevitable that MV would tie up the Della forwards and create space on the Della left wing for the opening try, the conversion was missed 5-0. Della began a fight back but minutes later were again punished with a penalty which was gladly taken to extend the MV lead 8-0 . Della came back at the home defence putting in some telling runs to get towards the try line but somehow the home defence managed to stifle the attacks if anything Della were trying to be too clever , running off the first phase , calling moves that clearly were not on, forcing passes when it was better to hold on , but eventually the Della backs put together a determined effort which stretched the home defence with both Della centres Jimmy Evans and Lee McCormick coming back against the grain to release winger Rob Foxen to score wide out on the right to close the gap , Chris Petrou just missed with the conversion 8-5..The Della lineout usually a source of possession for Della was not working at all well , and the scrum that has been Della`s most improved area of play was being put under pressure so much so that what has in recent times been a steady stream of ball was reduced to a trickle by the hard working MV forwards. There was some individual moments of class from the Della side with strong running in the pack from Steve Brooks and the backs were showing plenty of pace when they could get their hands on the ball. And just as Della were fighting their way back into the game , a deep kick down field from MV collected by fullback Ben Wheeler under pressure from MV , Ben tried to force a pass that was intercepted and the home sides player raced thirty metres to score under the posts with the extras added MV extended their lead 15-5. With half time approaching Della were digging deep to fight back into the game and were rewarded with a penalty that Chris Petrou dispatched to close the gap 15-8 to bring up half time .
The interval brought some plain speaking from the Della coaches and the players were left in no doubt as to what was required in the second half .
The second half needed to be a different story than the first if Della were to come out of this game with a win. The forwards although nor firing on all cylinders in the lineout were working well in the loose , with strong running from all eight and sterling work from the back row when Mv had the ball , the Della backs for their part were causing the MV defence plenty of problems with the ball now going down the line to wingers Sean Watson and Rob Foxen who were making the home defence work hard to contain the threat . Della had control of the game in the early part of the second half and were again rewarded with a penalty that Petrou put away to close the gap 15-11 . Della were now the dominant side but the Mv defence was holding firm and that allied to the amount of penalties at the breakdown was allowing MV to kick their selve`s out of danger . Della though would not be denied and were knocking on the door constantly and it was inevitable that the score would come and it did with the forwards taking the initiative driving the ball close up to the MV line for number eight Steve Brooks to force his way over for a try which Petrou converted to give Della the lead 15-18.. And as the game was in its last minutes Della had to withstand a last barrage from Mv who put the Della defence under pressure but the line held and managed to break back down field to see out the game and take a victory that for long periods of this game elusive, there were some moments of individual brilliance from Della but collectively I am sure they can`t play as badly again this season , commiserations to MV who put in a great team effort .
The Della man of the match was Steve brooks and for MV their scrum half had a fine game.
This weeks ask Perpetual Pete a question , again comes from Pete ( I now realise I let Perpetual motion Pete Massey do all my tackling ) Halsall, and Pete asks why is Della assistant steward Sue ( Long legs ) Yendall so grumpy is it because she is going through the menopause ? Well Pete it`s a bit of a delicate subject, but I will do my best, you are quite right Sue does fall into the age category that you would expect women to undergo the change, when oestrogen levels decline this happens around the time they stop menstruating and their hormone levels are all over the place. This leads to a variety of effects such as irrational behaviour, irritability, vaginal dryness and a reduced sex drive . So Pete taking all that into consideration plus the fact she comes into work at 6pm on a Sunday and we`re all pissed up and shouting the place is a shit tip, the staff under her control are all surly moody teenagers who have no respect for any one. Half the people in the place aren't members, the toilets are overflowing ,and its like a crack den in the gents when there is a function going on , and she walks in with adry itchy crotch, hot flushes, and if this wasn't enough she can barely see over the bar, you can understand why shy might be a tad tetchy.
An update on Kim Jong -Un , his wife has not been seen in public for seven months rumours persist that she is pregnant or murdered. But reports in the press stating that she is working in the Della massage parlour have been denied by the club ?
Rolls Royce taking note of the power of the Della brand, have contacted the club with a view to becoming the clubs main sponsor. However following allegations of corruption and bribery in gaining overseas contracts, Della decided to curtail discussions because it was felt that any hint of wrong doing was counter productive to Della`s whiter than white world wide image. Della have decided instead to go with Greasy Gertie`s Transport café as this years main sponsor. Rolls Royce claim total innocence, but mud sticks and Della who some of the worlds largest multinationals want to use as an example of Integrity and Steadfastness will choose its bed fellows carefully ?
This is not common knowledge but pregnancy is sexually transmitted ?And on that front Della`s unique medical professionals or DUMP have been called upon to rule in a midwifery conundrum with far reaching medical repercussions and have ruled , that you do not deliver a baby , you deliver a foetus ,which then becomes a baby ?
With the last remaining immigrants being evicted from the Calais Jungle, camp reporters and officials compared the repulsive ,squalid conditions that greeted them unlike anything they had encountered , the filth ,disease and decay can only be likened to modern day Wigan ?
Network rail who are leading the construction of the Ordsall chord rail link between Victoria and Piccadilly stations want to put in a spur line to Della to cash in on the growing number of tourists flocking tom take in the stunning natural beauty of Dellatopia ?
We at Della do not suffer fools but we make fools suffer ?
As autumn begins to turn to winter the native tribes who inhabit the banks of that holiest of rivers the might Irwell , await the annual kipper run, each home has a quota of twenty pairs of kippers and they can only be caught using the ancient Salford art of kipper tickling. And the Della lads will be showing their kipper tickling skills next Saturday ?
The construction of Della`s new airport is nearing completion and a competition has been launched to find a suitable name, along the lines of Charles DeGaulle, JFK ,John Lennon etc . The criteria for the name is that the person must have had a profound effect on the club to deserve such an honour. The front runners at the moment are in no particular order Peter ( Perpetual motion ) Massey, Brian H Stott, Ian Scott-Brown but for me the one that has a ring to it must be The Stephen Snoddy international Airport ?
Ex club steward and now magician Clint ( Oy vey ) Bird brought a guest into the club yesterday, his long lost cousin Emil Burnsinski Emil who has just moved to Glasgow from his home town of Gdansk following his ordination as a Rabbi, on arrival in the UK Emil shortened his name to a more user friendly Burns. During omy conversation with Emil it turned out that not only is he a Rabbi but he also writes poetry on learning this I offered him the post of Della Poet Laureate and now the Della can boast of their very own Rabbi Burns ?