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patrick tyson14 May 2017 - 06:45
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Fantastic night at Alberts
Well the dust has well and truly settled on the disappointment of missing out on promotion .But the Della lads having had a glimpse of success are more determined than ever to achieve that goal in the coming season .Rather than wallowing in a pit of self pity the lads have dusted them selves off and are showing that indomitable Salford spirit and determination to move forward. The coaching team have given the lads a couple of weeks respite but then it will be all hands on deck to become fitter for the challenge ahead. No one at the club expects the challenge to be easy with teams of the calibre of Aspatria, Wigton, Oldham and Bolton who will have their own aspirations and dreams . But Della has shown it can compete with the best and we believe we are in the ascendancy, with our level of fitness, self belief and that ingrained Salfordness that comes as standard at Della.
Friday evening saw the Della presentation evening at the exclusive Alberts restaurant, and the boys and girls did not disappoint with the lads turned out in their best bib and tucker and the ladies looking ravishing as usual. The night was a celebration of a fine season with awards a plenty and an excess of fun and frivolity as is the Della way . And the Della ladies were well pleased with having been voted as having the best bums in the league. It was a fantastic evening well run and attended and the club thanks Stacy and Jen for all the hard work and attention to detail that the two girls put in, well done girls.
God news for Wigan famine has been averted , due to the cleansing departments move to monthly bin collections and the streets piling up with refuse , there has been an explosion in the rat population. Now the ancient Wigan art of rat catching has come to the fore and rats are now freely available in various recipes but a firm favourite is rat pie with mushy peas ? On the plane back from the Isle of Man last weekend Della `s long time supporter North Korean President Kim Jong Un looked out of the window at the scene below and asked is that where we tested our latest Nuclear Bomb , to which the stewardess replied no Mr President that's WIgan ?
DNA profiling has confirmed that Sue ( Long legs ) Yendall is actually a woman . Once we had scraped off all the bacteria and half digested crisps from around her mouth we were able to take a saliva sample ?
The Della porn sections space probe Deep Entry is approaching one of the outer moons of Jupiter, Gannymead in its quest to find a life source that actually likes us ?
It is a fact that two people have actually urinated on the moons surface, but I can think of a couple of the Della young firm who with their weaponry could probably manage it from Earth ?
In 1923 a jockey won a race despite being dead. He had a heart attack halfway around the course but stayed in the saddle to win, The authorities on hearing this immediately docked Della ten points for the coming season ?
This weeks strange but true comes from one of Della`s founding fathers . Sigurd the Mighty a ninth century Norse Yarl of Orkney and a distant ancestor of the Butcher, was killed by an enemy he had beheaded several hours earlier . He had tied the mans head to his horses saddle but while riding home one of the mans protruding teeth grazed his leg . He died from a resulting infection. Should have knocked his teeth out first Sigurd son ?
This weeks ask Pete ( Perpetual Motion ) Massey comes from second team regular Gavin ( Who needs deodorant ) Clark, And he asks , can you take Marmite to Poland ? Well Gavin firstly could you stand a little further away please. That's a very good question , it is permitted under aviation law to take certain food stuffs abroad. However certain countries do have a restriction on specific items . The list is quite large actually but Poland do allow you to bring Marmite into their country but, strangely enough Marmite was the most confiscated food item at British airports due to the size of their smallest jar . But boffins at the acid rich yeast extract manufacturers overcame this by introducing a smaller 125g jar. So Gavin the simple answer is yes. Oh and please have a wash ?
Now with the euphoria of the season now over it`s time to reflect on the season gone by. Like a bunch of fools we have been congratulating ourselves on finishing runners up. When in actual fact all we were , were the best of the losers ?
The guest on this weeks Della Island discs was a mysterious masked figure who claimed that he was a member of a constituent body, whatever that may be ? He wouldn`t reveal his name or his roll but his choice of Records may have given us a hint. His choices 1 Telephone line / Electric Light Orchestra.
2 Call me / Blondie.
3 The Telephone Call / Kraftwerk.
The staff in the studio asked , who was that masked man, to which I replied I don't know, but I`m sure I detected a hint of a Wigan accent ?
with summer is almost upon us it`s almost time for the Della Kipper tickling championships , and following our recent trip to the Isle of Man the Manx Tynwald has agreed to send their national team to take part. They feel as the Kipper is a Manx staple that the island should be represented. This years championship will be held on the white water rapids of that holiest of rivers the might Irwell . The Della champion who has his own secret technique for tickling the elusive kipper Brad Pig is expected to be the favourite for the event and judging by the smiles on the faces of quite a number ladies at the presentation evening he was getting a quite a bit of practice ?
Friday evening saw the Della presentation evening at the exclusive Alberts restaurant, and the boys and girls did not disappoint with the lads turned out in their best bib and tucker and the ladies looking ravishing as usual. The night was a celebration of a fine season with awards a plenty and an excess of fun and frivolity as is the Della way . And the Della ladies were well pleased with having been voted as having the best bums in the league. It was a fantastic evening well run and attended and the club thanks Stacy and Jen for all the hard work and attention to detail that the two girls put in, well done girls.
God news for Wigan famine has been averted , due to the cleansing departments move to monthly bin collections and the streets piling up with refuse , there has been an explosion in the rat population. Now the ancient Wigan art of rat catching has come to the fore and rats are now freely available in various recipes but a firm favourite is rat pie with mushy peas ? On the plane back from the Isle of Man last weekend Della `s long time supporter North Korean President Kim Jong Un looked out of the window at the scene below and asked is that where we tested our latest Nuclear Bomb , to which the stewardess replied no Mr President that's WIgan ?
DNA profiling has confirmed that Sue ( Long legs ) Yendall is actually a woman . Once we had scraped off all the bacteria and half digested crisps from around her mouth we were able to take a saliva sample ?
The Della porn sections space probe Deep Entry is approaching one of the outer moons of Jupiter, Gannymead in its quest to find a life source that actually likes us ?
It is a fact that two people have actually urinated on the moons surface, but I can think of a couple of the Della young firm who with their weaponry could probably manage it from Earth ?
In 1923 a jockey won a race despite being dead. He had a heart attack halfway around the course but stayed in the saddle to win, The authorities on hearing this immediately docked Della ten points for the coming season ?
This weeks strange but true comes from one of Della`s founding fathers . Sigurd the Mighty a ninth century Norse Yarl of Orkney and a distant ancestor of the Butcher, was killed by an enemy he had beheaded several hours earlier . He had tied the mans head to his horses saddle but while riding home one of the mans protruding teeth grazed his leg . He died from a resulting infection. Should have knocked his teeth out first Sigurd son ?
This weeks ask Pete ( Perpetual Motion ) Massey comes from second team regular Gavin ( Who needs deodorant ) Clark, And he asks , can you take Marmite to Poland ? Well Gavin firstly could you stand a little further away please. That's a very good question , it is permitted under aviation law to take certain food stuffs abroad. However certain countries do have a restriction on specific items . The list is quite large actually but Poland do allow you to bring Marmite into their country but, strangely enough Marmite was the most confiscated food item at British airports due to the size of their smallest jar . But boffins at the acid rich yeast extract manufacturers overcame this by introducing a smaller 125g jar. So Gavin the simple answer is yes. Oh and please have a wash ?
Now with the euphoria of the season now over it`s time to reflect on the season gone by. Like a bunch of fools we have been congratulating ourselves on finishing runners up. When in actual fact all we were , were the best of the losers ?
The guest on this weeks Della Island discs was a mysterious masked figure who claimed that he was a member of a constituent body, whatever that may be ? He wouldn`t reveal his name or his roll but his choice of Records may have given us a hint. His choices 1 Telephone line / Electric Light Orchestra.
2 Call me / Blondie.
3 The Telephone Call / Kraftwerk.
The staff in the studio asked , who was that masked man, to which I replied I don't know, but I`m sure I detected a hint of a Wigan accent ?
with summer is almost upon us it`s almost time for the Della Kipper tickling championships , and following our recent trip to the Isle of Man the Manx Tynwald has agreed to send their national team to take part. They feel as the Kipper is a Manx staple that the island should be represented. This years championship will be held on the white water rapids of that holiest of rivers the might Irwell . The Della champion who has his own secret technique for tickling the elusive kipper Brad Pig is expected to be the favourite for the event and judging by the smiles on the faces of quite a number ladies at the presentation evening he was getting a quite a bit of practice ?
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