Back
Save the Krill
patrick tyson28 May 2016 - 08:10
Share via
Della whaling fleet returns to port
The Della whaling fleet has returned to its home port of Salford Quays following a successful season hunting those obese leviathans of the deep .The return to port was not without incident the fleet led by the flag ship Slayer of the Seas had to run the gauntlet of two blockades by those tree huggers, Green Peace,the first, at the mouth of the mighty Irwell and the second at Mode Wheel Locks , however captain of the fleet Mike Stobart brought home the entire fleet unscathed.There was much rejoicing at the quayside by the local Inuit population, as the holds of Slayer were unloaded,the ship was crammed full of whale meat and blubber and that glittering prize Ambergris? this bounty allied with the successful seal pup cull means that the Inuit freezers will be full this year, and there will be enough seal pup pelts to make sure all the population will have new fur boots and parkas?Della invited Green Peace to an open discussion at Media City to explain why they keep banging the drum about Save the Whale,while these voracious monsters consume up to a ton of Krill a day.Della take s the stance that Krill are gods creatures too,and have been persecuted by the Whales for far too long.So Della with its state of the art whaling fleet will defy the ban on whaling and attempt to clear the worlds oceans of this threat to the innocent Krill?So forget about save the Whale lets get together and Save the Krill. Tee shirts with this logo will be on sale on the Della web site,the first of major backers of the Della policy was the Japanese government?
A summer mystery is about to be unravelled, with the end of the rugby season where do all the rugby players go?they seemingly vanish into the metropolis until September.However this year radio tracking collars have been fitted to a number of players and early results are encouraging, the younger element appear to be to be making the migration to Monton, following the vast herds of young fertile females who congregate in the area looking for fresh meat to munch on?The young males will begin the annual rut this Friday night,while the data suggests that the older element appear to be migrating to higher ground on the Height in search of cheaper beer? Ben Fogle is following the migration for the BBC.
The Della singles night disco is going very well and is well supported,the disco is advertised with the logo ( A dog is not just for Friday night)
Some good news Rear end Ritas surgery went well and her internal organs are now back in place,and have finally healed and she hopes to be back in action soon?
Still on the medical front deep throat Debbie had to cancel her endoscopy appointment due to work commitments?
The club has had a complaint from the cleaners over the weekend ,because someone trimmed their moustache in the gents toilets! It stank like a seven year old cloth trampoline after three middle aged women had been bouncing for an hour and a half after a particularly heavy drinking session, with no underwear on?
Reports that Eric the Grunt Clarke bought a round last Sunday are vastly exaggerated i`m afraid.His ruse of coming in late, starting an argument,keep going to the lottery machine and talking about food, and how hard up he is have been worked out?
Petrous claims that he has had sex with a ballerina and eaten a cat are thought to be untrue?
News that social member Adele has signed a new record deal worth ninety million pounds hasn't stopped the girl naming the Della function room as the first date on her world tour,she will record a live album named Adella at the Della ?
David Hasselhoff has fallen on hard times and is working as a pot collector at the Della.Its no more Baywatch for him its the Glasswash from now on ?
Until recently it was thought that Trolls were just hideous backward creatures from Norse mythology, but recent research on thr banks of the River Douglas, in one of the overspill estates in Wigan ,grotesque skull bones were found,DNA tests prove they are Troll like and it turns out all Wiganers a descended from the interbreeding cave dwellers.Further analysis uncovered that the young were weaned on pulped up pie. With a specially crafted weaning bottle so they could curl there three fingers around it. Although they had a feeble intelect and communicated through a crude system of head butts the current mayor of Wigan beamed with pride and even stopped eating his pie long enough to say, even though I don't know what f`td do or what f`t`d say I`m immensely proud that trolls decendants could possibly be voted onto the Lancs RFU committee? Evidence of modern day cannibalism in the local junior school put a dampener on the findings, the mayors wife said as she dragged her knuckles across the cave floor while her tooth glistened in the moonlight?
This weeks correspondence has two questions, the first from Ryan Worthington and he asks , now that I have won the man of steel award this year will people still think I`m gay?Unfortunately yes Ryan but your parents love you?Second from too tall Jack he asks will I ever be any good. I think you already know the answer Jack lad, not as long as you`ve got a hole in your arse?
Two words that are never seen in the same sentence beastiality and sawdust?
Next seasons body bags have arrived and to lighten the mood we have had them made in the club colours of red and gold?
The Della mountaineering club is to attempt tp reach the summit of Rainsough Brow with out the use of oxygen?
Breaking news club steward Clint ( oy vey ) Bird has handed in his notice presumably to pursue his career as a magician and illusionist, he is known in show biz circles as Dellamo..There is a growing list of applicants for the stewards position , with such names as Louis Van Gaal, Donald Trump,Lewis Hamilton and David Cameron if he loses the referendum?
The incoming manager of Manchester United Jose Mourinho has paid a visit to the Della to meet the second team management and plans to model his new regime at Old Trafford on the the Della seconds model?
Mean while club archeologist adventurer Indidella Jones is confident of finding both the Holy Grail and the Spear of Destiny and he is also confident once the club is in possession of these artifacts we will be able to stave off any further sanctions from the Lancs Rfu?
With it being bank holiday weekend the thermal springs and spa in Weaste are expecting an in flux of visitors,and with its proximity to both Ordsall and Eccles,and the well known uncouth habits of the population of both these boroughs extra staff have been deployed with filter nets?
The new posts are still in a horizontal position at the club the Della sexual heath dept have failed miserably in this regard it looks as though we will have to come up with another solution to this lack of erection?
And i would urge my reader to sign the on line petition Save the Krill.
A summer mystery is about to be unravelled, with the end of the rugby season where do all the rugby players go?they seemingly vanish into the metropolis until September.However this year radio tracking collars have been fitted to a number of players and early results are encouraging, the younger element appear to be to be making the migration to Monton, following the vast herds of young fertile females who congregate in the area looking for fresh meat to munch on?The young males will begin the annual rut this Friday night,while the data suggests that the older element appear to be migrating to higher ground on the Height in search of cheaper beer? Ben Fogle is following the migration for the BBC.
The Della singles night disco is going very well and is well supported,the disco is advertised with the logo ( A dog is not just for Friday night)
Some good news Rear end Ritas surgery went well and her internal organs are now back in place,and have finally healed and she hopes to be back in action soon?
Still on the medical front deep throat Debbie had to cancel her endoscopy appointment due to work commitments?
The club has had a complaint from the cleaners over the weekend ,because someone trimmed their moustache in the gents toilets! It stank like a seven year old cloth trampoline after three middle aged women had been bouncing for an hour and a half after a particularly heavy drinking session, with no underwear on?
Reports that Eric the Grunt Clarke bought a round last Sunday are vastly exaggerated i`m afraid.His ruse of coming in late, starting an argument,keep going to the lottery machine and talking about food, and how hard up he is have been worked out?
Petrous claims that he has had sex with a ballerina and eaten a cat are thought to be untrue?
News that social member Adele has signed a new record deal worth ninety million pounds hasn't stopped the girl naming the Della function room as the first date on her world tour,she will record a live album named Adella at the Della ?
David Hasselhoff has fallen on hard times and is working as a pot collector at the Della.Its no more Baywatch for him its the Glasswash from now on ?
Until recently it was thought that Trolls were just hideous backward creatures from Norse mythology, but recent research on thr banks of the River Douglas, in one of the overspill estates in Wigan ,grotesque skull bones were found,DNA tests prove they are Troll like and it turns out all Wiganers a descended from the interbreeding cave dwellers.Further analysis uncovered that the young were weaned on pulped up pie. With a specially crafted weaning bottle so they could curl there three fingers around it. Although they had a feeble intelect and communicated through a crude system of head butts the current mayor of Wigan beamed with pride and even stopped eating his pie long enough to say, even though I don't know what f`td do or what f`t`d say I`m immensely proud that trolls decendants could possibly be voted onto the Lancs RFU committee? Evidence of modern day cannibalism in the local junior school put a dampener on the findings, the mayors wife said as she dragged her knuckles across the cave floor while her tooth glistened in the moonlight?
This weeks correspondence has two questions, the first from Ryan Worthington and he asks , now that I have won the man of steel award this year will people still think I`m gay?Unfortunately yes Ryan but your parents love you?Second from too tall Jack he asks will I ever be any good. I think you already know the answer Jack lad, not as long as you`ve got a hole in your arse?
Two words that are never seen in the same sentence beastiality and sawdust?
Next seasons body bags have arrived and to lighten the mood we have had them made in the club colours of red and gold?
The Della mountaineering club is to attempt tp reach the summit of Rainsough Brow with out the use of oxygen?
Breaking news club steward Clint ( oy vey ) Bird has handed in his notice presumably to pursue his career as a magician and illusionist, he is known in show biz circles as Dellamo..There is a growing list of applicants for the stewards position , with such names as Louis Van Gaal, Donald Trump,Lewis Hamilton and David Cameron if he loses the referendum?
The incoming manager of Manchester United Jose Mourinho has paid a visit to the Della to meet the second team management and plans to model his new regime at Old Trafford on the the Della seconds model?
Mean while club archeologist adventurer Indidella Jones is confident of finding both the Holy Grail and the Spear of Destiny and he is also confident once the club is in possession of these artifacts we will be able to stave off any further sanctions from the Lancs Rfu?
With it being bank holiday weekend the thermal springs and spa in Weaste are expecting an in flux of visitors,and with its proximity to both Ordsall and Eccles,and the well known uncouth habits of the population of both these boroughs extra staff have been deployed with filter nets?
The new posts are still in a horizontal position at the club the Della sexual heath dept have failed miserably in this regard it looks as though we will have to come up with another solution to this lack of erection?
And i would urge my reader to sign the on line petition Save the Krill.
Further reading