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Sour grapes can`t take shine off victory

Sour grapes can`t take shine off victory

patrick tyson2 Oct 2016 - 08:19
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De la Salle 29 Carlisle 21

Carlisle were the latest visitors to Della and they came with a much vaunted reputation, Della were missing two key men in the Watson sisters having chosen the sun and sand of Miami over the autumn glories of Lancaster Road. But Della as always rejigged the side and it still looked pretty strong especially the back division that was full of pace and guile . The forward pack contained enough mental toughness and belligerence to give any opposing set of forwards something to think about , For their part Carlisle came with a young side and their forwards looked workman like in the warm up but their back line looked as though they did not have the pace to match their Salford counterparts and as the game progressed it would be the difference in the backs that would bring victory The opening exchanges as you would expect were fierce from the two packs with Carlisle just edging the early contest, and with the first scrum awarded to Della it would be interesting if they could match Carlisle in this area, they couldn't the visitors pushed them off the ball , now you could be fooled into thinking that the visitors now had control of a key part of the game , but until the last ten minutes of the game there were only four scrums so this avenue of ball winning was snuffed out to Carlisle . Della withstood the early onslaught with some solid defending and began to steadily progress downfield , working off a solid lineout with Ryan Worthington and Bryn Hughes proving quality ball for Della to work with and ity was off a line out thirty metres out on the Della right that the opening score would come the ball moved swiftly down the line with the Della pack diving hard into the Carlisle forwards , then the young Della half backs Adam Graham and Jay Boyd took over bring the back line in on a planned move that saw captain Lee McCormick break the defensive line and put full back Joe White in the clear with a run to the posts to score and shock the visitors, second row Chris Petrou added the extras 7-0. From the restart Della were right back to work with the forwards winning a penalty thirty yards out that Petrou dispatched with ease to extend the lead and give Carlisle plenty to think about. To their credit the visitors came came back at Della with renewed vigour and when Della had a man sent to the bin for a technical offence the visitors took full advantage of the extra man and pulled the home defence out of line for their left winger to score under the posts and close the gap 10-7.Della though didn't alter their attacking intentions during this period and following great work form the pack winger Tom Halsall made room for himself far out on the right and scored to extend the lead with Petrou adding the extras 17 - 7. Carlisle were making the extra man tell in this period and managed to put the Della line under pressure with driving mauls from their pack and when the they grounded the ball it looked as though it was short of the line and held up but the ref after much deliberation awarded a try which was converted 17-14.
During half time the Della players were urged to remain cool in the face of some provocative tactics from the visitors , and although the Della lads during the first half kept it under control the potential for disaster was ever present and the constant complaining to the referee was having an adverse effect on the game with Della suffering a larger number of penalties than was normal mainly for chatting back to the official. However we were in front with ever thing to play for ,
With Della back to full strength the second half started with full bloodied confrontation from both sides but with Della just edging the forward exchanges but it was the pace in the Della backline that was causing the visitors defence problems and when fullback Joe White came onto the ball at full pace he broke the first line of defence and as they scrambled to try to get to him he put in a grubber under the posts and raced in to touch down again Petrou added the extras 24- 14. Now with the game entering its last fifteen minutes and up to this point there had only been four scrums in the entire game, Carisle were attacking the Della try line and the ref awarded a Carlisle scrum . the scrum was reset five times and on the fifth time the ref sent a Della player to the bin on the restart as Carlisle were driving the scrum towards the try line a Della foot in the scrumm earned another yellow card and a penalty try 24-21. Now Della were in trouble and from looking in a strong position to win the game they now had to defend for their lives if they wanted anything from this game.But if you are in the trenches you would want these Salford lads with you what they did during the next ten minutes was immense they withstood every thing that Carlisle could throw at them and matched the with attacking intent to snuff out any chance of the visitors taking the lead. and with just minutes left on the clock and restored to full strength Della talisman John McAttee was added to the mix and with a moment of magic he made time stand still with sleight of hand he mesmerised the Carlisle defence and put Paul Berry into a gap that wasn't there and Paul took full advantage with an unstoppable run to the line to give Della the win and a bonus point 29-21.My father who was at the game, his eyes were brimming with tears at the outcome as I guided my father into my mothers arms? And its days like this that fill me with joy and make me want to live like a badger ?
This was a supreme performance from the Della lads and a testament to open rugby with great ball handling skills, a point made by the lack of handling errors and scrums. One thing that any side visiting Della should be made aware of , this is Salford and we don't do being bullied or made victims of, so if its your intention to try these kind of tactics beware . The Della man of the match was Joe White who was immense in this game, and for Carlisle the scrum half had a fine game, After the match the totally innocent Carlisle number three engaged the referee in conversation bemoaning the Della style of play claiming it was unfair and his team should have won and I`m sure I heard him say and I quote , I tend to cry a lot?
Post match in the club house there was a wedding reception in progress with the bride and groom both from Duchy, one of the bar staff repoted to the committee that the bride had squirted into a funnel , a ritual that is normal practice on that estate apparently. And if that wasn't enough Della regular Terry the Tash over heard the new bar manager discussing about purchasing new bar stools and sending for a sample ,Terry retuned ten minutes later with a jam jar full of poo, and said I`ve brought my stool sample ?
Hollywood beckons for Eric ( The grunt ) Clarke he has been head hunted by MGM for a lead role in the film version of The Walking Dead. As soon as we spotted him dragging his lifeless torso down Lancaster road we knew we had to have him, said a company insider, we couldn't believe he was still alive , the white skin pale complexion along with flaky skin ,,are ideal, the only stumbling block seems to be his appetite, some of the shoots take up three minutes which interferes with the Grunts feeding ritual. His long term life sponsor Pat ( The Butcher ) Tyson added obviously I`m happy for him the experience may help him grasp the concept of buying a round now and then. The cast arrived in Manchester ahead of their end of world shoot in Wigan, but had to wait until the CGI boffins made Wigan look less bleak and barren. Della chairman John ( I don't give a fxxk about rugby )Grant said we expect this will cost Della a five point deduction from the RFU ?
Angola has the worst infant mortality rate in the world a fact which until recently the Lancs RFU were unaware off on hearing the news Della were deducted ten points suspended for two years ?
A further ten points was deducted when the IRB learned that the Jakobshavn Isbrae glacier in Iceland is shrinking at an alarming rate a spokesman said it was bad enough Della meddling in the Cosmos but now their crematorium is contributing to global warming ?
I have agreed with league secretary Ian Scott Brown that I will text him the results of games asap after the game has ended. Does this mean we are having consensual text ?
Spangles were introduced in 1950s and went out of production in the 1980s before being briefly reintroduced in 1995 only in two flavours Orange and Blackcurrant, but those Lemons at Lancs loved a Raspberry and deducted Della five points ?
After her latest breast enhancement surgery Della barmaid Katy ( I need a warm man on my chest )has encountered problems with her implants , one breast is larger than the other, she is now sueing surgical company Boobs R Us , and has issued a writ entitled A Tale of Two Titties ?
This weeks ask Pete ( Perpetual motion ) Massey a question comes from Pete ( I was lucky to get a draw in our boxing match with perpetual ) Halsall, Pete asks , Do cannibals not eat clowns because they taste funny? Well Pete its quite a complicated answer , in the UK its illegal to consume any form of human flesh, but on rare occasions such as ship wrecks, plane crashes when cannibalism has taken place ,its over looked as mans instinct to survive takes over. However there are no laws regarding cannibalism in the USA, except in Idaho so if you wanted you could eat a clown in the Us but he would have to agree to it and give his written consent before you cooked him, and he would have to have died from natural causes, and that means he would more than likely be old . So the chances of finding a practising old clown willing to be eaten must be quite rare, If you did however we would suggest that the flesh was cooked within 24 hours of death, depending on the cause of death a salad garnish would add flavour and stop it tasting funny ?
As every one knows Deers don`t have gall bladders , knowing such imformation went a long way in Della securing the only league and cup double in the clubs history in 2004 ?
It was thought that the oldest wheel found in the UK to date was at Flag Fen in Cambridgeshire , however a team from Oxford Uni have now verified that the wheel on Jimmy Collins line marker is much older ?
Driving home yesyerday I past a Mercedes parts truck on the motorway , the logo read, Parts you can trust?
DLS are having to take on extra staff to deal with the amount of phone calls from people wanting a new sofa for Christmas on 0% finance ?
The Della nutritionist and rice specialist Prof Paddy Field, puts his interest in the staple down to his extensive research into the Irish potato famine, he said this was a most traumatic time in the countries history with the potato crop failing and people having to survive on chips and crisps? Paddy has spent his entire career studying rice and the Uncle Ben`s company so taken with the company and its push to bring rice to the masses Paddy has written a biography of its founder the book is titled Of Rice and Ben ?
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