Della travelled to Wigton on a perfect winters day cold but with bright sunshine very little wind and an almost perfect playing surface. Della travelled with a strong squad and were in confident mood , they arrived in plenty of time for the pre match warm and everything seemed to be as normal. And that's the only time in the whole afternoon that as a della supporter you could say that, from the kick off the pace and intensity of the Wigton side took Della by surprise, within minutes the home side had pushed Della deep into their own half and opened the scoring with their first try, they went on to score a further four tries in the first half, to shock Della who could only reply with a single Paul Berry score to give the Dells some little hope.
The second half was a little better from the Della but not much whether this was because Wigton had taken their collective feet of the gas or Della had found some endeavour it was hard to say but Della still could not find a way to cross the line yet Wigton did with a further try , conversion and a penalty to give a final score of 42-7. A drubbing , a hammering yes and many more quotes but what it actually was , was a rugby lesson Wigton not only out fought Della they out thought Della, and the did a number on the Salford lads which has not been seen for many years the last team to do it being Heaton Moor. Della came back from that sorry experience and regrouped and hopefully they will be able to lick their wounds and gather up whats left of their pride and do the same again.
All credit to Wigton for the way they played they were well drilled and coached and had the desire to put it all together Della were a sorry comparison to the team that started the season so well and it may take some time for these particular wounds to heal. For WIgton their two half backs were outstanding and for Della the only two players who came out of this game were Paul berry and Tom Halsall. So now for Della its back to the drawing board regroup and try to find a way to regain some form and pride. And on behalf of De la Salle I would like to thank the Wigton club for its hospitality it was outstanding .
This weeks ask (Perpetual Pete) Massey , comes from an anonymous source and it asks , why in this day and age can`t you make innocent comedic comments on a private blog without being threatened with censorship, sanctions or worse ? Well Mr Anonymous that is a very good question, let me have a go at answering it , but first let me quote the human rights act 1998 . Freedom of speech is is the right to articulate one`s opinions and idea`s without fear of government retaliation or censorship. So to further clarify if someone writes a spoof report it is their opinion and people taking offence have the right to either accept it as an attempt at black humour or retaliate with their own spoof report which to me personally would be welcome . So any body or committee who takes it upon themselves to take offence or threaten action may find them selves acting outside the law. But such bodies are usually so insular and have a much higher opinion of their own self importance that they lose touch with reality and cant see the pathetic way they are behaving. To paraphrase a modern idiom , GET A LIFE ,I hope that answers your question and reaffirms our mindset?
Disaster for one of our own , it transpires our own Pat ( The butcher ) Tyson is an illegal immigrant? This startling news was uncovered when Mrs Butcher was delving into the Tyson family tree and sent off DNA samples to the National Dyslexic Association for analysis to confirm the family lineage and ancestry. Pat`s results and genetic profile were a devastating blow it turns out he`s a mongrel, molecular finger printing confirmed his make up as follows, part Far East, part Middle East, part Iberian Peninsula, part Scandinavian mostly Paddy and most alarmingly only 1% British. Club officials have been consoling him as an extradition order was issued for his immediate deportation under Salfords new immigration law. And it gets worse in a detailed breakdown of the microscopic sampling also confirmed there is a trace element of Wigan in him. Pat is currently on suicide watch as he didn't know where f/t go or what f/t do. The mayor of Wigan finished gnawing on his own foot and said , well bugger me , what a ta do, that's reet grand is that, he will have to buy a ferret now?
It appears that the Della Offal Emporium is becoming world famous .The Fleetwood weather pundit allegedly stated the tripe that comes out of Della is world renowned ?
And talking of offal two of the girls from the tripe department have had to be transferred to other duties after two regular customers complained that the girls excessive dandruff and oily scalps had left serious stains on the front of the customers trousers ?
Cardiff city council ordered an artificial Christmas tree fro China, at forty metres it supposed to eclipse the Angel of the North and Rio`s Christ the Redeemer. However when the tree was delivered it was forty foot high not the expected jaw dropping forty metre`s. A spokesman for the Welsh RFU contacted Lancs to complain stating that this cock up has Della written all over it . Lancs responded with a ten point deduction for the Salford club ?
After a recent rugby function at the club the staff complained about the mess, assistant steward Sue ( Long legs ) Yendall said its as messy as cleaning up after a porn film shoot ?
Della`s festive porn industry have announced the release of stocking fillers for this Yuletide they include the film classics, O Cum on ye faithful. Santa`s sac is now empty. Slippery Yule log and Mary isn`t a virgin anymore ?Also available this year the festive female aid . The Rampant Reindeer ?
The issuing of Tena lady panties to the Della female bar staff has apparently had little effect, if the complaints by members is to be believed. In a letter to the committee it is claimed that an ammonia like odour and increasingly large puddles of an unknown liquid are present behind the bar. The committee has ordered all female bar staff to complete a course of pelvic floor exercise classes. The class tutrt stated that its a big and messy job and that some of the pelvic floors are beyond repair, but he is willing to give it a go ?
Della`s space programme have been asked to send a mercy mission to thr international space station by NASA. Space correspondent and Master of hounds Lee ( Rip em to pieces ) Halsall is to head the venture , it`s thought scientists want to conduct experiments on pure Salfordians in the vacuum of space, into what makes us so tough , resilient and impervious to pain. The results are being keenly anticipated by the entire sporting world. Club secretary Steve ( Body of a middle aged woman )Parrott was informed by a jealous Lancs RFU committee we will be deducted five points for taking part in these unauthorised experiments ?
Thoughts for the Day AS one former professional football coach once said pull down your shorts I am going to reward you ?
You only live once but if you do it right once is enough?
And don't die wondering ,how do you weigh a jellyfish ?
Della have issued a statement to the effect that the club refute any allegations that Fidel Castro`s death during the visit to Cuba of Pete ( Does everyone know I played for GB ) Halsall and brother Lee ( Rip em to pieces ) Halsall had any thing at all to do with Della. Lancs however were having none of it and spokesman Brian H Stott said this whole incident stinks of Della involvement and the fact that those two reprobates were on the island is enough for Lancs to deduct a further five points ?
Further news from the Carribean, Prince Harry on a visit to St Vincent was taken to an aviary to see a talking parrot, but when the Prince tried to engage the bird in conversation it kept its beak tightly closed and refused to speak. The West Indies RFU sent a e mail to Lancs stating we know Della have members in in the Carribean at the moment, and this parrots breaking of all the rules of royal protocol has Della involvement written all over it. Lancs responded with charging Della with a 5.12 and banned Pete and Lee until 2018 ?
Cadburys have announced bumper profits and to celebrate have launched a new advertising campaign with the song , It`s been a good year for the rose`s ?