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NEW SHIRTS FOR THE SUMMER SEASON

By Timothy Clark, Sunday April 1

I sheepishly mentioned to the present Mrs Clark that it would be nice if Evolution FC had a new and distinctive shirt for the summer season. The question of getting a new kit has been up in the air for a while. Much to my surprise and without telling me she has knitted seven shirts made of lambswool similar to the attached picture. Not only that but she has knitted seven pairs of shorts in the same material. Talk about mutton parading as lamb.

They have two advantages. Not only are they environmentally friendly but they will keep you warm on chilly summer evenings. Lambswool has always enjoyed a well-deserved reputation for being resilient, warm, chic and practical. Just imagine wearing a fabric that feels as light as dandelion seeds and as soft as eiderdown. You will definitely feel like wolves in sheeps clothing.

Testing has revealed that it outlasts other natural materials, even cotton - indeed while some cotton garments started to deteriorate after just 60 washes, similar lambswool clothing was able to withstand up to 700 washes before exhibiting signs of damage. Result.

Lambswool can be worn all year round - not just in winter, as you might think. For whilst it will keep you snug and cosy when the icy winds doth blow, this multipurpose natural fabric will also keep moisture away from your body during warmer spells, ensuring that you remain cool at all times.

The new shirt has been specifically designed to replicate the first ever shirts worn by clubs, exactly 100 years ago. The vintage shirt is due to be displayed for the first time on Monday 16 April for Evolution's opening game of the season. You might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb.

These shirts should make Evolution FC unique baaaaar none. Talk about lambs to the slaughter.

NOTE ADDED 12:01 APRIL FOOLS DAY. Even though advertised on FACEBOOK the response was minimal for this April Fool prank. In fact it was zilch. And all that planning!!!

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