FC Nomads

By Jack Costar

Tomorrows fixture sees the mighty Nomads take on Sam's United, of the Banbury leagues, in round 3 of the John Fathers Oxfordshire Junior Shield. Little are known about the opponents except for they play within the Banbury district and Lord Jersey F.A. They currently reside 5th place (out of 11) in the 3rd tier (out of 4) of the leagues with more than respectable stats of; Played 6, Won 4, Drawn 1, Lost 1. Cup games across different affiliations are normally hard results to predict, and lower league Banbury sides are normally push overs for the higher league Witney and District teams, although rumour has it Sam's United was a team put together for the purpose of cup competitions. That's enough of the serious stuff!

Last weeks absentees Jack 'Mercurial' Costar and Nick 'taking Gran out' Brown, return to the fray after taking last week off to participate in general merriment and shooting concoctions of baby food and booze (Babybooze?!) in sunny Stevenage. Although squad policy usually dictates that players whom miss previous weeks are often subject to the bench (Just ask Michael 'Splinter bum' Cropper), so it will be interesting to see whether, gaffer, Billy 'Hobbit' Bircher risks putting an XI out minus his inspirational centre midfielder. Also possible returnees are Jonno 'The Pace' Woodward and Dale 'There-is-no-' Rainbow.

After last weeks spectacular penalty save Dave 'Peno' McCue looks certain to retain his position between the sticks this week, although there have been calls for him to be moved to the opposite end of the field after a string of solid goal scoring performances from the big man at MNF (Monday Night Football) at the ATP. Fellow MNF'ers Nick 'Jew Bear' Brown, Michael 'Lost-down-a' Hole, and Matty 'Broken Man' Sykes, look to line-up at the back with Dale 'Gold-at-the-end-of-the-' Rainbow completing the four.

With the prospect of a full midfield to choose from, everyone hopes that Jack 'Zizou' Costar takes control of marshalling the centre of the park with Michael 'Not quite as good' Cropper, his trusty deputy. With the wide positions being filled by any of; Kristen 'Golfwear' Johnson, Josh 'The Striker' Truby or Chris 'Shit-Croppers-playing' Laurence.

The only cert up-top would appear to be Steve 'One-in-a-million' Bircher. With possible partners being anyone from Chris 'Shit-Croppers-playing' Laurence, Chris 'Probably-won't-be-there' Owen, Luther 'Luigi' Blissett, or Mark 'Bollocker' Thomas.

Not forgetting the squad players/utility men that are Dan 'Higgins' Porter, Justin 'PUT YOUR ADVERT HERE' Elford, Jonno 'Tree' Woodward, and Croppers "Mate", who could all fill in around the park, as and where needed.