FC Nomads

By Jack Costar

Nomads enter tomorrows game after picking up a meagre 3 points out of a possible 12, sitting in a respectable 6th position in the league. Their opponents are to be the high-flying West Witney who sit 2nd amongst Chippy Swifts and Brize respectively, which appear to be the break away group challenging for the title. Nomads will also be missing a few players, and Nick, which may make the game even more of a challenge. The most noticeable absentee will be the in-form talisman and maestro that is Jack 'Doggy Runner' Costar, whom is away doing charity work for MINOR (Midfielders In Need Of a Rest) cause.

Although it may appear Nomads could field a weakened team, there are possible notable returnees that would be welcomed back into the fold, such as Michael 'Do as I say, Boy' Cropper, Chris 'The Lad (Hey, Syksey?!)' Owen, Dale 'somewhere-over-the-' Rainbow, and also one of the mythical species known as 'Cropper's Mates' might appear!

The line-up as ever is as mysterious as Fatima Whitbread's left testicle (topical!) but one would imagine the twinkle-toed Dave 'Moves Like Jagger' McCue will be a cert to start (as lets be honest, who else??). With Michael 'Plugging-a-' Hole lynch pinning the defence flanked by Matthew 'Shanky Shoulder Solider' Sykes', and Dale 'somewhere-over-the-' Rainbow.

The midfield has more possible combinations than the safe Nick uses to lock away his left foot (and right whilst we're at it)! The wings could included either of Josh 'I owe Jack a pint for that gift of an opportunity to score last week' Truby, Kristen 'Who?!' Johnson, Dan 'Higgins' Porter, or Justin 'advertising for a nickname' Elford. The centre of the park may see Mario 'Satnav' Blissett regain his position from last week with Michael 'f**cked Bum' Cropper slotting in between his cheeks....I mean side! A return of Daz 'Ogre' Craig may also be on the cards.

And up-top, could see Steve 'Usain' Bircher pair-up with either Chris 'Don't do tap-ins' Laurence, Chris 'Please turn-up?' Owen, or even Mark 'Example' Thomas.

What ever the line-up, good luck lads!