A desolate downtrodden figure stares into his post-match bacon sandwich. Something is not quite right? Yes the bread roll is fresh enough and the free range bacon certainly tastes like it’s had a good enough life out on the prairie.
All the fundamental components to this sandwich are correct so what’s missing? Perhaps the PIG in question had a good enough life, you know right environment, right feed. Yet out in the hinterland of the free range it found itself lost and estranged
“Would you like a consolatory cup of tea” sparks up the wife, battle hardened and fatigued to find herself married to a middle-aged husband that dresses top to tail in a shell suit for the entire 48hrs of the weekend.
“Do not mention Cup in this house again” I whisper softly under breath whilst trying to look like Genghis Khan in HRBYFC’s finest nylon.
Witnessing both Saturday and Sunday teams go out of trophy competitions in two incredibly tense encounters, today by penalties, has left me in the kind of mood that needs 24hr supervision.
I continue to gaze at the food, foraging deeper for an explanation. Bingo, have it! The sauce (HP) for those in the know, looked like it had been purposely watered down. The outrage! The injustice of it all! I was hesitant at buying the plastic bottle, I normally opt for glass but succumbed to a 25% discount.
Never again! This isn’t bloody HP – this isn’t bloody HP. Those Mars bars are too small – England are rubbish – Yorkie bars didn’t just wither away by themselves. The manufacturer just couldn’t find real truck driving Men anymore!
So there you have it.
MOTM Saturday Sam Musgrave
MOTM: Francis Wiggins - shout out again to Sam Musgrave and Joel.
Song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuC1uCl11bQ Rowntree Yorkie Advert 1976