Come along to Whitemans Green this weekend for an afternoon of scintillating rugby!
As a warm up for the afternoon of rugby ahead, Heath RAMS take on Shoreham II in the RFU Senior Vase kicking off at 1pm - so finished in time to watch England v South Africa LIVE on the BIG SCREEN in the Clubhouse.

Bar open from 12.30 and hot sausage rolls available!

Read last week's RAMS report to get a sense of what you will be missing if you don't go:

By Rev Dave Grimble
Somewhere in the heart of Gotham City, Batman (a.k.a. Dan Fergusson) and his loyal band of crime-fighting heroes took on the dastardly nemesis that is Plumpton. Would good prevail, or evil win the day? Only the next eighty minutes would tell.
Battle commenced with Evil playing down the hill and kicked off to be collected by Big Ben who knows but one game. Charge! Touch found, and line out to Evil.
"Holy disrupted line-out Batman".
"That's right Robin. You see how the props put Henry up at '2' and he won the ball on their line-out".
Claude collect and makes yards. Jon Smith makes a big run. Little knock on, scrum.
"Holy hands in the scrum Batman".
"That's right Robin. The referee noticed the Evil Plumptons using their hands and so gave a penalty to Good".
Ant finds touch, but Evil back at them.
"Holy missed tackles Batman".
"That's right Robin. You see the Heath players simply were not going 'Low, Low, Low'. The mantra of 1st XV coach and Emerald Isle expat Peter. Three missed tackles is very disappointing."
"Holy line defence Batman".
"That's right Robin. Dan was off the line to repel Evil and Chris made a massive tackle. He may have been penalised unfairly for not rolling away, but we never ever question the referee Robin. We leave that to the soccer fraternity".
Despite there only being a limited number of line-out calls, Heath managed to make a complete and utter ****** of it and ball to Evil a few yards out. But what was that, a little knock on over the line. No try.
Will RP was now off on a bullocking run. Turnover and Evil making yards. Penalty advantage and drop-kick attempt. Now, the unwritten rule in anything below Sussex 1 is 'no drop kicks'. It is just not the done thing.
Heath turn over the ball and make a break down the wing - but the ball is somehow passed into touch. Evil wins lineout and Mark stops the advance with his head (nothing up there to damage to be honest).
Evil has a line out. Won. Rolling Maul, mis-pass and score. 5-0 to Evil and the clouds start to gather over Gotham.
"Holy not 10m at the restart Batman".
"That's right Robin. Ant made the dogs dinner of that one, and is likely to receive penance at the end of season dinner. The Reverend is buying wooden cooking implements in bulk this year".
Plumpton kick deep into Heath's territory, and a brilliant palm-back keeps the ball in touch for Smithy to make a big run from behind the try line. Golly makes a big run. Chewy makes a big run, especially for a man of such advancing years.
Line-out to Evil, but again disputed by Henry.
KERR-POW!
"Holy massive tackle Batman"
"That's right Robin. Harry lined his man up and nailed it. That not only helps win the turnover ball but also lifts the rest of the team".
Chris at the breakdown again and Tim is off. Called-back for an ankle injury to Plumpton player. Despite being Evil and no doubts one the the Penguin's evil henchmen, we wish him well and a speedy recovery.
"Holy forward pass Batman".
"That's right Robin. Chris had done all the hard work, then goes and makes the dinner of the dog with a forward pass. He should know better Robin".
Penalty to Heath. Line out lost, big tackle by Chris and turnover. Ant is quick off the mark, feeds Ben who is off, feeds Chewy who is off.
KERR-THWACK!
"Holy sit-down Batman"
"That's right Robin, Harry made a massive run and decided to simply go through his opposite number".
Heath pressure results, big break.
"Holy white-line fever Batman".
"That's right Robin. You see Ali made a massive run and saw the whitewash. He may get a utensil for that one Robin".
"Holy try to Good Batman"
"That's right Robin. A quick tap and Samantha has gone over."
Conversion missed. Badly.
Another great tackle by WRP, Claude puts in a massive tackle on their enormous number 8 and WRP makes 40+ yards in clearance. Time to breathe.
Half time. Henry off. Sean on. Ant off. Claude to scrum-half and Will to fullback. Chundy was running the touch on the opposite side. Doing a cracking job. Not cheating and indicating touch when it wasn't or adding another 5 yards to his own team. Unlike some we could mention......
Will straight in to action with a clever cutting run, Ali makes big yards.
"Holy line-break batman".
"That's right Robin. Golly is having a cracking game and is off on a massive run. You see Robin, that gives the whole team a lift"
He cuts inside and passes.
"Holy bad line out call Batman".
"That's right Robin. He offloaded before going into touch, but the touch judges are all volunteers as well and we would never insinuate any favouritism Robin. Would we now?"
Heath set up a massive rolling maul. Makes yard after yard.
"Holy second try Batman".
"That's right Robin. You see, the line-out actually worked for one and Dan through the middle. Will's conversion was epic". 12-5
Claude restarts and Tim chases like a man possessed.
The next 10-15 minutes of play was not worth commenting on, apart from Mark tackling with his head again.
"Holy slap Batman".
"That's right Robin. That was even worse than handbags. The Plumpton player actually slapped Dan. The crowd may have passed a little wee in laughter".
Plumpton do a very clever kick over the top, to be gathered by Ali and returned with interest.
"Holy run and pass out-of-the-back-of-the-hand Batman".
"That's right Robin. Golly made 40+ yards and slipped a pass out. That is class Robin".
Harry, Jon and Chris now having a competition to see who can make the most hits.
Penalty to Heath, but miskick and pressure is back on. Plumpton go for touch, and take the ball up the blind size. Brilliant tackle by Sean.
Poor Heath scrum, which had been strong all day and Will puts in another massive clearing kick.
Plumpton now piling on the pressure. Penalty and run. Penalty and touch. Heath defence standing strong. Back-chat and Plumpton penalised 10m. Final kick and 12-5 full time. Good vanquished Evil.
Plumpton were great opponents and played the game with great gusto and a great degree of fluency. Although, their line-up at the end was quite random. Well played lads.
Heath now starting to put results together and even looked like they knew what they were doing once or twice.
Man of match between Will and Golly - Golly edging this encounter.