Weekly Roundup
Latest news from Holmes Chapel RUFC
1st XV
There was no game for Chapel last weekend, however the situation at the top of the league was impacted by Congleton’s impressive victory over Crewe & Nantwich. The result catapults Congleton back into the title race and narrows the gap between the top 2 and the rest of the chasing pack. On the positive side, Chapel now have a game in hand and if they win it could extend their lead at the top to 6 points.
But (and it’s a bit but) in order to achieve this they have to keep on winning, starting with Linley 3rd XV this coming Saturday. A glance at the table suggests this will be one of the easier games of the season however Chapel would be well-advised not to assume that will be the case. Linley are an extremely proud club who manage to field 3 senior teams week in week out and the 3s have only conceded 1 game all season which speaks volumes for their determination. Their 1st XV are also performing extremely well in the RFU leagues so there is clearly strength in depth there as well. 100% commitment will be required to ensure the streak is kept alive and the promotion push remains on track at Station Road.
To give the game a festive feel we are inviting all players and spectators – both Chapel and Linley – to come wearing your Santa hats before, during (spectators only!) and after the game. We will be asking everyone to donate £1 (or whatever you can afford) into the charity bucket and there will also be a post-match raffle. All proceeds will go to DEBRA, the national charity that supports individuals and families affected by Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB).
Kick off is at 2.15pm and all spectators are welcome. Refreshments are in The Swan after the match.
#keepthestreakalive
Jim Stevens & Kev Gormley
As many of you will know, 2 of our long-standing club members and ex-players are currently in hospital. Our thoughts go out to Jim Stevens, Kevin Gormley and their loved ones during this difficult time. We all hope you are back with your families where you belong as quickly as possible.
The 12 Pubs of Christmas
Another great HCRUFC social event was held last Saturday in the form of the 12 Pubs of Christmas around various Middlewich watering holes. An excellent turnout met in the King’s Lock at 4.05pm and finished up in the White Horse around 2am, and yes Captain Two Shandies did indeed make it all the way! In fact the lightweight of the day award went to Mr Dom Moss who turned up late because of a poorly-timed Christmas shopping trip. Dom – bear in mind for future that the only man who can get away with that excuse is Gazza!
Carols were sang in every other pub, and The Boars Head even provided a band to accompany the vocals. Outside every stop saw a compulsory verse of the 12 days of Christmas, although how anyone remembered the words is a mystery. New rules were created for each port of call such as “order your drink in rhyme”, “say Ho Ho Ho after each sentence” and the little known (for good reason) “Leprechaun Law”.
The full running order of pubs was as follows:
The Kings Lock; The Cheshire Cheese; The Kings Arms; The Vaults; The White Bear; The Golden Lion; The Big Lock; The Newton Brewery; The Boars Head; The Kinderton; The Narrowboat; The White Horse.
Thanks to all of them for putting up with us and hopefully see you again next year!
Well done to everyone who made it and big thanks to Mark “Makka” Mcenaney for another successful event.
Ask El Tel
Festive expert advice from everyone’s favourite Agony Uncle.
Dear El Tel
I am usually very busy with panto this time of year but have taken some time off this Christmas. It has given me time to throw some small gatherings where my friends and I drink miniatures out of pint-sized glasses, eat mini cheddars and listen to compact discs (our favourites are Little Richard, The Small Faces, and Tiny Dancer by Elton John). It also made me wonder though whether I would have even more friends if I were six feet tall?
Happy, A Posh Forest in France
Dear Happy
Please be reassured that all of the team appreciate the efforts you go to in order to keep us happy, both during the season and on tour, and as befits a member of the HCRUFC Hall of Fame you stand head and shoulders above the rest.
Marking the pitch when you can hardly see over the grass (when Short Arms Deep Pockets forgets to cut it), amusing and impressing us by skydiving off tall steps without spilling a drop of your drink and acting as Little Dai’s stunt double have all brought you the respect of the team and supporters.
And don’t forget, you not only have a choice of seven names to choose from each day depending on your mood, but also have all year round job choices (including blockbuster film roles such as R2D2 in the new Star Wars movie) whereas your chum JL can only find work in December! What a lucky little chap you are!
Love and kisses
Uncle El Tel
P.S. can you get me a role as The Fairy Godmother in Snow White next Christmas?
2014 / 15 Social Calendar
Coming Soon! The Jolly Boys Xmas Do is at the Swettenham Club on Saturday 27 December with a 1.05pm start. Food will be laid on and there is transport from Holmes Chapel if required. Let Andy P or Makka know if you’re coming.
With prizes up for grabs in Darts, Pool and Table Tennis there is ample opportunity to display your (lack of) hand-eye coordination and athletic prowess. Tune in next week to see the latest odds. Last year’s tournaments were won by somebody or other but sadly no-one can remember who they were. We can also confirm that a request from Tom “Spade Hands” Emerson to play Table Tennis without a bat has been rejected.
The Annual HCRUFC Jolly Boys Do – it’s what Christmas is all about!
Get these dates in your diary and come join us
Jolly Boys Pool & Darts (& Table Tennis) Xmas Knockout Competition, The Swettenham Club, Saturday 27 December, 1.05pm
Bus Trip to Vale of Lune (subject to confirmation), Saturday 24 January
Bus Trip to Oswestry, Saturday 21 February
Last Game of the Season, Winnington Park, Saturday 18 April (Fancy Dress TBC)
Tour to Southend-on-Sea, Thursday 8 – Sunday 11 May
Annual Dinner, April / May (exact date TBC)