Holmes Chapel 1st XV increased their lead at the top of Freshlet Division 4 South to 10 points last Saturday following victory over Whitchurch 3rd XV who had started the day in second place. Strong opposition from Whitchurch and some spurned opportunities early in the game made it a tough afternoon for the home side, but eventually Tom Chambers finished off a powerful run to secure a 22-7 success. Jack Cottam and Mark Mcenaney also crossed the whitewash for Chapel, with Andy Davies kicking 2 conversions and a penalty. Chambers was awarded Man of the Match for his all-round performance in defence and attack.

Read the match report here or pick up a copy of the Crewe Chronicle or Knutsford Guardian.

Around the league, Macclesfield leapfrogged Whitchurch into second place after they beat Trafford Metrovicks 5-0, while Crewe & Nantwich also kept up their promotion push by defeating Congleton. Old Bedians suffered a surprise loss to Eagle, Oswestry won at Linley and there were home wins for Bowdon and Lymm.

This weekend sees another home game for the Blue & Gold as fourth-placed Old Bedians 2nd XV visit Station Road. Bedians are a few points back but have a game in hand so a win on Saturday would propel them into contention for top spot. Chapel need to find the same resolve as they did last weekend, while adding some composure and accuracy to their attacking play if they want to register a fifth straight win.

Kick-off is at 2.15pm – the support has been fantastic recently (despite the awful weather) and it would be great to see that continue this weekend.

Captain’s Log

Chapel Captain Dom Moss talks on a good result against Whitchurch, the importance of training and a big match against Old Bedians.

Saturday saw us stretch out our lead at the top of the table after a 22-17 win against Whitchurch.

The game was far from a classic with poor conditions leading to plenty of handling errors. Whitchurch put the pressure on at every set piece and clean ball was hard to come by. Despite this, the ability of our squad was clear and plenty of opportunities were created. Three or four tries were disallowed for different reasons but Chapel still managed to score enough points and defend well enough to see the game through. Not a great performance, but all the same a great result.

Numbers at training were disappointing this week so we will look to improve these again in the coming weeks. It's important the whole squad makes the effort to regularly train and that it isn't just the same faces. Training does impact selection so make sure it is a priority.

This Saturday sees another tough game as 4th place Old Bedians visit Station Road. Meet time will be 13:00 at the Community Centre.

Supporters welcome with refreshments in the Vic after.

See you there.

Dom.

Vets XV aka The Ancients

After the excitement of last week’s announcement about the touring side, most of the Ancients are spending their time securing pass-outs and saving beer money so there’s not much to report this week. However, we can confirm that Andy’s Ancients will be heading up the A50 to play their Knutsford counterparts on Saturday 20 February so if your local chemist runs out of Ibuprofen and Cod Liver Oil over the next few weeks, you’ll know the reason why.

Keep these dates in your diary for future matches:

20 February 2016
13 March 2016
16 April 2016

6 Nations 2016

It starts next week! After that awful few weeks since the World Cup ended, the 6 Nations is finally here to relieve the boredom and give us an excuse to have a beer. And as you would expect, The Weekly Roundup will offer our usual unreadable rubbish first-class journalism on all things relating to the famous tournament.

Who’s Going?

Just like in the World Cup, if you’re going to a game let us know so we can give you a shout out. Text Andy P and also send him any photos of you and your mates watching the games.

Predictions League

Yep, the world-famous HCRUFC Predictions League will be running again for anyone who wants to show off their rugby expertise.

Rules are simple – before the tournament kicks off, predict the final table (5 pts for the overall winners, 3 pts for each other correctly placed team). Before each game, predict your winner (3pts), the score (5pts) and the first tryscorer (5pts). A WhatsApp group will be created or you can enter by text or on the forum if you don’t know how to use a smartphone.

The last 2 leagues have been won by Terry “El Tel” Emerson and Steve “The Hitman” Hatton, but watch out for a surprise bid for the crown this year by Paul “The Gambler” Cooke!

When & Where to Watch?

Where fixtures don’t clash with Chapel matches we’ll be trying to make sure the lads get together to watch the action in The Vic Club. Stay tuned to the Forum, Facebook & Twitter, WhatsApp and The Weekly Roundup for more details!

Fixture List

Round 1
Saturday 6 February (no Chapel game scheduled)
France v Italy 14:25
Scotland v England 16:50
Sunday 7 February
Ireland v Wales 15:00
Round 2
Saturday 13 February (Chapel away at Oswestry)
France v Ireland 14:25
Wales v Scotland 16:50
Sunday 14 February
Italy v England 14:00
Round 3
Friday 26 February
Wales v France 20:05
Saturday 27 February (Chapel away at Linley)
Italy v Scotland 14:25
England v Ireland 16:50
Round 4
Saturday 12 March (Chapel away at Bowdon)
Ireland v Italy 13:30
England v Wales 16:00
Sunday 13 March
Scotland v France 15:00
Round 5
Saturday 19 March (Chapel home to Crewe & Nantwich)
Wales v Italy 14:30
Ireland v Scotland 17:00
France v England 20:00

Video of the Week

And Jack Baskerville has surprised everyone this week by selecting a video relating to rugby union. It’s certainly one to work on in training – mind you, we struggle to think of lineout calls as it is so God knows what we’d call for this one. Really Cool Scrum Half Break Then Pass to Hooker ball maybe?

Enjoy the video here.

Gentlemen…Your Tourists Need You!

Calling anyone planning on attending the end of season annual serious rugby playing trip to a small fishing village near Barcelona. An exciting opportunity has arisen to be part of the tour organisational committee in the post of Vice-Sub-Deputy-Assistant-Junior Tour Virgin Master. As Second-in-Command to Paul “Biffa” Watson, the successful applicant will enjoy the respect of literally nobody, while there is a very attractive salary package of all the beers you can drink in the hotel bar.

You must be able to take direction from the Tour Virgin Master and ensure that the DSTVBs (see TOW for a translation – unless you are a DSTVB in which case work it out for yourself) are kept nice and busy with plenty of interesting and exciting tasks. You will also share responsibility for keeping the little “expletives-deleteds” in line at all times.

No previous experience is required, however it would be advantageous if you have already been a DSTVB yourself and therefore have some understanding of the role.

Key Attributes:

1. You must be prepared to spend time with DSTVBs (obviously this rules out most people)
2. You must be prepared to spend time with Biffa (and there go the rest)
3. You must have a severe dislike of DSTVBs
4. You must have a particularly nasty streak
5. When required you must be able to be completely horrible
6. You must never be confused with someone who gives a Dooga
7. An uncaring attitude is essential
8. You must have a strong constitution and not be easily offended
9. You must have the ability to direct and distribute punishment where required
10. You must do as directed by the TVM at all times

Interviews will take place after the next Ancients game and the successful applicant must abide by the Ts&Cs of the role.

So, if you are a self-motivated, goal-orientated, results-driven dynamic kind of a guy and you fancy being part of a high performing team, working in a fast-paced environment and knocking targets clean out of the park then you can sod off and find another rugby club to go on tour with thanks very much.

Ask El Tel

More expert advice from everyone's favourite Agony Uncle.

El Tel

Before Christmas I finally plucked up the courage and entered the field as a player for the mighty Blue & Gold. I've done my fair share of duties as a water boy for the Ancients and have always admired from afar how the lads glide (or is that slide?) up and down the field, I'm not normally used to this as I am a Northampton fan.

Anyway having now been part of the playing side and got the bug, I am worried that this may never happen again, how do I keep this going and continue with my new found love.

Thank you in advance

Marathon Man, Filling water bottles in Cranage

Dear Snickers (the latest name for Marathon) Man

It must be very difficult being named after a chocolate bar, especially in rugby where the lads can be unforgiving of lesser mortals. The Ancients were impressed that you finally plucked up the courage to have a run out however they were concerned that with your running background that you wanted to become the teams very own Forrest Gump running in diagonal lines and off the pitch! Unfortunately, that role is already taken by the incomparable Michael Van Gerwen… The gents were however also impressed by your ability to carry numerous bottles onto the pitch and off again without getting out of breath. It would be helpful if you stood still for a while so they could at least grab a drink.

Now it was said that you were worried about playing for the mighty Blue & Gold Ancients as you had not played for a while. It was also rumoured that you had done some junior coaching. Now let me put your mind at rest, most of the lads look as though they have never played and those that do spend the game telling others how to play the game, reminiscing about games of yore, talking to the ref in the hope that play stops long enough so they can get their breath back or take a leek [Editor’s note – presumably The Skipper or The German?], or most commonly comparing scars with the opposition front row. It has also been known for bets to be taken on the likelihood of TOW actually kicking a penalty this season, how many Lambert & Butler Network Rails Finest can get through, or suggestions proffered from the opposition on what the Virgin Meister can do the DSTVB scrotes on the next tour.

The one good thing about you being a pace man is that you can do the running for the rest of the Ancients. Even though his dad is the teams’ favourite Weeble there is no way that Attitude could be taken for an Ancient. In fact, he looks too young to be in your Under 16 coaching sessions!!

Do keep coming along and keep playing. The boys will be firm and fair with you, well firm anyway…

All the best

El Tel

PS less said about Northampton the better pal…

Don’t forget! If you are going on tour, make sure you ask El Tel a question on the forum! As the font of all knowledge he needs to keep his mind active so is offering a prize for ‘question of the week’ but to be eligible you must post on the forum. Winners will be announced in The Weekly Roundup and prized will be awarded either on Saturday or on Tour.

And this week’s winner is Mark “Makka” Mcenaney who wins a voucher that can be exchanged (on tour) for an hour spent without a tour virgin in sight. Well done Makka.

So what are you waiting for? Visit the forum now and Ask El Tel!

Makka’s Tour Sleep Counter (sponsored by Joe Maddock’s Fact of the Week)

133 Sleeps To Go!

Joe says:

“California has issued at least 6 drivers licenses to people named Jesus Christ. Seriously, how have I never heard of this until now? So The Messiah comes back to earth at least 6 times and not one newspaper or TV station has broadcast the story? Sometimes I despair of my fellow human beings, I really do.”