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Weekly Roundup

Weekly Roundup

Jon Griffin21 May 2016 - 12:59
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Latest news from Holmes Chapel RUFC

1st XV

All the best to the lads for the Sandbach Festival of Rugby 7s tournament. The boys are doing battle as I write with reports suggesting they have so far beaten Fiji, lost to Samoa and are set to take on France in the next round. They also reported that Rob Moore has scored 6 tries so I think someone may be trying to pull my leg.

Keep checking the website for a full report on how the day went.

Annual Dinner

Last weekend saw a fantastic night at The Vic Club to celebrate the End of Season Do. With excellent food, entertaining speeches (thanks to whoever kidnapped Steve Hatton by the way) and a brilliant set by the music man Jack Baskerville it was truly a night to remember.

Award winners were:

• Clubman of the Year - Andy Partington
• Chairman's Award - Dom Moss
• Top Try Scorer - Jed Wragg
• Most Improved Player - Nath Stewart
• Captains Player - Mark Mcenaney
• Presidents Player - Jon Griffin
• Players Player- Jack Cottam
• Ancients Captains Player - Steve Leyland
• Ancients Players Player - Paul Watson

Big thanks to Mark Mcenaney, Kara Holloway and Michelle Cottam for their efforts in organising the event and thanks to everyone who attended.

Video of the Week

Jack Baskerville is also getting excited about tour and has found us a video featuring a training session held by the newly formed Barcelona rugby team. Good skills.

Enjoy the video here.

Catalonia 2016 – Tour Update

Under 3 weeks to go until we take off for sunny Spain! Despite being so close to departure there are still a few of you that need to do one or more of the following:

• Send TOW your passport details
• Pay your full balance
• Order your fancy dress
• Ask El Tel a question on the forum
• Be horrible to a Tour Virgin

To help you out even further, there will be a tour meeting on Tuesday 24 May in The Swan, 21:15 start – agenda is below:

• Confirmation of Tourists
• Itinerary
• Election of Tour Officials
• Cost Update and Payments
• T Shirts and Tour Merchandise
• Hotel Details
• Flight Details
• Passport Information
• Tour Ethics
• Songbook
• AOB

Tour Virgins – hopefully you have started to memorise your facts about Catalonia ready to be tested on these!

Finally, we need to get caught up with our Ask El Tel on the forum winners. And it’s congratulations to Rob Moore, Harry Jeanes and Andy Partington who join Jed Wragg in vice-captaincy roles for the beach rugby teams (Blues, Golds, Skins & Ancients respectively).

Still time to ask El Tel a question before he closes the thread for another year! Log onto the forum and see if you can outfox the silver fox!

Ask El Tel

More expert advice from everyone's favourite Agony Uncle.

El Tel

Cześć

A little advice please. Although I have a foreign sounding surname, I keep telling people that I'm not actually Polish.

How do I get this across to people? I tried explaining to that smurf bloke, but he just didn't seem to get it? Mind you, I also tried to explain the 5 times table to him and he didn't get that either.

OK, so I know my Krakow from my Warsaw but why won't people believe that I'm not Polish? Please help me get the lads to realise this before I go on a vodka and bigos binge to cheer myself up.

Dzięki

Polish Just Joe, Middlewich (Twinned with Wroclaw)

Dobry dzień Jozef, jak się masz

At HCRUFC we see ourselves as trend setters and have long welcomed our European country cousins, so no need to feel ashamed and pretend you aren’t really Polish. We have had professional players and international coaches turn out in the blue and gold, one reason we are now starting the seconds back up ~ to meet the high demand. We are especially welcoming of the Poles after all they are always helping us out in difficult times, you know like pilots with the RAF in WW2 and more recently as plumbers, painters and plasterers...

Many famous people have been Polish, including Nobel Prize winners, World’s strongest men, and of course a Pope who was renowned for his bathroom products including the Prize winning “Pope on a Rope”. Roman Polanski of course is famous not only for being a film director but also for topping Interpol’s wanted list for his nocturnal activities…. allegedly. I regularly visited Warsaw and was often treated by my colleagues to Poland’s renowned cuisine. You know … sausage, potatoes and sauerkraut; fish, potatoes and sauerkraut; horse, potatoes and sauerkraut; while for dessert we had poppy seed cake, potatoes and sauerkraut… The speciality of course is dumplings, can’t wait to go back!

I think you should consider suggesting Poland as a tour venue of the future. There are lots of friends to make including Żywiec, Tyskie, Okocim, Lech, Heweliusz and Tatra beers and of course Red Army, Konik’s Tail, Snow Leopard and my favourite Zubrówka Bison Grass in the Vodka range. However, I think Krakow would be better than Warsaw as I am still on the most wanted list at Agnieska and Anastazja’s bar but I assure you it was a genuine misunderstanding and mistranslation. I swear she said good night not good time and I did pay the bill!

Anyway take care bro and if you see Mateusz Bartoszek from Glasgow Hawks next time you are down the Polish club see if he can get us some tickets for England v Scotland next year.

Do widzenia or I’ll be seeing ya as the Poles say in Crewe

El Tel

Makka’s Tour Sleep Counter (sponsored by Joe Maddock’s Fact of the Week)

19 Sleeps To Go!

Joe says:

“The human eye is composed of more than 2 million working parts. Speaking of eyesight, the other day I went to see an optician who was wearing glasses. I mean, he can’t even see properly himself but he has the cheek to comment on my vision! This country…”

More from Joe next week…

Desert Island Ovals

This week, Armed Forces Enthusiast Conor Crawford brings us his 8 favourite records:

In The Army Now – Status Quo
Tank You – Led Zeppelin
Brothers In Armies – Dire Straits
Here Comes The Gun – The Beatles
Shooty – Jennifer Lopez
Troops I Did It Again – Britney Spears
SAS – ABBA
Sitting On The Dock Of The Bayonet – Otis Redding

CD available now priced at only £49.99!!! Please make cheques payable to the HCRUFC Spanish Lessons For Dummies Collection.

Meetings, Socials & Key Dates

Tour Meeting, The Swan, 21:15 Tuesday 24 May
AGM, The Vic Club, Friday 3 June
Hands Up for Jonny Wilkinson’s Right Boot (play), The Vic Club, Saturday 4 June
Tour, Catalonia, 10-13 June
The Big HCRUFC Campout, Spade Hands’s Country Estate, Saturday 9 July
The Big HCRUFC Bike Ride to Twickenham, various roads, 23-26 November

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Further reading