Horsham 5-3 Mid Sussex
Twilight isn't just a bad film, it's time for hockey.
It was a muggy day, for the boys to pull their socks up and travel on the 19 hour flight to and from Amsterdam 19 times in preparation for Burgess hill. There were some baffled faces as young Ginge-de-Ninj, Sam K found his mum jetlagged and asleep in the car in anticipation of this clash of these highly thought of teams... and Mid Sussex.
The warm up led by Admiral Aubergine, Mikey Campbell was exhausting, leading to certain players disappearing to hide behind cars at St Paul's make shift car park/playground. Drill Sergeant Beany was giving a one on one pep talk to Sam Mason, who was sporting his new mustache as if it wasn't even weird.
A short warm up on pitch with a few mock shorts got Tom Surridge right in the mood for a game of having balls smashed at him. the pressure was too much for some of the team, resulting in 17 emotional break downs, and the teams therapy bill going through the roof. It had been so long since Horsham had tasted a defeat that the anticipation was huge.
The whistle blew. The next 70 minutes were all that mattered now. Not global warming, not "what will Santa bring you", not even breakfast banter mattered now. Horsham started with the ball and charged straight in to the attack like a bull thinking about purchasing some china teacups, but not certain yet. Straight in to the opponents half with some cracking passing around the D. One slip up from el capitan, saw him pass the ball to a stray attacker, who basically ran to the edge of the D, had a shot, took a huge deflection, and then the ball fell over the line.
Horsham were trailing. It was unheard of. Straight back on the attack with some promising build up play from the bromance between Grout and Spiers saw some questionable calls from the authority in the opponents half. A sideline ball played to Jean the Mad Frenchman Marshal, played to Spiers at the top of the D, who pulled the ball on to his reverse, and struck. the ball flew straight between the keepers legs.
Sham were back in it at 1-1 with literally 5-10 minutes played. Following this inspiration of his idol Spiers scoring, Grouty picked up the ball on the half way line and decided now was the time to shine. Taking it straight up the middle. Fencing his way past 4 defenders, all chopping away at his stick. It didn't face him. He had faced ghetto after ghetto on Grand Theft Auto. He got to the D, pulled the ball to his reverse, wildly swung and lifted the ball going high and wide, until a defender decided that he felt bad about the horrendous tackling, and slammed it to the top of the net. This goal came after Spiers had taken the ball in to the D and PASSED to Grout on the far post who decided to fall over instead.
After a severe amount of hugging, crying and rolling around in the daisies... the guys lined themselves up to continue. There were plenty of slide tackles happening, blamed on the poor lighting of pitch to see a few cards flying out and about. The Mid Sussex captain couldn't contain his annoyingly squeeky voice any longer, and decided he would have a bit of a pop at some of the decisions being made.. He was met with a green card and a warning for the rest of his team to play the game.
Horsham gained themselves a short corner, which Michael Smith smoothly put the ball to the left side of the goal, to make it 3-1. Horsham had relaxed now. it was looking promising going in to the second half. The word "lads" used countless times during the captains team talk at half time reaffirmed everyone in the talks gender.
The second half came and Mid Sussex tee'd the ball off. They put the pressure on immediately. So much so that Spiers decided to go for a jog around the other half making their defender try and run too. Mid sussex pulled a goal away somehow... Not 100% how as I was running in circles.
After some more heavy clashes, Liam "charmer" Smith ran straight into a particularly stringy defender, winding him. After 17 apologies, and blaming it on the lights.. the previously heavily injured defender decided he wasn't actually hurt, just decided he could actually run fine. It didn't help however as he couldn't keep it buttoned, and down to his annoyance at a fair short corner awarded to Horsham. the act of achieving the SC saw 2 of Mid Sussex' players receive yellows. It didn't take long for Michael smith to take advantage of this and bury the ball after a few deflections.
It took a mere matter of minutes for Phil the Butch to find his goal of the game too. He smashed the back board harder that a hammer on an anvil. He is a massive West Ham fan. He did a backflip on his bionic knee which raised questions from the quick speaking Italian on the sideline. I have no idea what the guy was saying, but I am upset we don't have someone running around shouting about pasta.
The game looked all wrapped up, before mid sussex released their secret 3 foot tall weapon. A boy with a stick as big as himself managed to break free from Tom's sight and fire away a reverse shot straight in to the goal. It brought a tear to the eye to see an Oompa Loompa standing up for it's rights. Proud to have witnessed it.
At 5-3 the final whistle blew, and then the floodlights actually turned on. It was magical all around.
Teas - unknown
MoM - the Oompa Loompa
DoD - Mikey the Carrot.
Goals - Michael Smith x 2
Ollie Spiers - 1
Phil Butcher - 1
Attendance 48 and an Italian Legend.