You walk to the Tourmalet in a slightly over excited state (you have been waiting for this moment for days now). Edelstoff has dominated your thoughts ever since you saw it featured on the Leith CC website. You have made several attempts to go to The Tourmalet but each time an inopportune phonecall or housecall has thwarted you. You have made sure that you have plenty of funds in your pocket (people have been raving about Edelstoff in recent weeks) - it must be so good, you'll pay whatever the jovial bartender asks (even if it involves a quick trip to his private room with bicycle chains and used cycling shorts adorning the walls). After a brief moment of panic, your Edelstoff arrives in front of you on the bar and there is no request for sordid activities in the back room.
After 1 bottle, you feel an overwhelming urge to sing and break into your best rendition of Deutschland Leid.
After two bottles, a feeling of nostalgia grips you and you start to regail the bar with the story of your career with Leith CC, starting with the moment when you first saw the mouldy net being taken out of the container.
After 3 bottles, you get up to visit the lavatory and fall down.
This delay results in you wetting your trousers.
You spot Bilson laughing at your misfortune and feel the urge to abuse him in some way, but you have not yet consumed enough Edelstoff.
You ask the jovial bartender how much you need to drink before you will start to become abusive and he informs you that the national average is 10 bottles.
Some cricketers arrive and one of them buys you another bottle of Edelstoff - the rest of the evening is a blur.........
Brewery: Augustiner Brau
Brewed at: Munich, Bavaria
Beer style: Dortmunder
Strength: 5.6% ABV
Serving temperature: 46°-48°F (8°-9°C