This week's match report is bought to you by Rolo.
The Fredwardian's started poorly as usual, falling down 3-1 at half time in what was a very very poor performance. The only highlight of the first half was a brilliant reverse stick goal by Mylo at the near post that left the opposition keeper stunned.
Determined to get the Eds back on track, Freddie delivered a half time speech that still echoes in everyone's mind. It is quoted below verbatim
"IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Ladies and gentlemen..Eds will be playing four three fucking three"
Inspired by this speech the Eds went to mount one of the most famous comebacks in hockey history. Hopey intentionally fucked up a shorted corner, a little scramble and Raz somehow knocked the ball in. Watto then put in another cross which Raz deftly flicked into the bottom corner. Stobbsy, never one to be left out, buried a brilliant short-corner to level the game at 4-4.
In the dying minutes Raz rounded the keeper and rolled the ball towards the goal, however the defender knocked it away with the back of his stick. No flick was given (which like every wrong umpiring decision falls at the feet of the Umpire Sec, whoever that may be) and the game ended a draw.
Other honourable mentions:
-Hopey fucking up pushing out 3 short corners
-Henry pretending to hurt his knee; a bruise on the leg is a long way from the heart..but seriously hope you get better soon
-Hopey getting told off by his missus later at night for being a state
-Watto organising to meet with the L3s as opposite to any other team (with no ulterior motives)
-Raz taking over a month to do his two pints
-Jonesy saying "I'm so out of shape" before taking of his top to reveal his 8 pack is now only a 6 pack.
MoM and DoD were both won by Raz because everyone loves a bit of chocolate.