Manchester University Mens Lacrosse Club

Goal Keeper

A ridiculous human being is the kindest way of introducing you to a man phased by nothing. An active supporter of public nudity and famed for his outreach work with various international nations, sometimes at the same time, Tom Poffley is the epitome of ridiculousness, the next in the line of carrying on the time honoured tradition of "unfathomable" nicknames for goalies.
One of the few members in the team that can claim they have played everywhere on the pitch. "LaRoux" as he was christened in his first year, began in attack and after ending a young fresher's lacrosse career one training session in he slowly began to fall down the pitch until he landed in the netting. He is recently returning from a sabbatical from outside of the sticks but the 11/12 season begs him back to the comforting 6x6 no-fly zone that he protects with unerring grace and natural ability.
Don't be deterred by the penchant for reggae or the dreads, this boy is very much ready to kill you if you have the ball anywhere near him, or if you just don't look normal...think how many people that is when he looks like that!




Defence

Another from the class of 09/10, Hugo Hobson gladly took up a long shaft and began cleaving away at all in his path. Hugo is so committed to the training drills that sometimes, despite being asked to stop, or to go easy, he keeps piling on the pressure and the intensity until somebody is put on the ground. Hugo is a stalwart in defence, although is known to venture beyond the hallowed half way line in search of a goal.
Last year's Tour Sec, Hugo spearheaded the inaugural trip to the Lowlands festival in Amsterdam, agreed by all to have been a huge success on and off the field.


A Mancunian born and bred, you would be forgiven for thinking that Hasan had played lacrosse since he was a babe in arms, but you would be wrong. He grabbed himself a long pole early on in his lengthy career, spanning all of two years, and now wields it with a ferocity that means even if you are in training you don't want to get too near.
Our very own George Osbourne, this economics student has taken the red briefcase and is holding it tight to his chest making sure non of our committee members get the rent on their second homes paid for.




Midfield

James Bates is the face-off specialist of Manchester Uni. His casual approach and huge legs makes him easy to spot, but difficult to stop. Never known for keeping his thoughts to himself, James has an opinion on everything and a song for every occasion. Notorious for his extreme modesty, James finds it hard to recognise his own strengths, but he's working on that... He also has a huge arse, many are suspicious that the booty in some way adds down force, or that it is used like a tail to gain superior balance, but until BUCS ban the booty then Manchester Lacrosse have been bestowed a wonder of the modern world.


Sacha Stout loves lacrosse. However, he would prefer it if it was played on hands and knees alone. Known as "mud dog" for his insatiable appetite for rolling around on the floor (especially in poor weather), Sacha will lead the 1st team as captain in the 2011/2012 season. Sacha loves to clear the ball, usually by fighting every player all the way down the pitch, but somehow it works. Hopefully he too can follow in the hallowed footsteps of previous UMLC captains and take the club to another successful season of BUCS and tours.


You wouldn't know it to talk to him but Zach only joined the Manchester University Lacrosse Team in the 10/11 season. An asset stolen from the lesser sports of football and rugby, Mr. Rooney joined with an eager delight not seen before.
Immediately jumping into trainings and practices he quickly picked up the skills and helmets and shorts, and sticks and gloves and pinnies and t-shirts needed to outfit a whole team. He is best known for the fact he was in a long term relationship that has since recently come to a plateau, but Chris seems to be coping well.
This year Zach will be in charge of the new player intake and has already fervently been working the forums to get games for players we don't yet have, top work!


Nik is the gentleman of the team (he has a girlfriend don't you know) and always uses the softest of voices. His debut and first lacrosse experience came in the 2010/2011 season, in which his unique dodge style quickly developed: spin, then spin again, and if you're not quite there, one more spin. It works though, Nik bagged a number of goals for both Manchester and the mighty Manlax. He also has a strong bromance with defender Guy Ellis which at times appears suspect, but it has yet to affect his on pitch performance. As one of the new kids who cut his teeth in the famous 2011 season, Nik will look to go further, spin more and have even more impeccable manners in the 2011/2012 season.


Mass opitimises the ideals of the true modern male role model. Dressed in only the most clashing of clothes, Mass can turn just about anything into a party. With a flash of his penis and a mouthful of drink, Mass will leap into/onto/through just about anything in sight, and turn the most frigid of people into a monster. On the pitch, Mass brings some flair and trademark frivolity. Besides, if you're really lucky you may get to witness the rare reverse grip under hand windmill power shot that could make an appearance in the new season. You have been warned.


What a nob head.


"Quiet", "scruffy" and "lacking in all charm" are three qualities that, in a recent poll, Ranga thought he didn't have. Outwardly "The Love-meister" (as he likes to be called) pretends as if he can have all the ladies he wants, but recent findings have shown him to be possibly open to mutual agreements with benefits.
As to the matter of his lacrosse career RF was a fresh face in the critically acclaimed 10/11 season, he wasn't at any of the games, but he on the team sheet. A lax'er since his foretold birth in Sheffield, he knows how to put one in the net even if it has to bounce off the crossbar, the keepers helmet and then roll over the line, but not everyone can make that shot, you're born with that type of skill.
Known to do something to do with music too...





Attack

Tom Flint is one of the few members of the team left who has seen past two seasons in the UMMLC outfit. A recently converted midi, Flinty has an arsenal of moves that will leave you dumb founded, non more so than his blistering speed. Even if you could catch him he'd brush off your check with ease.
A softy at heart Flinty means you no harm, get on the wrong side though and...well he'll still probably do you no harm, but he'll like you a little less.
Last year's president Flinty returns, and without the shackles of responsibility all hell may break loose on the pitch.


From the old president to the new, coming into his third year Andrew "Downes" Downes has quickly positioned himself as the leader of the pack. After a "relatively" quiet first year in the club, his second year and right handed shot have impressed the masses; home-grown and international alike. Sure he may drop the ball once, twice, maybe three times in quick succession and you may even be forgiven for thinking that, after he's ripped that 30 yard screamer into the top corner, it was all a cunning act, but be the first to know, it's not.
As sharp as a butter knife, but as unforgiving as a hangover. He'll party harder than you could dream and will be kicked out more times than you've had nights out. This is your leader, your chief, your president!




Returning after a year's sabbatical, Jordan Rice slots back into his rightful place as a UMMLC attacker. Unfortunately his comeback to lacrosse has been hampered with injury but Jordan is now back up to the gruelling standards demanded by the team, and that is a worry for any opposition defence.
Snatched from the grips of football Jordan picked up Lacrosse on his arrival at Manchester University, gifted with the natural ability to slot it home Jordan will be looking to further his statistics and embarrass all those that stand between him and his 6'x6' target.