Tour - Tour Report (Toulouse)
Medicals RFC Toulouse Tour April 22-24 2011
Friday 22nd (There)
“The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.”
A small band of brothers set off to tour Toulouse, fifteen in total with three Tour Virgins. The Tour Virgins were dressed as the “three blind mice”. They had several tasks to perform but I think the one they least enjoyed was eating cheese supplied by their tour dads. I don’t think I have seen more pitiful sight than a grown man crying at the sight of a block of parmesan. We also saw the return of some old favourites such as Cammy Shields and Al Doors.
We left sunny Newcastle at midday on Friday the 22nd April and travelled to Manchester by coach. Some would say that allowing seven hours for warm up drinks prior to the flight was a mistake. Luckily the flight was delayed for two hours which allowed for nine hours of pre-flight drinks. At the airport Jon Barclay found an under 14’s rugby team going on tour. They all gathered round him. I am unsure whether this was due to having seen him on “Junior Doctors” or whether it was just the effect of gravity.
After a delightful conversation with the police we were allowed to board the flight. We were given the kind of joyous reception that can only come from the expectation of locking the Medicals in a metal box, with civilians, for three hours.
Arriving two hours late at the out of town Toulouse airport meant that we were the last flight and no bus services were available. Without any access to transport we befriended a young lad who was visiting his girlfriend. Medicals demonstrated their ingenuity by haranguing the girlfriend until we all managed to get lifts. The late arrival also meant that many of the bars were closing and the clubs were not particularly welcoming to us. In fact in seems that if you don’t have a harem of young ladies with you then they won’t let you in. In desperation we even tried some of the local male only establishments. These wouldn’t let us in either, even though we had someone with us who spoke their lingo. Medicals are nothing if not resourceful; some of the tourists found helpful young ladies who were willing to provide all kinds of access. The unsuccessful ones managed to purchase booze from a kebab house and to have an impromptu drinking table back at the hotel.
Saturday 23rd (and)
Cicero is quoted as saying “It is a great thing to know our vices”. If this so then the 23rd was a great day. The game was scheduled for a four o’clock kick off. By the time everyone was assembled it only gave us four hours for match preparation. Twed along with a few more seasoned veterans had of course managed to squeeze in a few extra hours of preparation.
Medicals arrived to play Toulouse Athletic Club (TAC) well lubricated. With only fifteen tourists everyone had to play. Al Doors, came out of retirement to perform admirably at prop forward. The Medicals went three tries up in the first 20mins with the forwards dominating the set piece. However, the pre-match drinks began to tell particularly in the back line with one faking an injury and another falling asleep / passing out on the 22. However, the medicals maintained a lead of 5 tries to 3 at half time. The unfortunate injury of Andy Bath just after half time meant that even with 2 players borrowed from TAC we were still a player down for the second half. With one minute to go the Medicals were 8 tries to 7 up. A lineout within the Medicals’ 22 was retained by TAC. TAC put together a passage of play which stretched the Medicals’ tired and drunk defence and TAC scored in the far corner to clinch the game. The Medicals in true touring style had refused to take any kicks, including conversions, during the game.
A night at the rugby club followed. TAC were incredible hosts and kept us constantly topped up with local French brew. I would love to describe more of the evening but unfortunately I woke up the next day in the hotel with very little recollection of the night. I believe there was a naked drinking race but I am not certain.
Sunday 24th (back again)
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; or close the wall up with our English dead.”
After a quick exit from the hotel another day of drinks and revelry followed. The tourists had become a tight knit group by now. The Medical’s stoic resolve to push on through a resistant French city had not been seen since WWII or perhaps Agincourt.
The traditional Tour Court was held under the direction of the Honourable Judge Barclay. I would not usually mention any court occurrences (what goes on tour) however, I think it is worth noting that for the first time, in ten tours, a man was found innocent. As stated by the defending lawyer you get what you pay for, if you are willing to pay for a Jewish lawyer you’ll get off.
We arrived back in Newcastle at 04.00 on the Monday each swearing that it would be our last Tour.
Finally, I would like to say a thank you to all the Old Boy’s. Without their continued support the seven students who greatly enjoyed Tour would not have been able to come.
Many Thanks
Jim and the Tourists.
P.S. I am hanging up my organising responsibilities this year and an enthusiastic young blood is hoping to take over. I wish Sam Cockburn all the best in his future role.
Friday 22nd (There)
“The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.”
A small band of brothers set off to tour Toulouse, fifteen in total with three Tour Virgins. The Tour Virgins were dressed as the “three blind mice”. They had several tasks to perform but I think the one they least enjoyed was eating cheese supplied by their tour dads. I don’t think I have seen more pitiful sight than a grown man crying at the sight of a block of parmesan. We also saw the return of some old favourites such as Cammy Shields and Al Doors.
We left sunny Newcastle at midday on Friday the 22nd April and travelled to Manchester by coach. Some would say that allowing seven hours for warm up drinks prior to the flight was a mistake. Luckily the flight was delayed for two hours which allowed for nine hours of pre-flight drinks. At the airport Jon Barclay found an under 14’s rugby team going on tour. They all gathered round him. I am unsure whether this was due to having seen him on “Junior Doctors” or whether it was just the effect of gravity.
After a delightful conversation with the police we were allowed to board the flight. We were given the kind of joyous reception that can only come from the expectation of locking the Medicals in a metal box, with civilians, for three hours.
Arriving two hours late at the out of town Toulouse airport meant that we were the last flight and no bus services were available. Without any access to transport we befriended a young lad who was visiting his girlfriend. Medicals demonstrated their ingenuity by haranguing the girlfriend until we all managed to get lifts. The late arrival also meant that many of the bars were closing and the clubs were not particularly welcoming to us. In fact in seems that if you don’t have a harem of young ladies with you then they won’t let you in. In desperation we even tried some of the local male only establishments. These wouldn’t let us in either, even though we had someone with us who spoke their lingo. Medicals are nothing if not resourceful; some of the tourists found helpful young ladies who were willing to provide all kinds of access. The unsuccessful ones managed to purchase booze from a kebab house and to have an impromptu drinking table back at the hotel.
Saturday 23rd (and)
Cicero is quoted as saying “It is a great thing to know our vices”. If this so then the 23rd was a great day. The game was scheduled for a four o’clock kick off. By the time everyone was assembled it only gave us four hours for match preparation. Twed along with a few more seasoned veterans had of course managed to squeeze in a few extra hours of preparation.
Medicals arrived to play Toulouse Athletic Club (TAC) well lubricated. With only fifteen tourists everyone had to play. Al Doors, came out of retirement to perform admirably at prop forward. The Medicals went three tries up in the first 20mins with the forwards dominating the set piece. However, the pre-match drinks began to tell particularly in the back line with one faking an injury and another falling asleep / passing out on the 22. However, the medicals maintained a lead of 5 tries to 3 at half time. The unfortunate injury of Andy Bath just after half time meant that even with 2 players borrowed from TAC we were still a player down for the second half. With one minute to go the Medicals were 8 tries to 7 up. A lineout within the Medicals’ 22 was retained by TAC. TAC put together a passage of play which stretched the Medicals’ tired and drunk defence and TAC scored in the far corner to clinch the game. The Medicals in true touring style had refused to take any kicks, including conversions, during the game.
A night at the rugby club followed. TAC were incredible hosts and kept us constantly topped up with local French brew. I would love to describe more of the evening but unfortunately I woke up the next day in the hotel with very little recollection of the night. I believe there was a naked drinking race but I am not certain.
Sunday 24th (back again)
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; or close the wall up with our English dead.”
After a quick exit from the hotel another day of drinks and revelry followed. The tourists had become a tight knit group by now. The Medical’s stoic resolve to push on through a resistant French city had not been seen since WWII or perhaps Agincourt.
The traditional Tour Court was held under the direction of the Honourable Judge Barclay. I would not usually mention any court occurrences (what goes on tour) however, I think it is worth noting that for the first time, in ten tours, a man was found innocent. As stated by the defending lawyer you get what you pay for, if you are willing to pay for a Jewish lawyer you’ll get off.
We arrived back in Newcastle at 04.00 on the Monday each swearing that it would be our last Tour.
Finally, I would like to say a thank you to all the Old Boy’s. Without their continued support the seven students who greatly enjoyed Tour would not have been able to come.
Many Thanks
Jim and the Tourists.
P.S. I am hanging up my organising responsibilities this year and an enthusiastic young blood is hoping to take over. I wish Sam Cockburn all the best in his future role.
RSS Feeds