In the Community Centre, Tom McClelland denies being Scottish as he watches Murray melt into a GingaNinjaLoser on the small screen whilst Elvis watches adverts on the big screen.

Asda raise prices for cheese and beer.

Waitrose declared a National Park, ten checkouts open, three people seen shopping there in the afternoon.

On the allotment watch, weeds growing, mangetout, courgettes and nose ready for picking.

X1 Peterborough bus 15 minutes late at mid day.

Nobby's thumb still hurting after the sitter he dropped last week.

5/1 on three losses out of four games to be played this weekend. Sunday Seconds a nailed on heavy defeat.

Evens on two of last week's Harrogate tourists not playing for any Narborough side this weekend because of injury.

6/4 on Jacko's Chubbs being opened again by a MILF with melons the size of Big Man's Nadgers. GPS systems worldwide overwhelmed. Jacko says "Not again, I'm off for a Jodrell."

Have a great weekend. You've got half a chance in anywhere but Narborough this week.