After heavy Saturday league losses, all mention by Narborough first and second teams of the weekend rogue tour of the Spa Town of Harrogate banned by Toast tonight at the Community Centre .

Toast laid down the law. Anyone receiving a phone call from Harrogate tourists asking for the Narborough results was instructed to say "Why do you need to know?", "Who do you play for?" , and "Do I know you?"

The firsts capitulated to lowly Hethersett and Tas Valley, with four regular first teamers making themselves unavailable for this game. Skipper Toast, top scoring with 70, was about the only notable effort in a low score of 150, which H & TV passed without too many problems. Opener Chris Hill said afterwards "It was a game of two halves. We didn't bat well, and when we took the field, we didn't bowl well either."

It was a marginally better performance from the second eleven at home, where they lost to Downham, who brought a side reinforced with several players freed up from their vacant fixture in the Alliance Premier League; a practice banned by the Alliance League, but considered perfectly fair and reasonable by the West Norfolk League.

Captain Titch Cornwall said "How did I get eleven out today?" Cymbals said "You didn't." Mick Gorman, making an unusual appearance on Saturdays said "I'm never pleased to play, no, I mean the opposite, whatever that is."

The seconds had to play on a strip only cut at 11.30 that morning, as the original wicket was flooded by the overnight rain that got under the covers. The hope that the new strip would dry out in the sun was unfulfilled. The cloud cover stayed in place all afternoon, the sun failed to appear and the wicket got slower and tackier as the game progressed.

In a wayward opening ten overs, Narborough paid the price for bowling too many four balls, as Downham scored at 8 an over. With a bowling change made at both ends, the merit of taking the pace off the ball was shown by Charlie Collinson and Gormanator. Gormanator bowled like a wet dream in his 12 overs, taking 3 wickets for 46 runs. He got Daniel Bullock out first ball and, as Daniel left the wicket, added insult to injury with the sledge of "you've just been Gorminated." Gormantor then asked if his dropped catch four years ago of Daniel's dad, Colin Bollock, could be erased from the Narborough memory banks, but he was told "Gormator, if you take the rest of Downham's wickets with consecutive balls, we will never forgive you for that." In the end, Narborough did well to hold Downham to 208 for 6 off their 45 overs.

208 was a big ask on the under prepared strip. Downham failed to repeat the generosity of the Narborough opening bowlers, with their unsporting attitude of refusing to pitch the ball half way down the wicket. A good opening stand of 50 ended when Crispy managed to reach a wide and hit it straight to mid off. Nobby had his usual swish with more boundaries than singles in his 42. JonT missed a ton because Nobby woudn't run singles when JonT called them, so JonT finished up on 48.

The match ended with Narborough on 151 for 5 wickets down; a creditable losing draw under Norfolk Alliance rules. Unfortunately, the seconds play in the anacronistic West Norfolk League, so this went down as a loss by 57 runs.

Later on in the Community Centre, Jacko got his Chubbs out to yet another possessor of huge melons and she won £48. Jacko insisted his fund raising project is not a scam, that his choice of winners is not influenced by his obvious fetish for huge melons, and he is hurt by the suggestion that the same key has been duplicated 12 times. "I tested them, and they all work" he said. Nobby was asked to calculate the odds of three consecutive weekly "Open the Box" wins. Nobby told "Jacko - sod the odds, you bin Gorminated too."

Thanks to Canon Stuart Nairn and his best mate for Narborough Cricket Club's prayers being answered that there are no Sunday League games tomorrow. This takes the Slopply Seconds unbeaten record to four weeks. Amazing that the record also matches the number of cancelled league games or blank Sundays this month.

This record will be sorely tested next week with a home league game against Denver. The opening league away game against them this season resulted in fielding only nine players and suffering a nine wicket loss, so it ought not to be too difficult to improve in the return fixture.

Then again, the Sloppy Seconds are a side with a lack of confidence and team spirit as low and deep as the Mariana Trench, so we will probably turn up late and unaware who is in the side, which is one of the few thrills of playing on Sundays these days.