Old Tiffinian 2s 12 v 31 Teddington 2s
The 2nd XV succumb to a more experienced Teddington side
"Old age hath yet his honour and his toil." Alfred Lord Tennyson
This author has been playing for a number of years, and this season ushered in the terrifying realisation that he was the oldest playing member of the club this weekend. With an irritatingly young (and slim) team chucking the ball about, this humble scribe realised that much of the more ‘traditional’ elements of the forward work would have to be done by yours truly. No more roly poly Cass snr, no more old man Apos. A sad day indeed. The warm up was the usual leisurely affair; much effort was spent trying to stop the obscenely hungover McSherry nattering with the spectator(s), and learn the names of everyone.
Tiffs got off to their classic blistering start, with multiple incising carries shredding the far more experienced opposition. Within minutes the hosts were dotting down under the sticks with youngling Studdert (I think) getting his debut try. Conversion made. With the kick off being taken by yours truly and popped to the rampaging Richards, Teddington defenders continued to be scattered like skittles. Things were looking ominous for the visitors until a characteristic brain fart (and woeful tackling) allowed the exceedingly bald (but quite good) Teddington 13 to crash over to level the scores. Not long after another stupid penalty allowed the visitors to inch ahead.
The remainder of the half was a cagey affair. In the loose the hosts had the visitors on the ropes; in attack the men in white were consistently making yards, with the tall, dark and handsome Richards bending the line with ease. The lightweight centre partnership of Studdert and McConnell were also proving a handful, and more than standing up in defence.
Unsurprisingly the more venerable Teddington team decided to keep it tight. While the club will always be delighted to see three new front rowers turn up for a match, the visiting front rows were considerably beefier (fatter) than the new boys. This was unpleasant, and although Tiffs only lost one against the head, there were numerous knock ons and filthy ball for the backs to pay with. The ref, as a former prop, was more than happy to ensure that each scrum was properly contested, and unfortunately the blood capsules couldn’t be located to provide some respite. However Tiffs were putting bodies on the deck, and the Teddington bench was rapidly depleting due to injuries by the time the half time whistle went.
That’s when things started to go downhill. Cass jr had to leave and, not long after conceding a try, Staples jr succumbed to the curse of the glass limb for which his clan is so well known for. Now down to 13, and the loss of tackling machine Staples beginning to show, Teddington began to pull clear. At this point exhaustion kicked in, and I can’t really remember what else happened. The only other highlights were me making a trademark breakaway, and then being called back as the ref had rolled his ankle and couldn’t keep up (there was a clear run to the tryline!), and McConnell grabbing an intercept with the last play of the match.
The aftermatch affair was far more enjoyable that the second half. Nips turned up from his sojourn to the veneral diseases clinic to run the bar [update – he’s completely clean ladies], and multiple debut pints were chopped with McSherry finally showing something akin to pace.
McConnell – Playing in the unfamiliar position of outside centre, the pie avoiding youngling acquitted himself well and grabbed a cheeky intercept to make the score slightly more respectable.
The front row – All on their debuts, and all considerably smaller and younger that their hefty opposite numbers. Only one scrum lost against the head, and strong all round performances in the loose.
Mom – Richards – So good he’s unlikely to feature in the 2s again. With the absence of any of the regular carriers for the 2s, he got through an absolute mountain of work in the loose
DoD – Cass jr/Lee (Minuk) – the first is perhaps a little harsh as Cass jr had made everyone aware he was only around for the first half. However Saturday is rugby day as any fool knows, and by the same standard Lee (Minuk) also earns his half pint by pulling out at the last minute.