The "Real" Game of Rugby
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ALISTAIR WILLMAN WRITES ABOUT THE "REAL' RUGBY GAME ........
Take a look around you, dear reader, and what do you see? A warm, cosy bar full of people chatting and schmoozing? A welcoming pint of ale and a hearty meal? Or maybe you are standing on the touchline with the delightful Penns Place pastures around you and stumbled upon this piece by accident.
Well, firstly, thank you for reading. Secondly, consider the following.
I am an erstwhile member of the RFU team who milled around the open spaces of Twickenham on international and cup-final days for a number of years. Yes, I watched international and club rugby at Twickenham for free. Lucky you, say you, and you would be correct - up to point.
I have had the great privilege of encountering various personages from the rugby world and beyond, and experienced some unforgettable moments.
Brian Moore was a terrific chap and surprisingly small, Jonathan Davies chatty, charming and surprisingly small; Philip Saint-Andre slammed a door in my face and Jeremy Clarkson may well be a nicer bloke when he is sober. I have even had a brush with royalty when Mike Tindall and his significant other swung by.
When Lawrence Dallaglio left the field for the final time at the end of the 2008 Premiership Final to a two-minute ovation from 82,000 fans, it was a genuine lump-in-the-throat moment; the minute's applause for 'voice of rugby' Bill McLaren was similarly moving.
But enough of the sentimentality: let us talk about the 'Twickenham Experience'.
You pay £70 for a seat that was designed for maximum discomfort and can barely accommodate a size-eight pocked-sized supermodel; you pay £4.00 to drink beer from a plastic cup - although you do get a free beer shower if you happen to be seated in the middle tier; and you pay £3.50 for a burger of indeterminate origin inserted between two lumps of granite-like bread. You may see a theme here: the words 'you pay'.
If you throw in travel, food and a drink, the cost of the 'Twickenham Experience' for a family of four could the best part of £400 on a Five Nations day (not Italy or Samoa, though: the RFU almost has to give tickets away).
That is fine if you get to see a Chris Ashton wonder-try. The trouble is, you will probably won't and even if you do, you are so far away from the action it might well be a streaker.
Throw in a nit-picking official who asks you to remove your shoes because they are not RFU-approved and an hour-long wait at Twickenham station after the game, and you have the complete package. If you're really lucky you may end up watching the game next to someone on a corporate freebie who keeps asking what the rules are.
I have a solution, dear reader. Get thyself down to thine local rugby club and watch Alton or Petersfield - or even Fareham Heathens III for that matter. You may not get to see Ashton but you will be afforded a hearty welcome, you can buy a decently-priced pint of beer, and you can watch Andy Barnes or Will Ford for free. The game may be good, bad or indifferent but at least you will have a an excellent view of the action.
Now that is what I call an experience.
t here.....
ALISTAIR WILLMAN WRITES ABOUT THE "REAL' RUGBY GAME ........
Take a look around you, dear reader, and what do you see? A warm, cosy bar full of people chatting and schmoozing? A welcoming pint of ale and a hearty meal? Or maybe you are standing on the touchline with the delightful Penns Place pastures around you and stumbled upon this piece by accident.
Well, firstly, thank you for reading. Secondly, consider the following.
I am an erstwhile member of the RFU team who milled around the open spaces of Twickenham on international and cup-final days for a number of years. Yes, I watched international and club rugby at Twickenham for free. Lucky you, say you, and you would be correct - up to point.
I have had the great privilege of encountering various personages from the rugby world and beyond, and experienced some unforgettable moments.
Brian Moore was a terrific chap and surprisingly small, Jonathan Davies chatty, charming and surprisingly small; Philip Saint-Andre slammed a door in my face and Jeremy Clarkson may well be a nicer bloke when he is sober. I have even had a brush with royalty when Mike Tindall and his significant other swung by.
When Lawrence Dallaglio left the field for the final time at the end of the 2008 Premiership Final to a two-minute ovation from 82,000 fans, it was a genuine lump-in-the-throat moment; the minute's applause for 'voice of rugby' Bill McLaren was similarly moving.
But enough of the sentimentality: let us talk about the 'Twickenham Experience'.
You pay £70 for a seat that was designed for maximum discomfort and can barely accommodate a size-eight pocked-sized supermodel; you pay £4.00 to drink beer from a plastic cup - although you do get a free beer shower if you happen to be seated in the middle tier; and you pay £3.50 for a burger of indeterminate origin inserted between two lumps of granite-like bread. You may see a theme here: the words 'you pay'.
If you throw in travel, food and a drink, the cost of the 'Twickenham Experience' for a family of four could the best part of £400 on a Five Nations day (not Italy or Samoa, though: the RFU almost has to give tickets away).
That is fine if you get to see a Chris Ashton wonder-try. The trouble is, you will probably won't and even if you do, you are so far away from the action it might well be a streaker.
Throw in a nit-picking official who asks you to remove your shoes because they are not RFU-approved and an hour-long wait at Twickenham station after the game, and you have the complete package. If you're really lucky you may end up watching the game next to someone on a corporate freebie who keeps asking what the rules are.
I have a solution, dear reader. Get thyself down to thine local rugby club and watch Alton or Petersfield - or even Fareham Heathens III for that matter. You may not get to see Ashton but you will be afforded a hearty welcome, you can buy a decently-priced pint of beer, and you can watch Andy Barnes or Will Ford for free. The game may be good, bad or indifferent but at least you will have a an excellent view of the action.
Now that is what I call an experience.
t here.....
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