reacting on information received leeds education carried out undercover surveillence of the pudsey congs v pudsey st lawrence fixture at fulneck school we have concluded that mr pearce the occational u13s scorer was not only moonligting on his teaching duties but scoring for the sworn enemy this allied to the fact that he seemed to have his own son shackeled ,shivering and hungry to the scorers table leads this investigator to believe child enslavement issues are at use .this is backed up by photographic evidence of monies being passed from known child smuggler dom allen (congs capt). a full report will be in the hands of the psl committee by next meeting which club president km moss mbe will preside over actions to be taken with respect to mr d pearce
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LITTLE AND LARGE HAVE LAST LAUGH AT NORTHOWRAM
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David Pearce - 12 minutes ago
Mr.David Pearce, occasional PSL U13s scorer, has issued the following statement through his solicitors, Ralph Middlebrook, Middlebrook, Middlebrook and Sons, in response to the libelous remarks made by Mr.Gerard Sharpe on the Pudsey Saint Lawrence website on 3rd June 2012.
"As solicitors acting on behalf of Mr.Pearce we are compelled to issue the following statement with regard to the attack on the integrity of our client.
1. Mr.Gerard Sharpe is incorrect in his assertion that our client was scoring for the Pudsey Congs 3rd Team at Fulneck on Saturday 2nd June 2012. At this time Mr.Pearce was enjoying a short break with John and Collette Wislon in their Angolan corrugated iron holiday retreat in the slums outside Luanda. Collette Wilson has issued the following statement. 'Och eye, Dave was with us. At the time of the Congs game we were enjoying a barbecued donkey before John took him to the rally organised by the Marxist MPLA opposition. He was definately here."
2. Our client strenuously denies that he has forced his son into cricket scoring. Mr.Pearce was coerced into exposing his son to 3rd team cricket scoring following a campaign of threats and intimidation instigated by 3rd team captain, Mr.Ian Breer, who could not stand the personal and professional shame of leading the third team into another season without a regular scorer. The West Yorkshire Constabulary is currently investigating Mr. Breer's behaviour.
3. Mr.Sharpe's accusation that the Pudsey Congs skipper Dom Allen is involved in child smuggling are spot on.
4. It is our view that Mr.Shape's assault on the integrity of our client has been motivated by the most unpleasant sentiments of envy. It is well known that Mr.Pearce keeps a personal wardrobe of womens clothing far more extensive in range and quality than anything Mr.Sharpe could even dream about. If Mr.Sharpe chooses to umpire U13 matches in cheap and trashy plastic high high heeled ankle boots then that is a matter for him, and him alone.
Ralph Middlebrook, Middlebrook, Middlebrook and Sons, Solicitors.
1 Traitors Gate,
Leeds LS13.
3td June 2012
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