'Mayo' is one of the more experienced members of the squad and perhaps the finest example of God making all men equal- offsetting his pop star good lucks with restricted height and a brain that functions at the level of warming his boots in the shower before a game on cold day. Mayer's is a good father and husband and is particularly attentive to his family's needs between 7 & 8 on a Wednesday and 8.30-9.30 on a Thursday. Mr. Versatile, mayo is dependable in any position he is put having done well across the midfield, at centre forward and at full back and the team looks better for having him in it. 2016 Player of the season. Continued selection likely due to being a family friend of the gaffer.