ST: I originate from Costa Hull but quickly moved from there to spend most of my life in and around Liverpool and Manchester . I moved to Harrogate about 15 years ago where the wife and girls are still based. I came to Shanghai on a years Interim assignment with Interface Modular last June so technically I'm here for another 3 months. However we'll see if Ian Walker spots any potential for a Shanghai goal keeping contract. Who knows! we're in Shanghai where stranger things have happened.

SS: Having spent considerable amount of time on Merseyside which of the following noble Merseyside crafts did you excel at as a kid; shoplifting, breaking & entering, “fencing” stolen property, screwing the Dole, pickpocketing or a combination of the aforementioned?

ST: Well...........I actually lived in quite a posh part of Liverpool ( yes, there was one). You knew it was posh because when you went out on a Saturday night you got glassed over the head with a champagne bottle. However I excelled in Fine Art. In fact I specialised in whiting over the numbers the police had painted on the top of stolen Ford escorts. However to counteract your very unfair characterisation of "scallies" two of my most skilled, intelligent and trusted colleagues are now working with McLaren touring the world on the F1 circuit. They honed their trade outside Anfield whipping wheels off parked cars in record time, replacing and them with bricks, returning the tyres once the "valeting" money was paid.

SS: A little trivia question for you. Your background connects you to both Hamilton and Liverpool. However you are not the first famous Scot to share that connection. Who was the other one?

ST: I had a Scottish mate called Mike Hamilton who got smacked and laid out cold by a scouse girl in the Hacienda nights club in Bootle about 25 years ago. Apart from this obvious connection I think you've got me on this one!

[Note: Simon clearly never watched ITV's Saint & Greavsie. Former Liverpool and Scotland striker Ian St John honed his skills at Hamilton Accies}

SS: We understand your father performed on the international rugby stage. Can you share with us a bit of his rugby background?

ST: He did. He was injured playing in his early 20s and took up refereeing initially in the Manchester then Liverpool Societies. He passion was school games and he would be given Wednesday afternoons off by his employer to travel and referee. He refereed his first schoolboy International in 1968 (Wales vs Scotland) and did another nine internationals before moving upto the "big boys" panel. He did three full internationals in the 69-71 seasons including an All Black game vs Ireland on one of their British Isles tours. He loved the big game atmosphere but hated the "politics" of the RFU so he stopped refereeing and took up assessing. He was asked to take under his wing an up and coming young referee called Fred Howard and the rest is "history"as they say ( unless you are under 35 in which case the chances are you will never have heard of him!) . FH became one of the best referees produced by the RFU. Dad was still having the odd game in his 60s. He only ever refereed me once. I was playing for Hungerford ( club he founded) vs The Reading West Indians on a Sunday morning on Hungerford Common. Its the only time I was every sent off. My assessment of him?..... brilliant man manager ....s**t referee!!!

SS: Rumours are that your own rugby career was fairly decent and that you achieved representative honours. Can you takes us through the highlights of your rugby career?

ST: Living in the posh part of Liverpool I went to a "posh" school where the subjects of bottle dynamics and " famous joy riders 1971-78" were high on the list of school specialisms. However despite being a football city , we were a rugby school and we had a famous rugby coach in Mike Slemen. Like most rugby schools we played Wednesday and Saturdays and with Dad refereeing the sport was kind of engrained into you. I played North of England Schools and had final England schools trial but missed out. My consolation was that all the selected back line went onto get a string of full England caps. However I struck lucky. For the third game of the 5 nations , against Wales, I was called onto the bench as a replacement as the number one , a guy called Ian Metcalf was injured. The following week the number two was injured playing for his school so I got called up for the final international of the season vs France at Wilmslow in Manchester. We lost but I got my cap! After this I played at Sale for three seasons (with Cotton et al) whilst away college and then moved to Newcastle and played at Gosforth. Which leads me seamlessly into answering the next question!!

SS: You mentioned that you are still chasing a famous Scottish rugby international for a debt and that he kept his up to GBP 1.49 of loose change in a rather unusual place. Any information you would like to share with us?

ST: Firstly on this could I just say that I AM NOT and HAVE NO INTENTION of chasing this person for this debt. I would also like to say I have NO INTENTION of revealing this persons identity. I was playing for Newcastle Polytechnic away at Alnwick on a wednesday evening. Coming back from the game a competition was held on the bus, led by this famous Scottish rugby international where the object of the game was to see how much money you could store in in an area of the male gender, where lets say people from Israel would be immediately at a distinct disadvantage!! The main rule of the game was that only coins of small denominations were allowed ( which makes this even more remarkable) and it was generally agreed that 50ps should be excluded as they would today be compared to the pains of experiencing a chinese foot massage! From what I could remember it was a close run thing. I fell in the first round as modesty prevailed and I also have a very low pain threshold! I believe from memory that there was a dispute over the winning amount because no one wanted to touch the coins as they rolled around the bus. However GBP 1.49 was recovered and registered as the winning total.
I haven't seen this famous scottish rugby international for some years but yes he is still in my debt. I believe however his wife now calls hin 25p! Shame!

[Note: SS understands that the rugby international in question has a brother called Gavin who also played for Scotland. We are doing more digging to confirm the identity]

SS: Outside of sport do you have any unusual interests or accounts of unusual experiences that you would like to share with us.

ST: This a bit of an unfair question as how can living in Shanghai not muster up some unusual experiences ! However apart the welsh speaking hooker on Nanjing Road and a 97 year old Tiaciangnese lady fixing a multi million pound carpet making machine by talking to it, no not really. I am a Level three Foil (Fencing) coach though and there aren't too many of those around.

SS: Having had the privilege of watching the Shanghai Scots play football on numerous occasions what do you make of Manager Bradley’s tactics? Do you think Paula Webster’s refusal so far to pull on the Shanghai Scottish shirt is down to a Craig Levein-Steven Fletcher style rift between manager and player and if so what advice what you offer Bradley “to patch things” up so to speak?

ST: Well with running a business that has 300 chinese in it you are often faced with these man management dilemmas. One of the ways I have found of smoothing out this rift is through role reversal where the people concerned, experience what emotions, frailties and insecurities each of them are going through. This is a slightly more complex problem however as Paula will no doubt do a better job both on and off the pitch than Manager Bradley, and is probably more mentally stable. However at this stage of the relationship it sounds as if no one knows in which camp the resistance lies. Is it in the Webster camp where the the resistance may be down to the lack of moisture absorbed by the shirt, which in turn may not allow her to show off her assets to the full or could it be in the Bradley camp where the reverse effect would occur? My guess is I don't think Manager Bradley fully appreciates the assets of Paula's ball skills. I suggest therefore we role reverse for a game. Manager Bradley becomes the player in a Webster selected and managed team. The Manager then has the option of "pulling Mike off" at half time. The whole issue will then be resolved in less than 10 seconds.

SS: Nicknames are starting to take shape amongst the Shanghai Scots namely; Serenity (Brian Doyle), Rent Boy (Scott Hutchison), Chocolate Chip (Phil Smiley). Shanghai Scots will now give you the privilege of bestowing a nickname on any other player of your choice. Who would that player be, what would be the nickname and why?

ST: Well to adopt the Shanghai Scots style of football which is "attack is the best form of defence" I would have to include in the Hall of Fame Alan Jope. On his gravestone should be engraved the nickname of "Spitfire" because like Douglas Bader, he too has no legs.

SS: Anything you would like to add?

ST: Yes. How can a person born in Hull and who has only played rugby south of the border qualify to become a Shanghai Scot? Well both parents are Scottish. Both are born in Hamilton. My father moved to England when he was three to live in Manchester. My mother lived in Hamilton until she went to college in Manchester. They met at college and it took them a while to realise they were born the same year and within 5 miles of each other. I also drink a lot. I think this qualifies?