Saturday 28th January, such a beautiful day for a game of rugby. The lads met at 12.25, feeling good, looking great. There were however, few notable absentees. Messrs Finan and Watters most noticeable of all; Gaybott less so in the wake of J Mac and Gaynors recent run of excellent form. He was off on a rather asexual trip to Paris with his girlfriend, and with a new and rather more obtrusive cast, it looked like he was going to see no action whatsoever.

Ahead, to the game. A good warm up was followed by some inspirational words, and they’re off. Thorne took a good ball from the kick off, playing a few phases of tight rugby (what was expected???). Within a minute however, the ever-loitering presence that is Robert Alexander Fawdry capitalised on a loose pass, and showed a fresh pair of heels to convert the interception into a try. Some half decent play from the medics ensued. Will Watkinson, a constant menace from nine broke through, and with one man to beat, found Big DE as the only possible recipient. Dave did something he doesn’t often do, looked up and turned on the gas. He fell short, but managed to release an offload to the tallest man the world has ever seen. Crashing over the line this giant went, only to drop the ball over it; if only he had a larger little finger. Constant pressure from the boys in RED, resulted in some fantastic penalty kicking from that beautiful boy McLeod. However his beauty faded, as something of a standard occurrence that afternoon happened; a boot connected with his face and he was off, with half an ear about to fall off. The Thorne player must have slipped; in fact they were all slipping around for much of the game. Even more drama as the half drew to a close. Poor defenceless Lewi was ‘butted, knocking his two front gnashers a good inch back in his mouth. He was of course upset, the referee sensing this blew for the half, and ran away, Lewi chased, but didn’t get far.

The second half followed much as the first finished, as Thorne tried to bully the Medicals off the pitch. Play continued back and forth, however medics showed some more clinical play, and went over for a second try through Sh*t Chat Causer. The introduction of a few subs vitalised the medics play, Cusworth, Amer (who seemed unsure of where he was going), McHale, Jonny and Rob all playing a great role. Two more tries followed for the medics, another for Fawdry, and yet another for the unstoppable force, Joseph 'Teflon' Gaynor. A few short breaks in play, due to some Thorne injuries, gave time for Sandler to propose his legal plan of action. We have lots of witnesses boys, lets prosecute. As the game wound towards its end, most of the medics appeared to lose concentration. All bar from Amer in fact, who decided that he was going right, yes that was it, he’s going right, just incase you were wondering. The lack of concentration highlighted a fragility in the medics defence, and Thorne worked through from a short lineout to score a try.

Time’s up boys, and another good win in the coliseum that is Fortress Norton, an undefeated record spanning back beyond Charlemagne. Time for a good old social, may I now take the opportunity to thank Mike Watters for bringing along his delightful friend Phillip. I do hope he can come back again, for more gooch tie and bunder drinking antics!