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Player profile - Garrath Bell

Player profile - Garrath Bell

Michael McCarthy24 Nov 2015 - 21:02
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https://www.pitchero.com/clubs

The long awaited profile for Gaz!

Name - Garrath Daffyd Bell
Age - 31
Height - 4"10
Weight - Error
Special abilities - incomprehensible speech / own gravitational pull.
Favourite past times - mud baths
Previous clubs - Eureka, West hull, Nottingham trent university, Nottingham outlaws, Nottingham moderns, Eccles, cadishead rhinos, Mancunians, burnage(rugby slut)

Garrath has been with the club for 6 years and has settled in well. Gaz is a born leader but unfortunately when he speaks nobody understands him. We are yet to employ a translator who can do the job properly.

Garrath likes to make an entrance when turning up to games. He would arrive in his daewoo matriz expertly driving it on the two driver side wheels due to a weight distribution problem. He ensures that he takes his full supplement of protein vitamins and minerals. If your wondering which one he is when you turn up he's the one outside destroying either whole chickens or a hog roast like some sort of caveman. Animal fat dripping down his front row beard.

Garrath is a willing runner and always does damage on any crash ball. Except against birchfield when he got hit so hard he did a triple backflip and would have won gold if he didn't land on his head.

Garrath is there every week when possible and you can't fault his commitment. He is also the only player who has been tackled by a puddle. It then took some persuasion to get him back out of it.

Garraths main strengths are scrummaging and his line outs never miss their targets. Even if the opposition gets the ball he was aiming for them, giving them a chance to 'get in game'. Garrath prides himself on being correct and only talks in facts despite being called out on a number of occasions for being wrong. But according to him this never happened thus maintaining him being right.

In all seriousness though he is a real asset to the club and fulfilling fixture and social secretary roles. We look forward to having Garrath with us for many years to come if only he would stop getting wiped out by little hands!

Our very own Garrath Daffyd Bell! We love you!

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