There was a distinct tingling sensation charging through the Alies' ranks producing a similar reaction when brushing too close to Matron's nightie as they prepared body and mind for the first away game of the season. It made little difference that that the fixture at Whitehaven was billed as a "friendly" because 13 clambered aboard the "Big White Whale" which was parked, on arrival at The Lane, within sight of El-Cid's sentry box which had been moved to the correct side of the entrance gate.

Like the beginning of a new school year, there was an air of mystery and pulsing anticipation surrounding the visit to Whitehaven but it was to be no mundane exercise book covering experience because it was to be Big Norman's Day, a return to his roots as a worthy Vale of Lune President in addition to being a proud Cumbrian.

Once the coach had turned off the M6 at Penrith, Big Norman's love and affection for his county came bubbling out as he effortlessly slipped into travel courier mode, pointing out villages, inns, crags, lakes on an ever changing landscape with mists on the tops of sun kissed valleys. The commentary intensified as Whitehaven came in to view; familiar streets where family and friends lived, historic buildings, all were emotionally linked to Big Norman's past.

Inside the clubhouse at Richmond Terrace the President was greeted from all corners by relatives, almost everyone in Whitehaven appeared to related to Big Norman, and long standing friends. It is important to acknowledge and thank these committee members and supporters because they were quick to volunteer to transport Vale players and their supporters back to the clubhouse after the game had finished at the Copeland Athletics Stadium.

The reasons for these improvised travel arrangements were twofold. Firstly, advance warning had been received that the game would be played at a different venue because the cricket season was in full swing and there was a game being played close to the rugby pitch at "The Playground." Secondly, when the Alies returned to the coach after some pre-match liquid refreshment in a snug, friendly clubhouse, Alan was unable to fire up the monster, where was the Solicitor and his collection of spanners when you need him?-so taxis were hastily summoned, with the Alies arriving shortly after kick off. After the game the coach was still being worked on which is when Whitehaven's supporters stepped nobly into the breach to whisk everyone back to base.

A number of Alies were unable to make the trip to Whitehaven. The Major, after his exploits at the "Ageas Bowl" and its surroundings, was on a mission in Derbyshire that involved cable cars in Matlock, no doubt at some stage he would have been dangling from a gondola firing a sten-gun from the hip.

Morse was carrying out consort duties and with such a demanding social programme to fulfil he could end up like a compatriot of Gilly's who had become addicted to the hokey-cokey but as he told Gilly, " I turned myself around, that's what it's all about."

After leaving the Vale in the morning there was brief stop to adjust the passenger door and Titanium was told to put his passport away as it was not required because Big Norman had squared things with the Cumbria Border Agency, then a delicious aroma of a meat pie wafted in the air. The Borough Treasurer was spotted munching his way through one of Celia's signature dishes that the Alies had drooled over on the way to Normandy.

Apart from the odd slow "Saturday Driver" that annoyed the Accountant, the journey to Whitehaven passed without incident, the only concerns surfaced when the coach sulked, but the transport problems were quickly solved. On the way to the Stadium Mr Chips discussed glaciated valleys but was more interested in the mileage of the Skoda Octavia he was being driven in, the answer from the driver was an eye watering 250,000 plus, and it was the second engine!

Muggy also had a tear jerking moment when he produced a high tariff score with a tumbling sequence down the steps in the stand. He was a surprise visitor to the technical area to have an arm and a leg swabbed down by Jemma and two large plasters applied, but he was no worse for his adventure.

Prior to departing for the return journey plaques were exchanged, presentations and awards made and tentative discussions took place for a fixture at The Lane next season. A tasty curry was consumed which was highly rated by Titanium who gave it his seal of approval, because as has been mentioned before, he knows a thing or two about curries.

On the way back the long forgotten delights of travelling, with full bladders, on a coach without toilets were revisited. No one was hung through the door or inspection panels lifted because Alan pulled in at the first secluded lay-by to the huge relief of many. With nature all around, and to shouts of mind the nettles, the Oil Tycoon pointed out the flora and fauna to be found in the hedgerow to a jostling crowd as nature took its steaming course.

A squirming, twisting, cross legged, Jemma had to wait patiently until Tebay Services but her ordeal was made slightly easier with a wide ranging, animated conversation with the Alies, not very hard to imagine, which perhaps helped to take her mind off more pressing matters, as the miles slipped by; she was able to make the toilets without any accidents, but it was a close run thing.