Vale of Lune RUFC
Club News
RUB A DUB,TUB.
Smoke was curling from the cottage chimney, the sun was shining on a winter's afternoon and the pitch had been wonderfully prepared at The Lane.
It does not take much to kick start the Historian and when he spotted where the referee hailed from he quickly launched into the history of Scotland, the Presbyterian Church and Alex Salmond, all delivered with an accent very familiar to those who fondly remember “Dr Finlay’s Casebook.” He also threatened to wear his Manx Laxey Tartan trews, at the President’s Ball on June 15! But will they be in the colours of the Hunting Tartans, ancient, standard or modern? The world needs to know.
To add to the Caledonian atmosphere he produced his finely engraved hip flask, “it holds more than you think,” containing some welcome Grouse on a chilly, but sunny afternoon.
The Major again sported his beret and was very much in Maurice Chevalier mode with a hint of “Mr Hulot.” All that missing was a Gauloises hanging from the bottom lip, a Gallic shrug or two and a line of Can-Can dancers doing their bit for entente-cordial along the East Terrace.
Now the Alies are a well rounded bunch, very familiar with the works of Darwin, David Attenborough and Bill Oddie, so their intellectual antenna was crackling when the Platelayer announced his latest finds, which did have a connection with shapely legs, when he was on his bin emptying duties.
The Platelayer had noticed empty tins of an ointment called “Dog Oil.” Apparently this product has unique properties for helping with muscular problems which immediately alerted the Alies’ radar. Over the years they have applied various unguents to their limbs, “Deep Heat,” “Fiery Jack,” goose grease, a mustard bath, all with various degrees of success and a heavenly aroma.
The odd massage or two has been known to relieve some of the knotted muscles, but will matron approve of “Dog Oil?” If it has the desired effect, who knows? It was originally used to alleviate muscular problems with canines, in particular whippets, but whether it will help the agility of Matron’s tabby who is susceptible to periods of non activity, remains to be seen.
While the Alies supped another splendid guest beer “Hogshead,” they were entertained by son of Gilly with tales that brought back memories of a golden era of Vale rugby in the eighties. Stories of fireworks in Kirkby Stephen, tables at London Scottish, benches at Tynedale, marquees at Fylde, the goings on in the jockey’s quarters at Kelso, soon had the round table rocking with infectious laughter, including those who were not there.
Humour is of course universal and once Steve had finished his first anecdote others quickly followed with many variations on the theme to end what had been a quiet day by the Alies’ standards, but perhaps they were preparing themselves for a visit to Wigton, certainly Big Norman was filling up his little black book with names for the coach.
To add to the Caledonian atmosphere he produced his finely engraved hip flask, “it holds more than you think,” containing some welcome Grouse on a chilly, but sunny afternoon.
The Major again sported his beret and was very much in Maurice Chevalier mode with a hint of “Mr Hulot.” All that missing was a Gauloises hanging from the bottom lip, a Gallic shrug or two and a line of Can-Can dancers doing their bit for entente-cordial along the East Terrace.
Now the Alies are a well rounded bunch, very familiar with the works of Darwin, David Attenborough and Bill Oddie, so their intellectual antenna was crackling when the Platelayer announced his latest finds, which did have a connection with shapely legs, when he was on his bin emptying duties.
The Platelayer had noticed empty tins of an ointment called “Dog Oil.” Apparently this product has unique properties for helping with muscular problems which immediately alerted the Alies’ radar. Over the years they have applied various unguents to their limbs, “Deep Heat,” “Fiery Jack,” goose grease, a mustard bath, all with various degrees of success and a heavenly aroma.
The odd massage or two has been known to relieve some of the knotted muscles, but will matron approve of “Dog Oil?” If it has the desired effect, who knows? It was originally used to alleviate muscular problems with canines, in particular whippets, but whether it will help the agility of Matron’s tabby who is susceptible to periods of non activity, remains to be seen.
While the Alies supped another splendid guest beer “Hogshead,” they were entertained by son of Gilly with tales that brought back memories of a golden era of Vale rugby in the eighties. Stories of fireworks in Kirkby Stephen, tables at London Scottish, benches at Tynedale, marquees at Fylde, the goings on in the jockey’s quarters at Kelso, soon had the round table rocking with infectious laughter, including those who were not there.
Humour is of course universal and once Steve had finished his first anecdote others quickly followed with many variations on the theme to end what had been a quiet day by the Alies’ standards, but perhaps they were preparing themselves for a visit to Wigton, certainly Big Norman was filling up his little black book with names for the coach.
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