Certain recent events in international cricket have raised the issue of ball tampering in the beautiful game. Having reviewed the events and conducted a full internal investigation the club can confirm that ball tampering is rife within Waverley.
A club insider said the team's "leadership group" had a plan, carried out by an unnamed senior professional, to tamper with the balls to "get an advantage" in the post match showers.
While the Australians used sticky tape and grit, the preferred method within the club involves talcum powder and the element of surprise.
The club has identified the individual who has admitted "changing the condition of balls" but this was happily contained to post-match shower frivolity.
Updated 20:54 - 26 Mar 2018 by Marcus Carmichael