Gastric back from the wilderness but ONs have too much finesse
A team 15 vs 33 ONs II
Wellingborough welcomed local rivals ONs to Cut Throat Lane looking to bounce back from last week’s disappointing loss to Shelford.
It was a poignant day for all involved as Boro welcomed back exile Rhys 'gastric band' Logan to the side. It was felt that Liam Price held back the front rows mobility somewhat last week; Rhys’ return from a recent all you can eat Egyptian holiday was a timely boost to the team.
News of Eddie Johnson's call up to the 1st's reverberated around the 2nd team changing room adding extra incentive for the game- the team knew that they were 1 terrible game away from a call up, so needed a big game and good attitude. The early signs in the warm up seemed positive, strengthened when Nathan Gardiner consumed a pre-game pint of prune juice to help stem any period pains for during the game. John Crabtree gave a rousing speech and the team headed out onto the pitch.
Boro kicked off to a youthful looking ONs team and soon put the visitors under pressure. A strong set piece and a orgasmic backs break through the middle led to captain Andy Seaton powering over for the opening try just to the side of the posts. The score should have come earlier in the move but Tom Knight’s recent weight gain led to him being caught short of the line, Simon Knight looked on in disgust as to what his son had become, the American diet seeming all too tempting for Hoff to avoid. Inspired by Luke's Smiths hot kicking form, Seaton went on to miss the conversion.
Boro went on the attack again from the kick off but ONs we're looking to play a wide expansive game which was starting to find holes in the Boro defence and eventually scored in the corner. The perfectly tanned, waxed and great smelling (confirmed by Adam Parker) ONs fly half added the extras much to the disgust of Seaton and Smith.
Boro trudged on but soon found themselves further behind as quick ball from a ruck was spun down the line and ONs scored under the posts and the extras were added. This was quickly followed by another score, a positive phase of play from Boro ended in the ball being spilled and the ONs winger hacking the ball all the way to the try line. Nathan Gardiners’ tampon momentarily slipped out at the decision to award the try, but with some chocolate and a rub of his tummy he was okay to continue.
The half ended with Luke/Joel Smith doing his best impression of a retard/Tom Daley, luckily the final pike/somersault rotation from Smith whilst fielding a kick took the ball into touch and the half was over.
Half time Boro 5 ONs 21
The second half started in similar fashion to first with Boro pounding the defence like Parker at a buffet. 40 year old Phil Meyer, crashed close to the line off a scrum but realised he would never quite be the same player as his on-looking younger, taller brother Tom Meyer. The pressure eventually paid off as Jack ‘Reverse Head’ Bryan fed a delicate pass to Freddie Davidson to swan dive in at the corner. Davidson aided by his newly modelled go faster (awful) haircut. In a shocking twist, the conversion was missed.
It was at this moment that Seaton felt the time was right to open his box of tricks. Taking the ball under pressure he sent up an audacious and completely meant cross field kick that was disguised as a clearance kick, the ball sailed behind him and the rest of the team only to be caught by Darrell Raynard who darted up the pitch and off loaded to Phil Meyer, who waddled up the pitch luckily finding Adam White on his shoulder who did well to score in the corner. Jack Bryan took over the kicking duties but again the extras went begging. Seaton quickly took the decision to retire this move from the playbook whilst it had a 100% success ratio. Rumour is however, that Pete Vickers is keen to introduce it to the 1st team, but his boot may not be cultured enough to reproduce such magic.
Boro's tails were up at this point now they were within one score. Connor Millard made a fantastic break only for it to be halted as he was ‘rock bottomed’ by the ONs second row. Unfortunately this was the last spark from Boro, the game turned once more and the visitors superior fitness levels started to kick in. Silly mistakes started to cost the home side territory and ONs scored a couple of quick-fire tries to take the game away from the hosts.
A much improved performance from the whole squad against a strong ONs outfit. All 19 players put in a committed display at the level required for the remainder of the season. The squad asked themselves at the end of the game ‘Would Eddie Johnson being available have helped?’, the squad answered as one, ‘No’.
Final score Boro 15 ONs 33
Match Report provide by SeaYer © (Any complaints please speak to Phil Meyer)