In this season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, as 18 stout yeomen of Weston of Weston made their way down the hill into the quaint market town of Hitchin, one couldn’t help but be reminded of Keats glorious ode to Autumn.

A weakened sun bathed the ground in dappled sunlight and the mood in the changing area was happy and carefree

But enough of this fanciful bollo*ks
To the game

The Weston side had a slightly unfamiliar feel to it
Up front two returning powerhouse props Jacek Zbucki and Luke Richards, between them the grizzled presence of Ray Webb, this was a front row that was about half the weight and twice the speed it used to be.
In the row the menacing presences of Laurence Meiklereid and James Whitley,
The back three, the inspirational Captain Kenny, laughing boy Nathan Ripley and at No8, scalp swathed in factor 50 and cursing the UV gods, Ben Dewen.

At scrum half, we fielded a scrum cap, 2 knee braces, some shin pads and thigh supports, beneath all of which may or may not have lurked Martin Brace, distinguishable only by some gingery wisps of beard poking above his neckline, the outside half was Rambo, looking almost (but not quite) not fat after his pre-season efforts
The ever more muscled Dave Roberts at inside centre offered a brooding presence and outside him the bronzed Adonis, Luke Holmes (AKA, the patron saint of sunbeds)
On the wings were a couple of Charlies…….. Sissy on the left and Incognito Charlie who changes his name once a fortnight for what one can only assume are nefarious reasons, on the right.
Farmer boy Wilson back in his accustomed position of full back completed the starting complement.

Weston started brightly, Ben Dewen and Leo Riddett (hang on, where did he appear) making forceful charges into the opposition half, last weeks Achillean weakness was swiftly laid to rest as we efficiently cleaned out the ruck and presented clean ball for Brace to find Brown, however after 15 minutes last seasons Achillean weakness surfaced to punish us.
A penalty to Hitchin awarded on the Weston 10 mtr line was quickly tapped by their livewire No9 as the Weston players casually ambled back to their marks, 3 passes later and Hitchin were 7 points to the good. To add injury to insult, Ben Wilson aggravated a thigh problem and was required to leave the proceedings to be replaced by Will (someone please find out his surname) the Winger.

Weston soon struck back, Luke Holmes latched on to a perfectly timed Craig Brown offload and scorched the defence from 40 mtrs out, leaving a trail of desperate defenders in his wake. Brown added the extras from in front.

Cue, a period of Weston dominance as Zbucki joined the fray after finally finding his boots and Riddett adding his presence in the front row, the villagers, in spite of being considerably lighter than their counterparts, destroying the scrums and controlling the rucks, Richards, Meiklereid and Dewen were making solid ground with every carry and were ably supported by the efficient clearing out of the pack, Whitley in particular seemed to have a deep and pathological intent on smashing as many Hitchin bodies as possible.

The next try for Weston came courtesy of a piece of individual brilliance from Charlie ? (CJ…).
Weston pressure on the Hitchin 22 seemed to be going nowhere when he received a loose ball from the back of a breakdown, stepping first one way and then back on himself he shrugged off the attentions of claret shirts, hot stepping through the defence to touch down next to the posts, an easy 2 pointer for Rambo to give Weston a lead of 14 – 7 approaching the break
Perhaps it was the prospect of warm tap water, or possibly the thought of the kindly encouraging words they could expect from their coach that made Weston decide to not compete for the few remaining minutes of the half. 2 knockons, 2 penalties and a lack of tackling allowing the Hedgehogs an easy try wide out.
Fortunately the conversion kick was missed, unfortunately Luke Richards was hurt in the build up and took no further part, it had however been a good return to the fray for the new improved lightweight prop forward.
Following the half time discussion in which a few points of improvement had been mildly suggested by the coaching staff, with Sam Witham taking his place in the forward line Weston came out with a renewed vigour, Ripley coming out of the blindside completely cut in half a would be Hitchin runner, from the spilt ball Zbucki went on a charge like some really pissed off Polish rhino, smashing and carrying with him a heap of Hitchin defenders, quick ball from Brace to Brown who found Dave Roberts, another pissed off Rhino (this one not Polish) who scattered even more defenders, quick recycling and the ever present Captain Kenny popped up to feed Charlie Sissens in acres of space and a clear run to the line (Your intrepid reporter was unsighted at this point so cannot say exactly what happened, however it resulted in Charlie winning the much coveted post match Jack of the Day award, so draw your own pictures).
In spite of not scoring this had to be a blueprint for Weston success, just a few minutes later, Will (someone please find out his surname) the Winger thought he had his debut try only to be called back for a forward pass.
This Weston phase play was sure to bring success and so it proved, from cleanly won lineout the ball was moved left to Brown, Roberts(D) ran the decoy and in an almost carbon copy of the opening try Holmes hammered through the defence to score his 4th try of the season, sundries added by Brown and Weston 2 clear scores ahead.
The next 15 minutes proved to be a coaches nightmare, as the famous rugby playing Oscar Wilde once said “ to drop one ball inside your own 22 might be regarded as a misfortune, to drop 2 looks like carelessness, to do it a third time means you are a complete bunch of bellend f***wits” thus Weston conspired to present Hitchin with 2 tries (one converted) and a 24 -21 lead with 3 minutes left on the clock.
It is at times such as these that true character shows, Kenny roused his troops, exhorting them to one final hurrah.
The kick off from Brown was right on the money, Ripley chasing, hit the catcher perfectly taking the man and dislodging the ball. From the resultant scrum Weston launched wave after wave of attack against a rapidly eroding Hitchin defence, accuracy and precision at the breakdown was imperative as the referee had already indicated that time was up, Charlie Sissens, Sam Witham and Dave Roberts all got close, Craig Brown had a dart that was only just scragged back. Eventually the pressure told Charlie(who shall not be named) taking an inside ball and showing great strength to force himself over the whitewash.
Lovely conversion from wide out by Brown to give Weston their first win of the season

Scorers
Tries: Holmes(2), X? (2)
Cons: Brown (4)

MOM Luke Holmes