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Saturday 7th May 2016 – History being re made!

Saturday 7th May 2016 – History being re made!

Gavin Belcher8 May 2016 - 20:35
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History re made

On as sunny day in early May Wheatley Rugby Club gathered for the revised ‘Wheatleympiad Games’ – A game formed before the Olympics by the ancient Greek.

The games committee members, James Pollard and Sanda Mpanza, the new Ant and Dec, oversaw the triumph games where anticipation was high.

The newly selected captains had to then gather their teams through a round of primary school type selection. Much to everyone’s surprise, Gav Belcher was not last to be selected. Team names were also decided – George Van de Burgh’s team name, Cripples and Co, was unintentionally fitting as three of the team can be classed as cripples.

The first game “A Healthy Start”. Sanda, strolling out of the clubhouse grinning (which only got bigger with every game) with Weetabix smeared in peanut butter. The team that ate three, wins.
As always, James Butler tried to cheat but got caught, again! This resulted in a penalty points being added to his team.

After an enthralling 10 minutes or so the victors were crowned – Sons of pitches.

Results after one round
Points
1- Sons of pitches 1
2- A-Team 2
3- Cripples and Co 3
4- Liquid bliss 4
5- The try hards 5

The second game “Ladyboy Showdown”. Basically beer pong but with an elimination twist. Some rules were given but not really adhered to and this time Gav Belcher was deemed to have cheated and his team penalised.

Due to the beer having been consumed shouting happened and the accuracy was lacking – there is a pun in there about Wheatley seniors and their accuracy this season. However, a winner was crowned – The A-Team.

Results after two rounds
Points
1- A-Team 3
2- Sons of pitches 5
3- Cripples and Co 5
4- Liquid bliss 7
5- The try hards 10

The third game “Los Pollos Hermanos”. Egg throwing to everyone else. This was due to be played by only two team members from each team. However, Sanda bought too many eggs so other team members could play for style points.

What transpired is Dan Rule does not have any style and broke his egg before the game had actually started!

Jack Smith also was never going to do well in this game as he can barely catch a size 5 egg shaped ball let alone a chicken egg…

With some actually quite impressive distances reached the victors were crowned – A-Team.

Results after three rounds
Points
1- A-Team 4
2- Cripples and Co 7
3- Sons of pitches 8
4- Liquid bliss 11
5- The try hards 15

The fourth game “Skyscrapers” or Jenga. Team players battled it out not to topple the skyscraper. If you’re a forward, this game isn’t for you as Phil Butler expertly showed the crowd by pulling out the block that had the most resistance toppling the scraper.

A quick game, it took longer to re stack the tower than to topple it, The try hards finally got their first win!

Results after four rounds
Points
1- A-Team 6
2- Cripple and Co 10
3- Sons of pitches 11
4- The try hards 16
5- Liquid bliss 16

The fifth game “Steve Redgrave” involving fitness and drinking. Participants would need to run up to the water bottles spin five times around and run back and down a bottle of Becks. Seemed alright until Ant or Dec said it would have to drank upside down.

Much laughter, drowning in beer (thanks George) and a pink belly later winners were crowned – Cripples and Co. Although the Poochies pink belly was the real winner.

Results after five rounds
Points
1- A-Team 10
2- Cripples and Co 11
3- Sons of pitches 17
4- Liquid bliss 19
5- The try hards 21

THE FINAL ROUND “The Ramsdale Relay” More drinking and more running. The stakes were high as penalties had not been added to the total scores and the crowd could sense an Usain Bolt finally of a game.

Butler was caught again cheating (one day he may learn) But with the final swig of beer and a run ahead Butler (A-Team), Craig (Liquid bliss), Dan Rule (the try hards) and Gav Belcher (Cripples and Co) set off. Butler not understanding that he just needed to finish decided he tackle Dan. He succeeded but allowed Gav to break free only for him to run into Craig. Butler caught up and had a wrestle with Gav dump tackling him near the finish line. The Crowd were in shock until Gav managed to grab Butlers leg forcing him to face plant the ground and took fourth pace much to the excitement of the crowd.

Was this going to be enough to seal the win for Cripples and Co? And would the bonus minus points awarded by chairman Ramsdale for shouting and more shouting alter the top three?

Results after six rounds including penalties
Points
1- Cripple and Co 23
2- Sons of pitches 24
3- Liquid Bliss 24
4- The try hards 24
5- A-Team 26

A victorious Cripple and Co were awarded the Whealteymipad Trophy and were rewarded with free beer all evening and the luxury of hosting this historic game next year.

More importantly the losers were also announced (drum role) A-Team. They went from heros to zeros in a matter of a game. This can only be put down to one thing. That one thing being Butler and his cheating.

Punishment for being duds and losing was a dirty pint, but one being dirtier than the others. Tom, our most improved, was the unlucky soul to pick the dirtiest pint (added back hair from our resident bear). He saw it off and maybe, just maybe the hair he drank may allow him to actually grow a beard...

*There was another game that took place but I only just remembered and cannot be bothered to edit the report. The game was “Royal Rumble” which was bouncing a two pence piece into a plastic cup. One team won and the others lost. This game is like softball and will be dropped next year.

A massive thank you to Ant and Dec for hosting a great games and a huge congratulations to Cripples and Co on winning.

Further reading