Woodies lose match and dignity to Flams.
Flamingo (n): any large wading bird of the family Phoenicopteridae, having a pink-and-red plumage and downward-bent bill and inhabiting brackish lakes
It was a Middle Eastern kind of evening at Newfield on Thursday: the weather was both Sunni and Shi’ite. But the sectarian divides of the Arabian Peninsula have nothing on the rivalry between the Woodcutters and the Eccentric Flamingos.
Bundling up in jumpers and sunglasses, the Woodies took to the field after having won the toss and decided to bowl. With Alan Marlow away in London, our newly-discovered pinch-hitting middle order Mr. Muscle, Steven Hider, opened the bowling. His partner in crime was the only man to have walked from the Ratpack, Prince’s Street to Dalgety Bay, Fife after a night out – Bob Russell.
After a couple of tight overs, Bob had Smith caught by David Bowie at point. Mr. Bowie no doubt upped his game as a result of his son’s presence on the pitch; conscious of the sounds of the glue factory van getting ever closer.
In came Tony O’Hara to join Bob G. at the wicket. It was a case of loose shots meeting louche ones. Tony was soon dismissed by David Wild, who tried bowling a straight ball after 11 wide full tosses.
Bob G. retired for a magnificent 30. Henderson was soon out, run out after some good work by Chris Banks. Craig Vaughan, enjoying his free-range experience away from the wicketkeeping gloves bowled captain Chris Meredith, and the Woodies seemed to be getting back into the game.
In came Barklay wearing a proper helmet and displaying a proper competence, and Woodies’ hearts sank. Luckily, for morale, he was batting with Rob Malan, so we were into the tail. Rob Malan was bowled by a great piece of work from Bowie junior, and Sogs was dismissed by Bowie pater. The only thing slower that Sogs’s running between the wickets is his walk back to the pavilion. The latter is far more satisfying as it’s usually in silence.
In came Neil Granger, who made a quickfire 12. He then hit the ball straight back to the bowler, and called Robbie through for a quick single. Read that last sentence again. No ‘Question of Sport’ prizes for ‘What Happened Next’. Neil took it with the grace and humility of a man who has had a number of sleepless nights (he was still moaning about it in the pub when we left).
Robbie managed to remain unflappable (side note: is Robbie the only Flamingo player who looks like a flamingo?), and was joined by Ben Rainger, who was bowled by a sharp ball from Asman. The Flams had made 138-5 from their 20 overs. That was always going to be a tough ask.
It was important that the Woodcutters got off to a good start. Accordingly, Carvel was clean bowled off his second ball. Obviously Beesy had been giving him some tips in their Platform 5 Friday lunchtime rendezvous. Craig Vaughan was clearly tired after having to field in the outfield, and was run out for four.
David Wild was batting like he was on fire. Literally. After reverse sweeping a ball down the leg side, he scooped one up straight in the air, and that was the end of that. Craig Rowan, and that man Williamson tried to calm things down. After Craig paddled the ball to square leg, things weren’t looking good for the Woodies.
David Bowie came out to join Williamson, and a mini-partnership was on the cards. Barkley, who had been the thorn in the Woodies’ bowling attack, soon proved annoyingly capable with the ball, and had Bowie caught. The dream was fading.
Asman and Andy batted together for a couple of overs, before Williamson managed to hit it to a Flamingo who could catch (odds roughly 50/50), and departed, but Ali looked strong, and maybe the Woodies were in with a chance.
Chris Banks and Steve Hider also put on a partnership after Asman was caught off the bowling of Rob Malan. Unfortunately Banks didn’t know what he was getting in for. The Woodies batting began to look like the credit crunch: there was a quick run on the Banks, before total collapse. Steve was run out, and soon had to ‘bail out’ his former partner as a runner. This was a recipe for disaster. It was, but not in the way anyone had predicted. Bob and then Nikkie were bowled for first ballers, and the game was over. The Woodcutters had brought shame upon their family, losing at home to the Flams.
The Woodies managed 111 in pursuit, so the Flams won by 27 runs. A defeat to be avenged in July!
Thanks to everyone, but particularly to Cameron Bowie who filled in for Carvel with more competence than Carvel could manage, and Heather Bowie for being the only numerate scorer we’ve had all year. Thanks also to David Wild for building the biggest bat in Woodies’ history (photos to follow).
Special mention to Carvel who broke his own landspeed record by arriving 12 overs into the game.
Next game is on Tuesday 2 June against Livingston CC (at home).