Worcester (u12) vs Stourbridge (u12) 1st's
Stourbridge shade it in the big showdown
And finally it was time for the main event of the morning, as the full force of the Worcester Yetis were unleashed against the might of the Stourbridge Submariners.
Having taken the honours in the mixed events Stourbridge were surely feeling confident, but with half an hour of stiff rugby in everyone's bellies and some already turning down the dessert menu, who knows which way it will go, but expect a battle sir, oh yes, it's going dowwwnn.
Not that there are many accurate records of what actually went down that morning, such was the ferocity of the encounter from players, parents, coaches and the officials alike. In the end a crack squad of forensic experts were deployed to try and piece together scant evidence of how events unfolded, and then Time Team were called in to review ancient ley lines and have blokes in wellies walk about with TV aerials.
So these are the facts. When I say facts, I use the term with a degree of poetic license, however since they are now written down on t'internet, they are facts, nay, #facts
0:00 Match kicks off
0:01 Stourbridge parent offers advice to referee
0:02 Mr. Densley approaches parent and enquires if said parent would like to take over referring duties, perhaps with the whistle lodged up his bottom, which Mr. Densley is happy to assist with said insertion into said bottom of said parent
0:03 Game restarts, tight match
2:05 Game played in the middle of the park. Ball up the jumper stuff, no ground given by either side.
3:17 Big hit from Prickles, got a sweat on
4:26 Noah knocking people about like skittles, and by that I mean those found in a bowling alley, not the colourful sweeties famously enjoyed by E.T.
5:00 Stourbridge try by tricky winger Barnabus Hethelthwaite
5:16 Herbie goes bananas, and finds the Bridge crew aren't a push over. Eat grass Herbs.
7:07 Dirtbag goes Will Smith and gets jiggy with it, kasplamolising one of the Stourbridishians through the fence onto the astroturf
8:42 Big Ben gets his hands on the ball, puts on his angry face, and makes good yards
14:00 The breakthrough, Riley crosses the white wash.
29:00 Stourbridge score at the death. Booo.
While Rob hides in his van Mrs. Densley seeks out said parent from said Stourbridge. Words were exchanged. Rob needs a new whistle.
In summary, more effort required recording events / less beer should be drunk after matches.