First half blitz blows Milton away!

Smith finds shooting boots!

On the back off an impressive 5-0 home victory over Nomads last week the squad traveled to Milton for this weeks league fixture. With a few of last weeks squad unavailable and the gaffer still looking for an extensive supply of double sided sticky tape for his gloves, Hewer returned to the managerial fold with call ups for Pedro Jenkins and Natty Chadwick.

Before the game even kicked off things seemed to start in a very positive fashion as Vince announced to the group he had arrived earlier than everyone else, and where were we all. Thoughts soon turned to 'is he at the right Milton' as this is the lad who has asked for the home ground post code where he has played multiple times. No and behold it was the truth he had really arrived early. Could this be a start of things to come or a one off anomaly?

With the team all kitted out and ready to go it was time to embrace the freezing weather conditions. With no Edwards or Molony to control the pre match preparation the blaming session commenced, with a small warm up squeezed in, and plenty of time left over for a good game of shins! Hewer called the team in to announce the squad and the anticipation of another Churchill esc speech was what we have come to expect, but he was to disappoint the expectant crowd. Hewer was more relaxed after his 1 game, 1 win managerial career so victories are just what he comes to expect from his teams, and he wouldn't be disappointed.

Both teams were ready for kick off but we were 1 man down. The ref deciding he was about as available as 'Piggy' Austin and pulling a no show so therefore Miltons manager had the unfortunate job of stepping up to the mark. With his beer mats as caution cards and whistle in hand we were finally ready to go. Considering the cold and how poor the warm up was the away side started at a blistering pace, winning the ball back straight from kick off and getting right into their possession game. The 1st goal came within 5 minutes. The ball being moved freely around nearly every player in the lions team the ball soon found its way to Smith. Smith cut in field and directed his pass out to the free Colleton. He in turn took the pass in his stride past the onrushing goalkeeper and stroked into the empty net. The combination play from the Lions in the early stages could only be described as electric. It was like Aston had been given a royal welcome and the freedom of Milton for the day. Rabbitch was dribbling out of defence with constant ease, both fullbacks bombing forward combining with their wide men and the midfield dictating the play with no pressure on them at all. It was the work effort starting from the front which was infectious throughout the team. There was a constant desire to get the ball back, and the speed in which the ball was moved was the best it has been all season. The 2nd goal was not long in coming with Smith getting in on the act. Again after good all round build up play Bean was allowed to turn and thread a perfectly weighted ball to Smith who CONFIDENTLY finished. On a normal day that sentence would have been finished with 'and blazed it into the Aston ditch or a neighbours garden' but this was not any ordinary day for Smith! 2-0 and the Lions did not look like letting up. Milton weren't causing any problems to the Aston goal and Fleming Jr didn't even have the pleasure of a goal kick for the whole half. He had so little to do it was like he was participating in Milton's team day out mannequin challenge of last week, or it was possible that he was actually just frozen solid. Smith soon had his 2nd of the game. Aston got a corner on the right hand side which 'Fish' Colleton directed to the far post. Clarke leapt like a salmon to out jump his marker and head back across goal, where Smith found himself unmarked and had to only redirect it past the keeper. Who is this imposter and what has he done with our Smudge? The brace soon then became a hatrick. Bean seemingly with no where to go and on the byline in the Milton penalty found himself bowled over by a defender in what can only be described as an 'I've had enough of this' moment. The imposter then stepped up and sent the keeper the wrong way. Hewer could not contain himself, so texting goal alerts to the existing management could been seen as a warning that there is only room for one Aston 'SPECIAL' one, but we all know he will only ever been known as the bloke in the puffer!
After his goal scoring exploits of last week Clarke was in the mood to add to his tally. Another Aston corner meant the Blink 182 star could make his way into the danger area. Colleton again with an enticing delivery found Bean who diverted the ball to Clarke for another easy header. 5-0 and call from all was to continue the way we are playing and not to let off and the players did not disappoint. Beer who was pulling that piano and winning the ball back regularly which in turn was allowing Evans and Fleming to play the tune. Fleming Sr finally hit the right note after Beer had layed the ball off. Fleming's long diagonal pass was bought down delightfully by Smith with the outside of his boot. He shrugged of the last defender and finished neatly again. Seriously where is our Smudger? There was still time in the half for Aston to get there 7th when good work from Evans, who had obviously been practicing his Cruff turns in the garden through the week, took on a couple of Milton players only for his strike to fall to Bean who stoked the ball home. Daddy Kennedy with a weekend away from the Neighbours set was definitely getting his moneys worth. Half time 7 nil and Aston in cruise control.

What could Hewer say. His team had done everything. So it only really needed a call for more of the same. The 2nd half continued to be a footballing masterclass, but without the goals to show for it. The excellent Chadwick was replaced on the hour by the monstrous Golding and there was a reshuffle at the back with Rabbitch to RB and Golding to CB. Milton had a half hearted appeal for a penalty when a looking ball was attempted to be punched away by Fleming Jr. The striker went down as if he had run into Henry Golding, when actually there was minimal contact. With the pace of Rabbitch now down the right his combination play with Colleton was a constant thorn to the very isolated left back. This was soon to show and should have paid dividends for not 1, not 2 but 3 guilt edge chances. These were like 'Groudhog day' starring Bean as Bill Murray. The identical crosses were inch perfect for Drifter just to tap home 3 times but he was so in ore at how good these crosses were he'd rather applaud them than throw his body at them. There was even the call of 'Oh smudge I thought you were behind me' only to look round for a man that was still stood on the half way line. Bean later went home to cuddle teddy and tell him all about his 3 assists and a goal, but we will not forget what should have been!
Colleton did finally get a reward from someone not applauding his crosses when it caused panic in the box and the Milton defender sliced his clearance against his own keeper for it to trickle across the line. Eight was later to become nine when Fleming Sr was passed the ball in centre midfield after a crunching tackle from Beer. A little ball round the corner found Bean in space to lay the ball to Evans, who went through and finished nicely. A great little move, and the away side were done and dusted for the day! Milton did try to break the Aston lines in the 2nd half but 'Hulk Smash' Golding was just bouncing people off him.....Mike Hedges you have work to do!

Final whistle came and the Milton players were very graceful on such a heavy defeat and gave praise for the football we played. The best footballing display of the season with a lot of excellent stand out performances, but with 4 goals the imposter took the MOM this week. There was still time for Natty to begin proceedings on purchasing the Milton clubhouse as he was mesmerised how nice it was.

3 points taken home and a cup game against Hailey on the horizon.