Bognor vs Ellingham & Ringwood 10.02.18

76 - 0

Saturday the 10th of February saw captain Lee Balchin lead his team of young and old onto the field for a game that had to be dominated by the home side.

After being called off last week, the Bognor boys were hungry for some egg chasing action and started off extremely well with 3 quick-fire tries. Chris Webb and Joshua Burgess dominated in the loose after quick ball from Billy Toone and David Sweeney, the big Great Western trains setting a great platform for the rapid backline to work from. George Castleton then scoring the 600th try on his 11257th appearance of his career for Bognor which opened the account for the Home side and they never looked back. 7-0.

Next up on the scoresheet was Chris Webb, the monster loose-head pounced on a scrappy ball after great breakdown work from Balchin and Adam Knight. The run in looked easy for the oak wardrobe with legs and the score was now 14-0.

Sussex’s fastest and most humble outside centre Sam Newcombe was next to grab a Turner’s Pie, the lightning fast 13 made light work of a lovely ball from his centre partner Joshua Riggall, the centres beginning to synchronise as well as Torvill & Dean. 21-0 and Hampshire Avenue was rocking.

E & R despite conceding a number of points early on were working hard at the break down and jumped with intent onto the gaps in between the ruck area. Unfortunately for the away side it was now the turn of Danny Greenslade to score his maiden first team house fly. The raw winger stepping two and sprinting in like road runner to finish brilliantly under the posts. Some say he is actually slower than his father Joe Greenslade at that age so we should be seeing young Danny in the forwards in the future. 28-0.

Paddy Burnett and Pat Gibbs were causing havoc in the outside channels and made the next try look way too easy. The two linking up with savage pace and swift hands, Paddy running in and sliding over the white line for a lovely score. 33-0.

Jonny Lang fancied a piece of the cake and was helped in his quest for a try by his trusty steed and extremely large fish, James Barlow. Barlow along with Balchin and Knight were dominating in the ruck area and made E&R’s forwards look weak. Lang picked from the back of a well regimented driving maul and planted the XXL Gilbert Free Range egg over the white stuff. 40-0, we go again.

You won’t be shocked to hear the news that Chris Webb went in for another try, this time the melt running in a try from the kick off; Sweeney narrowly missed the nudge and the boys were 45-0 up.

Mr George Castleton was now gagging for another score and cut a hard line through the away side’s midfield, diving for the line the veteran flanker made the numbers on the board at half-time a gorgeous site for everyone but the M27 faithfuls Ellingham & Ringwood. 50-0.

At half-time Balchin was replaced for professional pine cone picker Darren Bidwell, Paddy brought off for Christmas card model Seve Perez and Joe Greenslade came on for Bognor’s biggest nause Tom James.

Immediately Bidwell made an impact and won a great lineout on the opposition 5 metre, the home side kick started the rolling maul and Knight drove well at the back considering he hasn’t actually got any knees left. The ball was shipped out to fake taxi driver Burnett and the youngster finished immensely. 57-0 Bog.

Improving greatly on his previous performances Pat Gibbs showed that he really can shift through the gears. The pale Full-back making his opposite number look like he was running in ready mix wall paper glue and completing the move with a lovely dive over the line. 64-0 Bognor .

Guess what? Newcombe scores again, the versatile back really stretching his legs now and burning two of the away sides backs to slide over. 69-0. Happy days for the home side and Toone began to look happy (ish).

James was reinstated into the game to replace Joe Greenslade who scrummaged, as always, like a pro. Last but not least Sweeney got himself a try after selling a pungent dummy and running through a county sized gap in the centre of the bog like pitch. 76-0 the final score.

Man of the Match’s Joshua Burgess and Sam Newcombe had this to say after the final whistle: “We can’t wait for next weekend, today was all about getting a huge result and we did just that; now for a few Britney Spears with the boys and to watch England smash the Welsh”

1. Chris Webb
2. Jonny Lang
3. Thomas James
4. James Barlow
5. Lee Balchin
6. George Castleton
7. Adam Knight
8. Joshua Burgess
9. Billy Toone
10. Dave Sweeney
11. Danny Greenslade
12. Joshua Riggall
13. Samuel Newcombe
14. Paddy Burnett
15. Patrick Gibbs
16. Joe Greenslade
17. Seve Perez
18. Darren Bidwell