Oakley as seen by Mr B

The elder of the parish gives his take on our most recent fixture...

There was an unusual big yellow ball in the sky that brought many of the Waverley stalwarts to the ground early in time to have a serene game of Frisbee. Jim Jam clearly not a professional frizzer caused Raoul to cry with mirth (or was it type 1 Hay Fever) at his attempts to get the aerodynamic dish into the air, maybe he was put off by KV sporting the gingerest of beards. Loz played to win whilst Mr B supped a can of ale between chukka’s. Mog turned up later than most and seemed to have a premonition about this game as he had arranged the return match for two week’s time before the coin was flipped.

The side settled down as the skipper opened with Jim Jam who seemed to be in a hurry dispatching the little red ball to all parts while Mog looked on, too closely at one point as he was asleep when Jim Jam’s full blooded straight drive was on its way to his inner thigh. Poleaxed, Banjaxed and Felled, the skipper writhed in agony wondering if he had been straightened himself – too much pain to be sure where he was hit, but at least it was close. In the 27th over Mog gave up with another 35 under his belt and then, not to be outdone, Jim Jam flashed when he was beside the bowler and continued to walk off taking his 82 to the scorer. Up strode the Mincer now without the most striking underpants ever seen in the travelling sides changing room, in belligerent mood there was, 1, 6, 4 gone, in between which Waverley’s own ZZ Top look-a-like was clean shaven bowled and Raoul who had had enough already and was unable to see properly, joined the Mallards on Oakley pond instantly. MC thought this was deadly so donned more protection than a Soho madam but didn’t need it, the ball never got above 28½” from the ground and Knoxy walked across one too many. Steady the Buffs from 131-0 to 157-7. It was left to Beanie and Troy to show us the way although Troy was coy and tried to opt out twice, but the fielders contrived to miss the same shot that the Mincer holed out on. These two added 29 to push us up to 186, probably not enough on this ground with 3 short boundaries.

Jamie dropped out of this one with Pink T shirt hand and allowed Chris Beanland (Beanie) in to take his place, for this he was given the honour of opening the bowling with Chewy. A good spell of swing, line and length he unfortunately returned wicketless at (and more importantly in these 40 over games) 3 per over only eclipsed by Chewy at 1.8. Chewy’s return would have been better but Raoul lifted a leg as if looking for a tree when the ball came speeding along the ground to him, candidate 1. It was now that the Oakley score surreptitiously crept up on us, young Will had extracted one opener whom he induced to inside edge on to his stumps and then promptly dismissed No 3 LBW – the hat was on but the ball dropped away from any fielder so Will must wait another day. Russ, KV and Mr B all got some tap, then a straight 6 and the contest was over 7 balls early.

To brighten a dismal changing room Mog said look at this! (I’m sure newcomer Beanie passed out momentarily) but remembering the Pink one he laughed off the occasion and said also the bruise, Ha Ha. A ripple of repartee about who Mog was going to show it to and how he got it followed, just as expected and required.

The valuable part time prizes were dished out in the bar. Jim Jam the main hat for his contribution, HufflePUFF if I am not mistaken and the hieroglyphics for being a big girls blouse on his dog all day and as a frizzer. MC won his shirt back for an even more outrageous leg lift than Raoul and KV got the W hat, for what I don’t know, but the new addition to his family dispels that rumour. The Mincer ran off without receiving his nuts for coming second and Mrs B was seen to take a bottle of Rose into the car as first prize. A clean sweep for Waverley, if only in the Raffle.