1)Close rumours are circulating; particularly in the Market Drayton area that the reason for Lyndon's recent in different behaviour could be due to female attention. Mr. Woodcock strongly denies the claims but a source very close to the club suggest otherwise.

2)A double swoop for Audlem’s rock batsman Tom Measures and Spin ‘wizard’ Lyndon Woodcock looks on the cards as Mossley captain, Andrew Sadler, is due to invite the pair to the Mossley post season dinner. Sadler and Woodcock have been good friends for many years and often spend hours talking on the phone after their respective matches.

3)It has been suggested that Audlem Batsman Thomas Measures has been forced to draw out a fast track loan in order to pay for his regular maximum fines. Sources suggest that Measures was due to fly out on holiday with his family but have since cancelled due to his outstanding cricket debts.

4)League representatives are apparently furious after Haslington Chairman Jonathon Gledhill made an illegal attempt to sign contracted Audlem players Richard Wilson and Simon Swift. Swift was even offered the chance to umpire as a bribe in an attempt to lure him to the Cheshire club. Gledhill faces a possible fine of up to £5000 as well as a 20 point deduction.

5)Audlem all rounder Oliver Burney may be forced to retire from cricket to pursue a career in jeans modelling. He is reported to be on the brink of signing a two-year deal with the company. ‘Raw’ who distribute clothing such as their raw denim jeans range.

6)Strong rumours suggest Audlem Skipper Chris Shenton has angered teammate Oliver Burney over drinking antics that left him still intoxicated for Saturdays crunch match away at Mossley. Witnesses claim that Burney branded his skipper as ‘irresponsible’ and ‘ Stupid’ following a Friday night pulling spree. This comes just weeks after the pair had a major bust up which ended in the youngster being soaked by Shenton’s pint of water. Although the pair claim all has been settled Burney is still seeking compensation for his ‘ruined’ Raw denim jeans.

7)Audlem seamer Richard Brown has been slated by teammates following his ‘Noel Gallagher’ style hair cut. Brown insists that the snip was not based on the Oasis Rock legend but teammates claim they will continue with the sledging until the style is changed.

8)Rumours circulating Audlem that ex 1st teamer David Parry is close to a return to the club. This would see former best friends Parry and Burney reunited for the first time since Parry’s dramatic exit in 2007. The pair seemed in separable in that year and Burney said he hopes that the return of Parry would bring back there ‘special friendship’.

9)It has been suggested those BBQ nights at Audlem cricket club in future will be forced to be cancelled. This comes after Batsman Richard Wilson’s resent strange fetish that he deems it necessary to strip fully naked when in sight of fire. This follows his resent similar antics while on holiday with friends including Audlem teammate Simon Swift where Wilson seemed to stand around naked while Taylor set fire to a t-shirt. Swift, who has been quoted as saying “ It just wouldn’t be right to have a BBQ with Wilson’s condition. The event is supposed to be a family one and it would be totally unacceptable if Wilson was to continue with his holiday trend”.

10)The Audlem hierarchy has deemed it necessary to employ a full-time shrink for fast bowler Simon Swift's anger issues. This follows his regular on field tantrums and mood swings resulting in him jeopardizing his own and some of his team mates safety with regular outbursts of fury directed at the batsman in which he abuses them at will. The Club have told ‘Swifty’ that the problem needs to be eradicated sooner rather than later or face not being selected for the forthcoming matches

11) Reporters in the village of Market Drayton, say the local authorities are hunting for a middle aged man, driving round in a boy racing blue saxo, screaming insults like, "Aup Egg" and "Aup yoth" at passers by. Strangely enough, Lyndon Woodcock hasn't turned up for nets for 2 weeks.

12) Audlem Swing bowler Stuart Elkes has teamed up with England star and lifelong friend Kevin Pieterson at a training camp in Dubai. Stuart has spent 3 weeks coaching the batsman and hopes that this will pay off during this season's Ashes series. The shots Elkes claimed to have made real progress with is his paddle sweep shot, judgement of leaving a ball and risk assesment.