Used to wear a corset to play cricket in, yet still hasn’t quite been ridiculed out of the club. With a backswing that would make Jordan Spieth proud, Beaney has also suspiciously started bowling a lot more since taking over the 2nd team captaincy. This particularly seems to be the case whenever the opposition finds themselves 7 or 8 down – it would appear that our esteemed skipper can sniff out a tailender at 100 paces. Genuinely a joy to watch when he gets going with the bat, but he seems unsure as to his best position/too nice to relegate others down the order, leading to a new game I’ve come up with for 2016 while writing this intro. #BeaneyBingo will be played on the Twitter account, and will be a “guess where Beans will bat himself today” challenge. With only 6 different positions utilized in 2015, Beans will have identified this as a key area for development next year.

Describe yourself in one word

Loyal

How long have you played for Bentley CC?

About 14 years

Fantasy tea (2 x sandwiches, 1 x savoury, 1 x cake, 1 x wildcard)

Probably go for Coronation chicken and a good Club sandwich, the full works. Proper homemade Sausage Rolls and a Carrot Cake, no nuts but loads of frosting on top. Wildcard would be pigs in blankets!

If you could share a century partnership with any cricketer, who would it be?

Brendon McCullum. I reckon he would have about 90 of them but it would pretty awesome to stand at the other end and watch him smash it to all parts!

What’s the best thing about playing for Bentley CC?

Being able to play cricket with my mates

Who would play you in a film of your life?

Mark Wahlberg

Whats your earliest memory of Bentley CC?

Friday night training with Cyril and Lozza

Whats the best shot you ever played? What’s the best ball you’ve bowled?

Probably the six I hit against Stock that hit the top window of the house across the road. Best ball I ever bowled was against Hornchurch for the 3’s when I angled one across the left hander who left it but it nipped back and took his off stump.

The best thing I can cook is…… Toad in the Hole!

Who do you travel to away games with and why?

I normally have to drive so it tends to be the younger players. Manno has to be my favourite driving buddy purely for the comedy value he provides!

What is the worst thing about cricket?

When you’re fielding second and it’s clear the other team aren’t going to chase your score but they make no effort to try to score runs and the innings drags on for the full 45 overs.

A house party is dragging. What bit of trivia do you bust out to get things going?

No need to bust out the trivia, just turn the music up, I’ll bust out the moves instead and that’ll get the party going!

If you could go back and give an 18-year-old you some advice, what would it be?

If the ball is there to be hit, give it a whack... don’t pull out of the shot and chip it up in the air. Did that way too many times in my youth!

What’s the funniest thing you have ever seen on a cricket field?
Nothing notable sticks in my mind apart from Shammy getting stumped first ball against Brookweald last season off the quicky even though the keeper was standing back. Basically, he was standing out of his crease and forgot to get back after the ball had been bowled. It was one of those laugh or cry moments and we all just fell about laughing, sort of summed up our season!

If you could be one age forever, what age would that be?

What do you wish you could do better?

Whilst I’m still hopeful one day England will come calling, sadly as every day passes it becomes more unlikely so I guess I wish I could be better at cricket! Would have been amazing to see the world and do something I love day in day out.

Which cricket game do you wish you could scrub from history and why?

Probably the final game of the 2015 season. We put in a great performance in the field and I thought perhaps we were finally going to have something to celebrate after an awful season but we collapsed pathetically and lost in embarrassing style to put the final nail in the coffin. To add insult to injury, I spent the next 2 weeks barely able to hold anything in my left hand.

Whats your fancy dress costume of choice?

Undercover Cop

How do you see the rest of your cricket career going?

Batting wise, occasional sparkles of brilliance in amongst a lot of average 20’s. On the bowling front, ideally once I pass 40, I’ll be able to emulate the hero of my youth Brian Coleman and transform into a classic dibbly dobbly medium pacer.

Three things you would take on a desert island (no smart answers like “a boat”!)

A knife, my iPhone just for the music and a kwik cricket set obviously!