Hammond hammers Writtle as Seconds make it three wins on the trot

Scorecard

Accompanied by my now customary travel companion for the season Mr Sapwell, I arrived at Coxtie Green Road with unbridled optimism and anticipation for the day of cricketing exploits ahead. Whilst this was assisted in part by a rare early night the previous evening leaving me refreshed for Saturday's action, it was largely thanks to the upturn in the team's form in recent weeks which has seen us kick-start our season and prove to ourselves that we can compete at this level. Even when encountering one of last week's heroes, Mr Snell, whose 5am messages and apparent early onset dementia suggested he had elected to skip his 40 winks the night before, I was still confident that we could keep our run going and drag Writtle further into a relegation battle. This confidence was boosted when I won the toss and elected to bat on a Bentley track that has resembled a road in recent weeks.

Once again, Gunnar and Sappy got us off to swift start, feasting on the buffet of short bowling that was on offer, a baffling tactic to many of us given the lack of fine leg or any leg side cover in the field. However, Writtle's perseverance with the short ball was rewarded, as both our openers were dismissed nicking behind when looking to punish short balls that climbed on them a little too much, when both looked set for big runs. Frustratingly, we reverted to our batting performances of early in the season, losing wickets in bunches and putting our lower order under pressure to dig us out a hole. Sprulesy, who had now been consumed by the "cloud snake" that cost him his wicket last week, attempted to banish it by hitting the ball directly upwards, which only resulted in him being caught, which brought Mr. Packets to the crease. With a 50/50 chance of figuring out which way to hold the bat up, Snelly thankfully guessed correctly, however when the odds were less favourable and he was seeing 3 balls coming at him at once, Snelly was less fortunate. It took 4 deliveries for the bowler to work out Snelly hadn't the faintest idea what was happening or where he was and that a simple straight ball would do the trick. Perhaps if he had taken a peer through his visor and seen the most dilated pupils known to man, he could have saved our dear Lewis from the torture he endured. 57 for 0 had become 96 for 4.

Thankfully, Albie had bedded in well at the other end and was timing the ball beautifully to keep the scoreboard ticking along at a healthy rate. The much-maligned Manno came out to join him and once again looked like the prize wicket for our opponents, with impeccable technique and a glorious lid. To his credit, Manno played a key role in helping us to turn the tide, dropping anchor and giving Albie much of the strike who by now was punishing Writtle for dropping him a few times. Although he only scored 13, Manno was quick to point out the 50-odd partnership (47) he and Albie had shared and to be fair, it put us back on track towards assembling a competitive total. This brought the self-titled but undisputed "fattest man in the Premier Division" to the wicket in a conflicted mood. Feeling at ease in his rightful renegade home, Chaz straight away tucked into the Writtle attack and had me eyeing up a score of 250+, with Albie continuing to mercilessly take apart Writtle's young spinner.

However, disaster struck. Word came through that an old snake charmer, whom we all had assumed had been been banished from the snakepit for good to the land of Aythorpe Roding, was making swift movements to return, by bowling pies and suckling the teet of a golden duck. Yorkey panicked sensing that he would be the first victim of the swindling Beaney, and would be summoned to Swinney's torture chamber. With visions of his last spell in the chamber still fresh in the memory, he sacrificed his wicket, LBW and as we crossed paths he apologised profusely. "Sorry skip, but I can't go back. I saw things, you weren't there!"

Sadly, with the game in the balance at 171-6 and about 12 overs to go, I was unable to console Yorkey, but was assured that his enthusiastic apprentice would be there to perk his spirits up. Instead I strode out to join Albie to try and propel us towards a defendable total. Despite the odd moment of debatable running between the wickets, the pair of us took the attack to a Writtle side who began to wilt in the heat. I even managed to get Albie to run a 3 as I dusted off the reverse sweep from my locker. Batting in a more conventional and technically desirable fashion, Nozza brought up his second hundred of the season as we pushed on past maximum batting points with 4 overs still to go. Unfortunately despite embracing the 'thug life', I ran out of overs in which to bring up fifty whilst also employing a beautiful bit of jug avoidance, thieving two byes off the penultimate delivery when really only one was on. We finished up on 272 for 6, which was a very good effort after the slight collapse at the top of the order. Nozza once again showed how valuable he is to our batting line-up, being the cornerstone whilst Manno, Yorkey and myself provided able support.

After a more diverse tea than we expected (both cheese and cucumber and ham accompanied the Manno speciality of cheese and pickle), we went into the field in confident mood that we would learn the lessons from our defeat to Great Baddow, where a loose bowling and fielding display undermined a good batting effort.

Whelan set the tone perfectly with a fiery opening spell, aided by the strong breeze behind him enabling him to bowl as quick a spell as I've seen in a long time. Indeed he was too quick for the Writtle opening batsman, whose overly ambitious attempt to slap Wheels through the covers before the end of the first over resulted in him skiing one which I called and snaffled. From the other end, Sam continued his good work from last week, giving Writtle no easy scoring balls despite bowling into the breeze from which Sean was profiting. Whilst he may not have got the rewards he deserved, but Sammy's economical set of 10 overs allowed us to generate substantial pressure from the other end and played a strong role in us getting on top in the second innings early on.

Wheels was able to win a mini battle with the opposition number 3 batsmen, driving on the up to Binnell at mid-off, before coming off before he could empty his guts of the previous night's lager shandies on the strip to be replaced by Chaz, who had overcome his bout of PTSD from earlier. Before he could do any damage with the ball however, Yorkey snared the first of 3 run outs in the innings with a wonderful piece of deception. Tickling the ball down to fine leg, the Writtle opening batsman allowed himself to be fooled by Charlie's slightly rotund figure. He only succeeded in falling into the bear trap, and our bear was to revel in snaring his prey. Just as the batsman turned and confirmed his intention to come for a second run, the bear sparked into life abandoning his idle stroll instead pouncing on the cherry with lightening speed. He fizzed in an unerringly accurate throw, allowing Sappy to do the glove work with the batsman 2 yards short of his ground. This is warning to all out there to beware of the Bentley Bear. He may look soft and cuddly, but ruffle his fur the wrong way and he will bite back with a vengeance.

The bear was not finished however, as he soon claimed his first victim with the ball, inducing an edge which flew fast to Sappy, who tactfully elected to embrace his inner centre forward play, flicking the ball on with his head to allow Albie to take the catch. A not-so-gentle reminder from the bear that it was indeed the batsmen's duty to depart from the battlefield was wisely acknowledged, as Writtle quivered in fear at the sight of Charlie the Bentley Bear. This fear consumed the Writtle batsmen who, at 90 odd for 4 with half the overs gone, employed a tactic of damage limitations, as the game appeared beyond their reach. We were happy to play a game of controlling the run rate, as Chaz and Nick, who had replaced Sam, kept things tight and put the result of the game beyond doubt. The two were able to combine for smart run out, as a mix up between the two batsmen resulted in the non-striker being sacrificed following a good pick-up-and-throw from Nicky at short fine leg. I then came into the attack and despite struggling with my length bowling into the breeze and being punished with a few thugs, snared the number 4 who was holding the innings together as he tried to take me downtown but only resulted in finding Nicky at long-off. I have noticed in these past couple games that you are hard pressed for trying to keep Binnell out the game, and the early signs are really encouraging for us, that he is a cricketer who conjure something up from nothing.

After we forced tranquilize the Bentley Bear following his economical spell, I reintroduced Wheels, hoping that he had overcome his earlier bout of dissentry to clean up the attack. In remarkable fashion, Sean was able to pick up our third run out of the day. The Writtle bat cracked a straight drive back down the ground, and in his mind for a split second he felt alphadom flowing through his veins. The sound of leather on willow, the pose he struck and the fact that he had completely smeared the opposition opening bowler were all reverberating around his head only for Wheels to trump this with an alpha play of his own. With a subtle deflection onto off stump and the non-striker backing up well, the batsman could only gaze in disbelief at the entire situation whilst his partner graciously departed despite the umpire confessing to being more concerned with getting out the way of the tracer bullet rather than keeping an eagle eye out for a run out. The timing, the sound, the tingling vibrations down the handle of the bat. All for nothing. Head up Champ.

With Writtle 7 down and the conclusion inevitable, we disappointingly didn't press on and finish the job in a professional fashion. Dropped catches and several misfields put a tinge of disappointment on what was otherwise another good display. Letting them creep up to 223 and not claiming maximum points left a bit of bitter taste in my mouth, as many of my comrades were aware of when one too many misfields of my own bowling left me spitting feathers. Thankfully, Albie was on hand with a jug full of delicious nectar to celebrate his hundred post-game from which I could wash my mouth out with and savour another victory.

Nick claimed two more wickets to add to his collection of 2nd team snares, Manno taking a good catch in the deep and another which I just can't remember whatsoever, but I'm sure it was cool. All that was left was to shake hands and conduct the first ever 2nd XI cap presentation to our newest recruit as per his own request. Welcome to the snakepit Binnell, lets see if you're still enjoying it when the true alphas come to shrivel you up to beta status.

So all in all, another good win. We are coming into form at just the right time and have proven we can compete in this division. Let's make sure we are here next season. Onto next week: Great Waltham away!