Cotham Park RFC Vs B.A.C RFC
By Adam 'Podgy' Kearns
The one with the ref
The beginning of March had hit us, warmer weather, days are getting longer and Ross is staying just as short. BAC were heading across the suspension bridge and begrudgingly paying the £1 bridge fare to play Cotham Park. The atmosphere in the changing room before the game was incredible, people conversing about their events during the week including, Robbie Wilton falling off a ladder and Ross getting the worst hair cut since mine a few months ago.
The warm up had started strong, smiles on faces and either Tony broke wind or he was smiling too. The news came in that we had a foreign exchange ref leaving Tony regretting not selecting Chris Chin although his Chinese is faker than the stuff you get on Damos Deals. BAC headed into the changing rooms after the warm up, with everybody expecting Robbie to all tear us apart in the team speech he shocked us all and gave a speech that would make Tony shed a tear, the BAC boys were now focused and ready to go into battle…
The whistle went and Cotham Park came out of the blocks hard, deciding to pick and go at the ruck over and over again. BAC didn’t look like breaking…until they broke and the first Try went towards Cotham Park. It was all smiles on the faces of the BAC players though as their usual game plan had worked, let the opposition score first and bring them into a false sense of security.
Cotham came back at BAC but this time they couldn’t break us down, with Robbie Wilton getting about 5 turn overs before the ref actually giving one and Nath Flynn chopping lower than a smackheads morals. BAC getting momentum Robbie and thought it was about time to turn on the heat and decided to run through about 12 Cotham players, his wide vision ensuring he didn’t miss one man to run over, as he was (finally) being tackled he saw a blur on his outside, was it a bird? (bald eagle), was a plane? No, it was Gary Chard and his rapid pace, faster than his hair loss he took the ball and placed it over the line. Sheppo stepped up, thought about all the stick he’d been getting for his kicking and slotted it home.
BAC were back at it, Set pieces were fantastic disturbing Cothams line outs and winning the ball, pushing their way up the pitch and taking the opposition for a walk at scrum time. Frans Smit had obviously been watching Nath Moore all season and decided to take a quick tap 2 meters out, took it over the line for BAC to take the lead. Sammy Sheps once again stepping up and thinking about all the WhatsApp abuse he’d been getting for his kick, ‘This’ll show you all’ he thought before slicing the ball wide of the posts.
Momentum was building for BAC and they definitely didn’t try to score off of Every. Single. Fucking. Play! The ball was played through the hands and there were some lovely offloads, after some phase play Aonghus picked up the ball and noticed a driveway that needed tarmacking in the distance and he was off, from our 22 (or so he’ll tell you) he skipped past the Cotham players and dabbed the ball over the line.
More good work from Frans who broke a couple of tackles and looked wide, threw a long 20m pass out to the electric furnace who secured it well and comfortably beat his opposite winger for strength and pace. (The above paragraph was copied from a WhatsApp conversation with Mark Furze as his try was so uneventful I forgot it.)
Half time came, Tony popped over to have a little chat with us, he was all smiles and mentioned a few points about the game, quick and sharp speech. He didn’t stand there for 5 minutes moaning about every point under the sun. After nearly falling asleep listening Moany Tony the boys were back out raring to go.
The second half BAC started off well once again winning their set piece and marching forward, after about 23 consecutive scrums Nath Moore decided he wasn’t being outdone by Frans decided to take a quick tap 5 meters out, Robbie Wilton screaming for the ball on his outside (I’ve not heard a Wilton scream like that since I popped round Clares last week) Nath decided not to pass and extended the lead for BAC. Sammy Sheps slotting the conversion home yet again.
Cotham started gaining momentum and making yards. Damo decided he was going to put an end to that, with Cothams biggest player running at him it was time to take him down and smash him out of his boots, for the first time in his rugby career he got low, he had momentum, he had belief…. He then got completely ran over by the opposite man.
BAC were defending well (apart from the above incident which we’ll all forget about) Cotham were on the attack when Robbie Wilton went down injured, at first the players didn’t think it was anything as he didn’t make much of a noise about it, during the time when play was stopped Cotham scored a cheeky one and the ref allowed it.
This was a wake-up call for BAC who bounced back and were on the attack, Gary Chard coming close when Tony screamed at him to pin his ears back and go he decided a cheeky hand off and got pushed out of play, he had another opportunity but dropped the ball over the line. (I mean if this isn’t DOTD worthy I am not sure what is)
Once again BAC were attacking, working hard and creating and they had created an overlap on either side. There it was PENATLY TO BAC, Welly decided to take the quick tap knowing he had the overlap on both sides, when the ref called up explaining he was not on the 5 meter line. (I mean this should be DOTD as well but I’m not bitter or anything)
BAC carried on attacking but Cotham held on well, with injuries hitting BAC left right and centre. Furze who was dreaming of being a flanker since the age of 4 had to slot into the 6 position, he was doing well until he decided to bind onto Arnotts leg at scrum time. (Another DOTD worthy action). Elliot came on from the bench and upped his tackle success rate from 0% per game to 100% and another notable mention goes to James who ran lines harder than Arnotts cock after his special blue pills.
MOTM: James Dinning
DOTD: Damian Clark
Item to bring: Large Dominos Dip.