Report And Photo's By Frank.
Saturday 7th January, 2012 - Not long to go now my Mayan amigo's.....
Camp Hill 2's 24 - 7 Bournville Chocky Munchers II XV
I woke up in the spare room, no idea how I got there....S**t! I must be in proper trouble! Hang on! I was out with her last night? Well lets try and muddle through the morning and try not to lose my release slip to play rugby. Well it wasn't too bad, I only broke all of my new years resolutions and shown myself up in front of the Parents from my kids school. Oh and 3/4 of the Downes clan. At least Chris won't go back to Oz and think what a drunken eejit I am. JD just looked at me like I was a disappointing child. Well lets be honest he has had a lot of practise at that look. Anyhoo, the wife took the kids off to the Blues game and let me go and play rugby! I appear to have become a subliminal Bluenose (I think its the best way...)
So I pulled up at the club a little bleary eyed and walked straight into Forrest! Ace - 'Jesus Kid, how drunk were you last night? Given up eating carbs I hear - you faggot! Want another fag?' (ok I really have broken all of my New years resolutions!) - except one, no beer before a game. I don't think today is that day... Lets start next week. So I had my beer with Freeman Snr Snr , then I took my kit and pint into the Big boys changing room. Pogo saw the pint and gave me a look the JD would have been proud of. I take it I'm on the bench then.
Bournville turned up again with their 2 coaches and trained as if they were a professional team at the bloody world cup (well any team except England - I was doing that one) They did this before the first game of the season and we dicked them then. The team was divulged and we had 4 subs. They had 5 and the guy from the Go-Compare advert. He lasted all of eight minutes!
The full back spilled everything, their line out was soo wide even they couldn't catch it! We slowly took control and went over in the corner but the ref who looked like an extra from Harry Potter, was stood outside out fly half, said he couldn't see it! To which one of our subs shouted, 'Well chuffin’ move then' I got another 'JD' look from Pogo. Guess I won't be going on at half time then? We continued to dominate up front and we scored from a penalty try when Liam was tripped chasing up his own grubber. Harsh but fair? Liam added the extra's. It was the Dairy Milker's time to pressure us. Rich Brown put a couple of high balls down (due to the fact that he was wearing white shorts that a 1980's roller skater would have been proud of) They scored. I was having a wee behind a tree at that moment so that is all I have to say about that (a la Forrest Gump)
We began to regain the momentum. They cleared their lines and Kicked high - Danny Ingram was under it (a long way from the breakdown for a flanker by the way) He called, Then Richie Roberts called for it - a bit louder and rose as if he had been cast as a Patronus spell from his own wand. Knocked over Danny ran ten metres stopped to shout at Danny (probably a cruciatus curse) ran on weaving through the defence like a seeker from Quidditch and passed the ball inside to Clarkey (as if it was a Christmas present for Ron Weasley (Chamber of secrets)) For the wing man to score. A good try if not a little stroppy... Liam converted.
We talked about keeping up the pressure on and keeping them out in the second half. Then all the other subs went on. I suppose it was my own fault really. Well 30 mins is still a good run out (and i heard the Blues v Wolves game was so boring I was probably better where I was.
The second half was really a forward dominated game which probably bored the life out of Ali & G, yep, our centre partnership was Ali, G.
You couldn't make this s**t up???? and our wingers Bruno and Borat were getting really cold too (only kidding) After 10 mins, We had 2 or 3 scrums where we could have been given a penalty try. Eventually Rob Hunt picked up from 8 and scored in the corner. I then came on, Akeel gave me a look of 'Where the hell have you been?' He wasn't gutted to get the rest it seems. A few more scrums, Mr Go Compare had come and gone, their hooker went to the back row and they then had a front row of all props. It was a shame because it seems the ref had given up penalising them at scrum time. Feeding, wheeling, standing up but we got no penalties for the whole time I was on. And I was quite quiet for once? They never looked like scoring at all after the break.
In the last minute we were still encamped in their 22. We had a scrum in the midfield, we pushed them on a fair bit Rob picked up and popped to Tom Patchell who passed it on to Dan Robinson (now at 10) onto Liam who skins the centre who had fallen over already, Liam fed Rob who had followed up well. He ignored the 4 blokes outside him and the three inside and ran into the only upright Bournville player left. He just got it down. Lucky Lucky Man!!!! Liam missed the extra's and that was it!
We had well deserved our win over our over subsidized milk choclatey neighbours.
1. Braggy - His face when Liam opted for the scrum on our penalty was hilarious. He looked Like Liam had just killed his puppy!
2. Akeel - Had a good game. Line out was fine and two against the head! (that's one in real money)
3. Ash Measom - Part of a dominant front row in the first half. Had to go to work then, is he a taxi driver?
4. Steve Pensom - Bossed the line out well. Rapidly approaching 30, bound to lose his pace now...
5. Boiler - Has made a fatal mistake. Played well in the row, stuck there for life now surely?
6. Danny Ingram - Got shouted at by a back!!!
7. Phil Ferdinand - Had a good game. Got around the pitch well!
8. Rob Hunt - Two tries, rucked well. Would have been lynched if he had messed up that last try!!!
9. Tom Patchell - Played well, gave Liam some good ball.
10. Liam - Unlucky not to score with his grubber. Kicked well to put their line out under pressure.
11. Rich Brown - Daisy Duke rang, she wants her shorts back.
12. G - Not much ball, but tackled well. Shore to be in the one's next week as he wasn't invited on the back's ski-ing trip.
13. Ali - Again starved of ball but made yards when he could.
14. Clarkey - Supported well for his 'Ashton' like try. Has he been invited ski-ing? we shall see how popular he is.
15. Harry Roberts - I think it's the horcrux? It really affects his temper! Don't Voldemort win Harry.
16. Me - Their front row officially complained about the smell of beer in the scrums.
17. Flembo - Put himself around when he got on.
18. Macca - We thought he had become more intelligent when Woody left. Still can't compute a change in a line out call.
19. Dan Robinson - Again worked very hard when he got on.
Man Of The Match - Not a bad performance from the whole squad but Rob takes it for his two tries. Very nearly Pr!ck of the day if he'd have messed up that last try.
Squealer - Only one man.....Harry
Pr!ck of the day - truthfully, there are a few candidates but not one that warrants the phrase PR!CK....
Well done boys!!!! Now lets turn over Old Yam Yam's next week!!!!!!