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Sat 15
13th September 2008 (yes, thats right) Newbold cried off so here's an oldie to keep us going

13th September 2008 (yes, thats right) Newbold cried off so here's an oldie to keep us going

By simon bloxham
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Ok, Newbold cried off as did the 2 others that Scutty managed to drag from the pool so here's one from the corresponding weekend a couple of years back to keep us going

13/09/08 Old Saltlians III’s 7 Camp Hill III’s 59

Normal service has been resumed!

For the devotees of Camp Hill’s 3rd team weekly farce Saturday was a lovely day, lunacy at its best.

Up we shuffled, as is our wont, anywhere between 2.15pm and 2.58pm (plenty of time) to get changed in the wedding marquee left over from the night before (3 teams at home, only 2 sets of changing rooms) complete with dancefloor and left over confetti - no cake mind.

It was somehow disturbing how everyone looked oddly at home, and clearly comfortable, naked in a wedding tent. It was all forest could do to make them get dressed for the game. However this he did, and off we went.

Ignoring the laughable shambles that is the warm up, skilfully avoided by Leysh who arrived at 3.00pm with the timing precision of Terry Wogan hitting the eight o’clock pips the ref blows up and for the record I’ll go through the starting team – if only to see how many make it through an entire season

1 Hudson (uncle Fester)
2 Ellis (Just Uncle)
3 Brueton TBC
4 & 5 The Gerry and Larry show
6 Slater TBC
7. Millar Supertar (apparently plastered his likeness all over
facebook shouting about his 4 tries of the season so far)
8 Floyd (What can you say, except “Love you, Floydy”)
9 Bloxy More on him later
10 Leysh (Yoda)
11 Andy Stinson TBC
12 D.Coy Decoy – wonder where that one came from
13 Jon Wilkes (Schoolie No1)
14 Dave Baker (Schoolie No2)
15 Forest (Fatherly dictator)

16 Marcus
17 T. Ulliot
18 G. Owen
19 T. Breeding
20 Steve Smith

So to the game

Thrashed ‘em, simple as that.

Camps set the pace early on and were rewarded with a score which, unbelievably Forest converted. To be fair Salts then enjoyed probably the better of the next 10 minutes, this was to be their best period. During this session they scored a converted try and, for a while, it was hard to tell who was going to score next.

Some effective tackling and great ‘50/50 on the ground, dirty work’ from our forwards put a lot of pressure on the hosts and eventually the tide began to turn. We collected the next score and this obviously hurt them…..and then came the moment of the first half – get ready….

A quick tap penalty by Forest sees, you guessed it, Bloxy sprinting like a (slightly overweight) gazelle, taking a superb pass at least – oh - 200/300 yards out, a small dummy (yes its been said before) and he’s through to dot down neatly under the posts. The crowd were in raptures, the opposition crushed, gentlemanly applause and manly hugs from players and spectators alike….
…look, if I’ve got to sit here and write this crap I might as well make the most of it – even if it was more carthorse than racehorse.

After this moment of magic a funny thing happened. Direct from Starwars Yoda appeared at number 10 (John Leyshon) and used the force…

Now – I love playing with Leysh – he never complains even when I’m putting him through the most strenuous of aerobic routines (stretch high, touch toes, reach left and stretch high), always creates an opening and has an attitude towards the game and the Saturday afternoon experience that everyone could learn a bit from but this game was a bit special.

Not only does he resemble Yoda, is apparently approximately the same age but on Saturday he proved he can use the force by taking every ball (no matter how wayward) with his eyes closed, sensing the gap, using it and then expertly knowing when to release one of the young, fit, fast school kids outside him – and all of this in apparent slow motion. I think we would have won this one comfortably anyway but it was Leysh who decided by how much. Apparently one of the schoolies was heard to ask – “How does he do that when it looks like he’s going so slowly?” – it’s the force, my child.
A mercurial display of wrinkled skill, with the usual after match ‘quick couple’ attacked with the same energy – more please John.

We ran every ball, cleaned out well, offloaded beautifully in the tackle, felt The Force and proceeded to run in a hatful of tries, 8 in all and, The Force was definitely with us as Forest (obviously helped by Yoda’s mind power) converted 7 of them!

Other performances of note came from Mr Reliable, Uncle Ian Ellis. In the words of Rich Hudson, “…every time I looked up Ian had the ball in his hands” – which ball, Rich, the left or the right?
The 2 School lads had great games – the club can be assured of a rosy future if this level of talent is forthcoming – well done Jon and Dave – both apparently as pissed as parrots by the time they finished – stay away from Yoda lads…
Millar was his usual busy self, tackling well and scoring a few – I’ll leave you to look him up on facebook for that.
Steve Smith – welcome back, great 2nd half, clearly lost none of it.
Floydy, Tom Ulliot, the Larry and Gerry show – in fact every one had a right good game and was well chuffed with the day out – just as 3rd XV rugby should be.

I’ll leave it to Forest to sort out the awards.

Salts showed well, some old boys making big tackles but, overall a bit too young and inexperienced right now. They’ll look good in the future if they keep their talent together, don’t fancy the rematch in 5 years. Well played and thanks for the hospitality.

Bloxy, naturally, outstanding….

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Match date

Sat 15, Sep 2012